He has such a bizarre-looking and oddly proportioned face to begin with... every feature is too big, or too small, or too narrow, or too wide. And the beard doesn't help at all. It's just ONE MORE odd thing about him. It's very distracting.

like he has shovel ready to go in the trunk and a can of ether in the glove box.

Hilarious post

Damnit, Ted Cruz's Beard Looks Tolerable Now

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.esquire.com/style/grooming/amp25558628/ted-cruz-beard-actually-looks-fine/

His greatest political opponent has always been his face. A few weeks off the razor has changed that.

Clean-shaven, Ted Cruz might have the most upsetting face in politics. It was just about two years ago, that feels like two decades ago, that the Senator from Texas was trotting around the country, trying to be likable and the President and failing miserably at both. As he hit the national stage once again, forcing his daughters to hug and kiss him, assuming the fetal position in Donald Trump's presence, and refusing to acknowledge whatever that was on his top lip, the man showed us how genuinely difficult it was to like him.

Some were premature in singing its praises. Five days ago, Slate published a story titled I’m So Sorry to Report that Ted Cruz’s New Beard Looks Great, in which the writer proclaimed that "a marginally less insufferable mug" had arrived. While I agree with the writer's assessment that his transition to Chin Strap, But Thicc was a marked improvement, I couldn't help but balk at the idea that it actually Looked Great.

I know Beto O'Rourke gave him a run for his money in the midterms, but Cruz's greatest opponent has always been his own face. The pursed lips, the dead eyes, a chin that constantly looks like it was just rid of melted popsicle juice. That's all changed now, because there are whiskers covering half of it.

Suddenly, Cruz, a man the Internet believes is the Zodiac killer, looks human again. Usually, you hate this guy the moment you lay eyes on him. Now—and again I hate to say it—he kind of looks like a dude I'd love to share an ice cold Miller Genuine Draft with. Can a beard change any man's look for the better? In the past I'd have said no.

https://www.esquire.com/style/grooming/amp25558628/ted-cruz-beard-actually-looks-fine/

I do.

around his face.

Because they have no honor, and they embody cesspool ethics and morals.

No way anyone told him that. He's lying in hopes of gaining acceptance of his beard.

But this tweet is more on point:

for me to poop on".