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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsTo those who think NFL football players are dumb! NOT! Read the most awesome letter you'll ever read
They Wont Magically Turn You Into A Lustful Cockmonster: Chris Kluwe Explains Gay Marriage To The Politician Who Is Offended By An NFL Player Supporting It.Baltimore Ravens linebacker Brendon Ayanbadejo has spoken out in favor of a Maryland ballot initiative that would legalize gay marriage. Yahoo has published a letter that Maryland state delegate Emmett C. Burns Jr. wrote last week to Ravens owner Steve Bisciotti, urging him to "inhibit such expressions from your employee." This is Minnesota Vikings punter Chris Kluwe's response to Burns.
Dear Emmett C. Burns Jr.,
I find it inconceivable that you are an elected official of Maryland's state government. Your vitriolic hatred and bigotry make me ashamed and disgusted to think that you are in any way responsible for shaping policy at any level. The views you espouse neglect to consider several fundamental key points, which I will outline in great detail (you may want to hire an intern to help you with the longer words):
1. As I suspect you have not read the Constitution, I would like to remind you that the very first, the VERY FIRST Amendment in this founding document deals with the freedom of speech, particularly the abridgment of said freedom. By using your position as an elected official (when referring to your constituents so as to implicitly threaten the Ravens organization) to state that the Ravens should "inhibit such expressions from your employees," more specifically Brendon Ayanbadejo, not only are you clearly violating the First Amendment, you also come across as a narcissistic fromunda stain. What on earth would possess you to be so mind-boggingly stupid? It baffles me that a man such as yourself, a man who relies on that same First Amendment to pursue your own religious studies without fear of persecution from the state, could somehow justify stifling another person's right to speech. To call that hypocritical would be to do a disservice to the word. Mindfucking obscenely hypocritical starts to approach it a little bit.
2. "Many of your fans are opposed to such a view and feel it has no place in a sport that is strictly for pride, entertainment, and excitement." Holy fucking shitballs. Did you seriously just say that, as someone who's "deeply involved in government task forces on the legacy of slavery in Maryland"? Have you not heard of Kenny Washington? Jackie Robinson? As recently as 1962 the NFL still had segregation, which was only done away with by brave athletes and coaches daring to speak their mind and do the right thing, and you're going to say that political views have "no place in a sport"? I can't even begin to fathom the cognitive dissonance that must be coursing through your rapidly addled mind right now; the mental gymnastics your brain has to tortuously contort itself through to make such a preposterous statement are surely worthy of an Olympic gold medal (the Russian judge gives you a 10 for "beautiful oppressionism" .
3. This is more a personal quibble of mine, but why do you hate freedom? Why do you hate the fact that other people want a chance to live their lives and be happy, even though they may believe in something different than you, or act different than you? How does gay marriage, in any way shape or form, affect your life? If gay marriage becomes legal, are you worried that all of a sudden you'll start thinking about penis? "Oh shit. Gay marriage just passed. Gotta get me some of that hot dong action!" Will all of your friends suddenly turn gay and refuse to come to your Sunday Ticket grill-outs? (Unlikely, since gay people enjoy watching football too.)
I can assure you that gay people getting married will have zero effect on your life. They won't come into your house and steal your children. They won't magically turn you into a lustful cockmonster. They won't even overthrow the government in an orgy of hedonistic debauchery because all of a sudden they have the same legal rights as the other 90 percent of our populationrights like Social Security benefits, child care tax credits, Family and Medical Leave to take care of loved ones, and COBRA healthcare for spouses and children. You know what having these rights will make gays? Full-fledged American citizens just like everyone else, with the freedom to pursue happiness and all that entails. Do the civil-rights struggles of the past 200 years mean absolutely nothing to you?
In closing, I would like to say that I hope this letter, in some small way, causes you to reflect upon the magnitude of the colossal foot in mouth clusterfuck you so brazenly unleashed on a man whose only crime was speaking out for something he believed in. Best of luck in the next election; I'm fairly certain you might need it.
