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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsGet your gay pen, your gay paper and sit your gay ass down and write this guy a thank you card
Last edited Sat Sep 8, 2012, 12:38 AM - Edit history (1)
Seriously. If your mother raised you right then you know you owe Minnesota Vikings punter Chris Kluwe a Thank You, a shout out, a fist bump, a hug, a kiss and your undying respect.
Chris Kluwe c/o Minnesota Vikinks, Mall of America Field, 11th Ave South, Minneapolis MN 55415
His letter in support of gay marriage to Emmett C. Burns after Burns tried to use the power of his office to quiet a football player who supported gay marriage:
Dear Emmett C. Burns Jr.,
I find it inconceivable that you are an elected official of Maryland's state government. Your vitriolic hatred and bigotry make me ashamed and disgusted to think that you are in any way responsible for shaping policy at any level. The views you espouse neglect to consider several fundamental key points, which I will outline in great detail (you may want to hire an intern to help you with the longer words):
1. As I suspect you have not read the Constitution, I would like to remind you that the very first, the VERY FIRST Amendment in this founding document deals with the freedom of speech, particularly the abridgment of said freedom. By using your position as an elected official (when referring to your constituents so as to implicitly threaten the Ravens organization) to state that the Ravens should "inhibit such expressions from your employees," more specifically Brendon Ayanbadejo, not only are you clearly violating the First Amendment, you also come across as a narcissistic fromunda stain. What on earth would possess you to be so mind-boggingly stupid? It baffles me that a man such as yourself, a man who relies on that same First Amendment to pursue your own religious studies without fear of persecution from the state, could somehow justify stifling another person's right to speech. To call that hypocritical would be to do a disservice to the word. Mindfucking obscenely hypocritical starts to approach it a little bit.
2. "Many of your fans are opposed to such a view and feel it has no place in a sport that is strictly for pride, entertainment, and excitement." Holy fucking shitballs. Did you seriously just say that, as someone who's "deeply involved in government task forces on the legacy of slavery in Maryland"? Have you not heard of Kenny Washington? Jackie Robinson? As recently as 1962 the NFL still had segregation, which was only done away with by brave athletes and coaches daring to speak their mind and do the right thing, and you're going to say that political views have "no place in a sport"? I can't even begin to fathom the cognitive dissonance that must be coursing through your rapidly addled mind right now; the mental gymnastics your brain has to tortuously contort itself through to make such a preposterous statement are surely worthy of an Olympic gold medal (the Russian judge gives you a 10 for "beautiful oppressionism" .
3. This is more a personal quibble of mine, but why do you hate freedom? Why do you hate the fact that other people want a chance to live their lives and be happy, even though they may believe in something different than you, or act different than you? How does gay marriage, in any way shape or form, affect your life? If gay marriage becomes legal, are you worried that all of a sudden you'll start thinking about penis? "Oh shit. Gay marriage just passed. Gotta get me some of that hot dong action!" Will all of your friends suddenly turn gay and refuse to come to your Sunday Ticket grill-outs? (Unlikely, since gay people enjoy watching football too.)
I can assure you that gay people getting married will have zero effect on your life. They won't come into your house and steal your children. They won't magically turn you into a lustful cockmonster. They won't even overthrow the government in an orgy of hedonistic debauchery because all of a sudden they have the same legal rights as the other 90 percent of our populationrights like Social Security benefits, child care tax credits, Family and Medical Leave to take care of loved ones, and COBRA healthcare for spouses and children. You know what having these rights will make gays? Full-fledged American citizens just like everyone else, with the freedom to pursue happiness and all that entails. Do the civil-rights struggles of the past 200 years mean absolutely nothing to you?
In closing, I would like to say that I hope this letter, in some small way, causes you to reflect upon the magnitude of the colossal foot in mouth clusterfuck you so brazenly unleashed on a man whose only crime was speaking out for something he believed in. Best of luck in the next election; I'm fairly certain you might need it.
Sincerely,
Chris Kluwe
P.S. I've also been vocal as hell about the issue of gay marriage so you can take your "I know of no other NFL player who has done what Mr. Ayanbadejo is doing" and shove it in your close-minded, totally lacking in empathy piehole and choke on it. Asshole
http://deadspin.com/5941348/they-wont-magically-turn-you-into-a-lustful-cockmonster-chris-kluwe-explains-gay-marriage-to-the-politician-who-is-offended-by-an-nfl-player-supporting-it
I hope you will consider sending this man a proper thank you for this. Even if you are not gay but care about civil rights, then maybe you too would thank the fellow.
I think he earned it.
REP
(21,691 posts)I have never heard of this guy - not a football fan - but he if he plays like he writes, he must be amazing.
Is it okay if I use my Str8 paper? It's Crane's
DonRedwood
(4,359 posts)Did you go to the link and read the whole letter?