Sincerely,
Chris Kluwe
P.S. I've also been vocal as hell about the issue of gay marriage so you can take your "I know of no other NFL player who has done what Mr. Ayanbadejo is doing" and shove it in your close-minded, totally lacking in empathy piehole and choke on it. Asshole.
http://deadspin.com/5941348/they-wont-magically-turn-you-into-a-lustful-cockmonster-chris-kluwe-explains-gay-marriage-to-the-politician-who-is-offended-by-an-nfl-player-supporting-it
KT2000
(20,544 posts)hifiguy
(33,688 posts)He's a blogger and musician as well as being a football player. He even writes for the local fishwrap's sports section about the Vikes every so often.
Good on Chris!!
Oneka
(653 posts)here in Minny, he regularly appears on a morning radio show,93x, it's the best morning radio the twin cities has to offer.
His band is called Tripping Icarus (sp), and is pretty good. He is also as good of a video game reviewer as i have heard anywhere.
druidity33
(6,435 posts)NightWatcher
(39,343 posts)The Doctor.
(17,266 posts)But perhaps still somewhat accurate.
I'm glad my pc has been having shutdown/logout issues. Otherwise I would have missed this thread.
tkmorris
(11,138 posts)That was a thing of beauty. Thanks for sharing it, I'd never have seen it otherwise.
AnneD
(15,774 posts)AsahinaKimi
(20,776 posts)Right through the uprights!
cali
(114,904 posts)every word.
I gotta ask: Do you think Chris has been reading The Duchess?
Scuba
(53,475 posts)MrBig
(640 posts)More and more NFL players (and other sports as well) are being vocal about their support for gay rights and gay marriage. You've got Brendon Ayanbadejo and Chris Kluwe here in addition to Connor Barwin, Trent Richardson, Robert Griffin III, Nick Foles, Doug Martin, Coby Fleener, etc all taking a strong stance in support of this cause.
roscoeroscoe
(1,369 posts)check it out on their site
Doctor_J
(36,392 posts)especially among the black community.
Kber
(5,043 posts)the "straight" co-president of the Gay-Straight Alliance is also one of the Varsity football team captains.
hughee99
(16,113 posts)Great letter, but I don't think this will change a lot of people's opinion of the intelligence of a typical NFL player.
awoke_in_2003
(34,582 posts)He is kind of a big time guy, if you haven't heard.
Autumn
(44,762 posts)Vikings and Ravens are the BEST. I had no idea that that Chris Kluwe was such an awesome silver tongued little rascal. I think I'm in love.
Wait Wut
(8,492 posts)... a LINEBACKER! (pre-edit: I just realized this letter is actually from a Vikings punter, but is in support of a Ravens linebacker. Dogs and cats sleeping together, raining frogs...etc.)
I'm kidding, of course. We all know the stereotype. Sadly, this won't get nearly as much attention as Tebow's religious posturing.
It's a good thing Mr. Kluwe isn't a DUer. 'Lustful cockmonster' would get this hidden, despite the powerful message surrounding the two words.
Thanks, Trumad. Now, I'm gonna go see if I can't get some of my Bears on board with this. They're pretty smart guys, too.
central scrutinizer
(11,617 posts)bwah hah hah
caraher
(6,276 posts)Fortunately I sorted it out (and didn't have to hire an intern to do it!)
Nice smackdown! The shit RW legislators think it's their job to worry about...
OnlinePoker
(5,702 posts)10th District, Baltimore County.
TahitiNut
(71,611 posts)"you also come across as a narcissistic fromunda stain"
priceless!!
Egnever
(21,506 posts)Thanks for sharing that!
oldhippydude
(2,514 posts)get a Kluwe
kestrel91316
(51,666 posts)blueamy66
(6,795 posts)nt
FLyellowdog
(4,276 posts)aaaaaa5a
(4,667 posts)Tikki
(14,539 posts)Tikki
smirkymonkey
(63,221 posts)K&R!
HangOnKids
(4,291 posts)"Holy fucking shitballs." I LOVE THIS GUY!!!!!
Bake
(21,977 posts)He might be a little bit jealous!
Terrific!
Bake
mountain grammy
(26,571 posts)Tell us how you really feel.
TBF
(31,922 posts)Scuba
(53,475 posts)Martin Eden
(12,803 posts)This editorial is from Sunday's Concord Monitor. Sunday, April 30, 2000
By SHARON UNDERWOOD
As the mother of a gay son, I've seen firsthand how cruel and misguided people can be. Many letters have been sent to the Valley News concerning the homosexual menace in Vermont. I am the mother of a gay son and I've taken enough from you good people. I'm tired of your foolish rhetoric about the "homosexual agenda" and your allegations that accepting homosexuality is the same thing as advocating sex with children. You are cruel and ignorant. You have been robbing me of the joys of motherhood ever since my children were tiny.
My firstborn son started suffering at the hands of the moral little thugs from your moral, upright families from the time he was in the first grade. He was physically and verbally abused from first grade straight through high school because he was perceived to be gay. He never professed to be gay or had any association with anything gay, but he had the misfortune not to walk or have gestures like the other boys. He was called "fag" incessantly, starting when he was 6.
In high school, while your children were doing what kids that age should be doing, mine labored over a suicide note, drafting and redrafting it to be sure his family knew how much he loved them. My sobbing 17-year-old tore the heart out of me as he choked out that he just couldn't bear to continue living any longer, that he didn't want to be gay and that he couldn't face a life without dignity.
You have the audacity to talk about protecting families and children from the homosexual menace, while you yourselves tear apart families and drive children to despair. I don't know why my son is gay, but I do know that God didn't put him, and millions like him, on this Earth to give you someone to abuse. God gave you brains so that you could think, and it's about time you started doing that.
At the core of all your misguided beliefs is the belief that this could never happen to you, that there is some kind of subculture out there that people have chosen to join. The fact is that if it can happen to my family, it can happen to yours, and you won't get to choose. Whether it is genetic I don't know. I can only tell you that it is inborn.
If you want to tout your own morality, you'd best come up with something more substantive than your heterosexuality. You did nothing to earn it; it was given to you. If you disagree, I would be interested in hearing your story, because my own heterosexuality was a blessing I received with no effort whatsoever on my part. It is so woven into the very soul of me that nothing could ever change it. For those of you who reduce sexual orientation to a simple choice, a character issue, a bad habit or something that can be changed by a 10-step program, I'm puzzled. Are you saying that your own sexual orientation is nothing more than something you have chosen, that you could change it at will? If that's not the case, then why would you suggest that someone else can?
A popular theme in your letters is that Vermont has been infiltrated by outsiders. Both sides of my family have lived in Vermont for generations. I am heart and soul a Vermonter, so I'll thank you to stop saying that you are speaking for "true Vermonters."
You invoke the memory of the brave people who have fought on the battlefield for this great country, saying that they didn't give their lives so that the "homosexual agenda" could tear down the principles they died defending. My 83-year-old father fought in some of the most horrific battles of World War II, was wounded and awarded the Purple Heart. He shakes his head in sadness at the life his grandson has had to live. He says he fought alongside homosexuals in those battles, that they did their part and bothered no one. One of his best friends in the service was gay, and he never knew it until the end, and when he did find out, it mattered not at all. That wasn't the measure of the man.
You religious folk just can't bear the thought that as my son emerges from the hell that was his childhood he might like to find a lifelong companion and have a measure of happiness. It offends your sensibilities that he should request the right to visit that companion in the hospital, to make medical decisions for him or to benefit from tax laws governing inheritance.
How dare he? you say. These outrageous requests would threaten the very existence of your family, would undermine the sanctity of marriage. You use religion to abdicate your responsibility to be thinking human beings. There are vast numbers of religious people who find your attitudes repugnant. God is not for the privileged majority, and God knows my son has committed no sin.
The deep-thinking author of a letter to the April 12 Valley News who lectures about homosexual sin and tells us about "those of us who have been blessed with the benefits of a religious upbringing" asks: "Whatever happened to the idea of striving
to be better human beings than we are?"
Indeed, sir, what ever happened to that?
http://www.otkenyer.hu/uw-lev-e.php
heaven05
(18,124 posts)best letter I've read in a long time.
Dj13Francis
(395 posts)Yeah. That is in fact an amazingly powerful - probably the most powerful statement on the subject ever penned. Kudos.