I'm serious when I say I intend to watch Viking football if I get a chance. I want to cheer this guy on.
REP
(21,691 posts)We need more Kluwes and Ayanbadejos (and CM Punks, the wrestler who said it was understandable why Abraham Washington got fired "because rape jokes aren't funny" .
DonRedwood
(4,359 posts)I post a lot of addresses on here but wonder if anyone ever actually uses them.
REP
(21,691 posts)I'm meeting a friend for coffee and then I'll write it!
REP
(21,691 posts)And I'm a pretty low-volume FB user
Posting to kick since this thread has his contact info
DonRedwood
(4,359 posts)CurtEastPoint
(18,622 posts)Being a Baptist minister and all that, don'tcha know. AND HE CLAIMS TO BE A DEMOCRAT!
Incitatus
(5,317 posts)DonRedwood
(4,359 posts)Glassunion
(10,201 posts)a gay pen, some gay paper and a gay ass? I usually borrow my neighbor's, however he's not home.
DonRedwood
(4,359 posts)You are on your own procuring your own gay items.
(and thanks for the good chuckle)
bigwillq
(72,790 posts)Love it!
K and R
Bluenorthwest
(45,319 posts)Although I am so not sports ready that it took me a few reads to figure out that he's on a team called the Vikings, and that he plays a position called 'punter'. Like another language.
But...this is the sort of thing that could make me tune in and see what a punter does when a punter punts, assuming that when one is a punter, one does actually punt. At any rate, Chris is my favorite punter of all time, just like that. Instant fan.
Glassunion
(10,201 posts)a punt is a type of kick.
His job is to kick the football when required to do so.
The kicker spends the least amount of time on the field than all ofthe other positions. Yet, many a game have been won or lost based solely on the skill and athleticism of the kicker.
DonRedwood
(4,359 posts)and treated with great respect from us and great contempt from anti-gay peeps.
Instant Hero
Viking12
(6,012 posts)This is his Twitter handle:
https://twitter.com/ChrisWarcraft
DonRedwood
(4,359 posts)I must say I've never seen a sports figure attack back like this before. It is pretty amazing!
hifiguy
(33,688 posts)Kluwe is a very bright guy - he is a blogger and a musician as well as being a football player. He even writes for the Star Tribune's sports pages on the Vikings.
BTW, Don, this middle-aged straight guy really likes your writing: snark, substance and style.
DonRedwood
(4,359 posts)Did you see my Ann Romney post? I enjoyed that bit of snark as well.
eqfan592
(5,963 posts)...I have to say that I absolutely love it. I think he's fantastic and support him 100%. He's actually made me hate the Vikings a little less! But just slightly so......grrr Vikings.....
DonRedwood
(4,359 posts)Not that you are a mountain eqfan...but, well, in this case you are.
:0) If you ever see the guy kick live I hope you'll give him a shout out!
Viking12
(6,012 posts)However, I live in the heart of Packer-land so I can't tell you how Vikings fans are reacting.
Kluwe has been on my radar for a while. He's been pretty outspoken on a number of fronts. I think, as a punter, he is less constrained than other players. It's not like a punter has any endorsement deals to lose.
DonRedwood
(4,359 posts)There is a great conversation going on about this on this DU post.
Major Nikon
(36,818 posts)DonRedwood
(4,359 posts)It will work very well!
NYC Liberal
(20,135 posts)DonRedwood
(4,359 posts)REP
(21,691 posts)Of course, him standing up for a fellow player on another team, civil rights for all and the Constitution while being both erudite and obsence gave me hope for humanity
DonRedwood
(4,359 posts)REP
(21,691 posts)Of course, his aunts, uncle, couple of cousins are gay, so he's never understood what's frightening about giving all people full, equal rights.
His aunts have been together over 50 years. To us, they're role models - not a scary, scary threat!
DonRedwood
(4,359 posts)and best man several times. I've watched their kids, had one named after me, and I'm part of their families...almost every one of their mom's think of me as their gay son. (I get a HELL of a lot of cookies at Christmas...I can tell you that much!)
IVoteDFL
(417 posts)Well, he plays for the state I live in anyhow. I sent him a tweet already. Someone will have to explain football to me so that I can start supporting him better.
DonRedwood
(4,359 posts)I heart Kluwe!
something like that :0) Then you watch guys run around in tight pants, drink a beer or two, watch grown men yelling and screaming for their team, see some cheerleaders jumping around. Oh, and you get to see an American who is brave enough to put himself on the forefront of one of our decades biggest civil rights issues.
A dude on a football team carries a lot of weight with dudes who like football. This is a big deal and a brave move on his part.
Blecht
(3,803 posts)GObamaGO
(665 posts)Sorry, that typo was too funny!
DonRedwood
(4,359 posts)GObamaGO
(665 posts)but that one was hilarious.
stevenleser
(32,886 posts)Am in the middle of moving