Dont call me Shirley
(10,998 posts)Angry Dragon
(36,693 posts)Martin Eden
(12,803 posts)and now that number has changed
all kudos to Sharon Underwood
Angry Dragon
(36,693 posts)a la izquierda
(11,784 posts)Just...wow.
klook
(12,134 posts)Kluwe's letter is gratifying and an epic smackdown. This one is one of the most profoundly moving and persuasive testaments I've ever read.
FourScore
(9,704 posts)Cha
(295,929 posts)People like Emmett C. Burns Jr Hate Freedom. Except their own, of course.
Thanks, trumad.
Arctic Dave
(13,812 posts)Emmett Burns sounds like a douchebag extrodinaire.
sdfernando
(4,897 posts)What a fucking AWESOME smackdown!...I am in love with this man!
mrmpa
(4,033 posts)you ever see what they have to learn in their playbooks. Have you ever seen how articulate most of them are when being interviewed. Have you ever looked at the careers many of them choose after their careers have ended? Law school, graduate school, judgeships, business owners, etc. Hell one NFL player, Wizzer White sat on the Supreme Court.
Have 2 nephews who played at the D3 level in college. One is working on his MBA (BA was in economics) the other is finishing college this year (BA in Political Science, minor in Sociology) who is looking to work as a Union organizer and at a point going to Law School.
I think the majority of football players at any level are some of the smartest people you will ever meet.
SnowCritter
(808 posts)originating from the NFL. Alan Page (Vikings and later the Bears) sits on the Minnesota Supreme Court.
Response to SnowCritter (Reply #47)
SpartanDem This message was self-deleted by its author.
mrmpa
(4,033 posts)Hippo_Tron
(25,453 posts)It's just that some think they don't need to apply themselves academically because they can coast by on their athletic talents. Even more sad, is when they're told that they're just dumb jocks by other people so they don't think they can succeed academically.
William769
(55,124 posts)fascisthunter
(29,381 posts)father worked for MIT.... was an amazing soccer player. Uncle soccer player, and in the Massachusetts Hall of Fame, and an engineer. Anyways... sports is awesome, and so are many who indulge and take part in, just as there are many assholes who do both.
GObamaGO
(665 posts)Curmudgeoness
(18,219 posts)since I do have a rather low opinion of the intellect of football players. I am so glad that I am proven wrong. And I am grateful that I took the time to read this. Bravo!
Bernardo de La Paz
(48,789 posts)Broken_Hero
(59,305 posts)deserved every word. slam dunk
Amazing, but that's all it took for me to be a Ravens fan. They're my new 2nd favorite team. First favorite that ain't from my hometown.
Guy has a way with words. Love it!
eqfan592
(5,963 posts)And I have to admit that this has actually lessened my deep hatred for the Vikings! If only slightly... :p
Moonwalk
(2,322 posts)...I've got one now (maybe two?). Including a favorite player. Go Vikings! (And go Ravens!)
Heather MC
(8,084 posts)REP
(21,691 posts)If he plays like he writes, he must be one hell of a kicker (not a football fan, but I love this guy).
Alduin
(501 posts)LibertyLover
(4,788 posts)and of course I'm voting for Question 6. However, this letter was so fantastic that I believe I may have to root for the Vikings as well. Oh, and as a Maryland citizen I plan to write Mr. Burns and tell him I'm a Ravens fan, I support the right to free speech and marriage equality. Any bets I'll get a response? Yeah, I thought so too.
Jennicut
(25,415 posts)But it rankles and disgusts me that Emmett C. Burns is a Democrat of all things! What an idiot. Good for them for fighting back on this.
Mopar151
(9,965 posts)And at the pro level in most sports, control of fear is essential to sucess. If you face guys like Ayanbadejo across the line of scrimmage, you're not likely to be scared of your neighbors getting married.
Zorra
(27,670 posts)silverweb
(16,402 posts)[font color="navy" face="Verdana"]I'm not into football in the least, but this young man impressed me. He's definitely no "dumb jock."
Kluwe is well informed, articulate, active, and involved, and anyone who wants to restrict the rights of others is in for a beating (figuratively, of course, although I suspect he could also do a good job literally, if needed).
Bigredhunk
(1,346 posts)I forgot to DVR the 2nd airing of it (if there is one on Fridays). I'll check out the video on Ed's sight.
I'm a die hard BEARS fan who hates Minnesota (although they're by far my 3rd most hated team in the NFCN). I like this guy. He's said things before that made me like him. Can't remember what he said before, but I think it was kind of comical/smart ass'ish. I thought he was funny.
A Minnesota fan earlier asked about how Kluwe got along with #69. #69 is Jared Allen, who's one of the best DE's in the NFL. Unfortunately, he's also a stereotypical dumb jock (wore a mullet for a long time, is a big hunter, etc...). When President Obama was elected in '08, he famously bitched that he'd be losing half his paychecks. Which is - A) Total bullshit. It was never going to be half, and the tax rate hasn't gone up at all since the President won. B) At a time when the economy really sucked, it took brass balls and major stupidity for a pampered multi-millionaire to bitch about $$.
http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=3685206
Brendon Ayanbadejo was a BEARS player for years. I always liked him, and liked him even more when he took a stand. It's not easy to take a socially progressive stand as a pro athlete. It's even more difficult for a fringe player like Ayanbadejo (he's known for being an ace special teams player, doesn't play much on defense, isn't a star).
Most athletes are conservative simply because of the tax bracket they're in. I read once in SI that pro baseball players are the most conservative (mostly white guys?). The NFL is a healthy mix of Dems and R's. The NBA is mostly Dems (mostly african americans?). Not many players speak out on things though. They fear retribution from fans and consumers (the average sports fan seems to be conservative). As sellout Michael Jordan once said, republicans buy shoes too. I love people like Charles Barkley who speak out, and detest sellouts like Jordan and Tiger Woods. They're fortunate to be in positions of such privelege, yet they do so little with their collateral.
MLB pitcher CJ Wilson (was a Texas Ranger, is now an Anaheim Angel) complained about other MLB players only talking about the car they drove and such, never having to think about major issues. He took a lot heat for saying that. He's a Democrat.
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/vault/article/magazine/MAG1182628/4/index.htm
mnhtnbb
(31,319 posts)Zeteticus
(23 posts)myrna minx
(22,772 posts)begin_within
(21,551 posts)Doctor_J
(36,392 posts):shakeshead: He needs to be primaried
guappo1
(53 posts)Well we have to put up with these idiots even if they are democrats.
Make this moron have a battle in a primary every time he seeks office.
If that does not work, my hands are shaking!!
God forbid vote for a Republicans.
Now I need to go leave my breakfast in the bathroom....
Warren Stupidity
(48,181 posts)You might be uneducated, but you won't last a season being dumb. Great letter. Fromunda stain is now in my vocabulary, right next to b* snot rocket.
The letter should be sent to all Homo phobics, With some minor changes like, definition for the larger words, most of these people are a lot like Mr. Burns, dumb as a post. Bravo to Mr. Chris Kluwe an sorry but go broncos LOL
tabasco
(22,974 posts)is an un-American, freedom-hating piece of shit.
Auggie
(31,067 posts)wryter2000
(46,016 posts)And I'm 63 and had a hysterectomy.
davidthegnome
(2,983 posts)Brilliant.
AlbertCat
(17,505 posts)just overpaid.
Reptilublican
(14 posts)AlbertCat
(17,505 posts)Still overpaid.
radicalliberal
(907 posts)I love reading about guys who shatter stereotypes! (Incidentally, I never believed in the "dumb jock" stereotype, anyway.)
Thanks, trumad, for calling our attention to Chris Kluwe and for providing the link.
Jamaal510
(10,893 posts)I do think it's dumb that pro-athletes and actors get paid more than professions that are necessary to our society like being a teacher, a police officer, or a doctor. But that's a topic for another thread.
lindysalsagal
(20,444 posts)mentalsolstice
(4,454 posts)He and Kelly Ripa have both been wearing rainbow bracelets since he joined her as her permanent cohost on Tuesday. He also filmed a commercial supporting gay marriage in NY.
aquart
(69,014 posts)AND NOBODY JUMP ON HIS HEAD! You hear me?
greiner3
(5,214 posts)I did have to look up 'fromunda.' From the Urban Dictionary;
"A smell or substance that comes from the build up of sweat in the area between the balls and the ass, commonly known as the gooch."