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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsMy dad is losing his best friend in an hour
My dad's best friend will be taken off of life support in an hour. He had been hospitalized a month ago and was sent into a nursing home to recover. He contracted Covid and was sent back to the hospital and eventually on a vent. He is around 70 and has a host a health problems and it doesn't help that he was in one of the worst Philly hospitals.
My dad and this friend have played cards with one other friend every Wednesday night since the 70's, stopping only for Covid. My mom joked that my dad was so dedicated to Wednesday night cards that if she died on a Wednesday, he'd still go out to play cards. Well, my mom died this year on New Year's Day, which was a Wednesday. My dad played cards that night.
I'm worried about my dad. We just lost my mom. I have taken my kids over weekly for over a decade, but we stopped due to Covid. My dad is a Vietnam Vet who still holds into that trauma and doesn't realky express a lot of emotion.
Fuck Covid. Fuck Covid.
Can I get some prayers and good thoughts sent to my dad's friend, his family, and my dad plesse?
demtenjeep
(31,997 posts)All the prayers, all the love, all the comfort we can give
bobbieinok
(12,858 posts)Initech
(99,912 posts)The sooner it's gone from our lives the better!
lunasun
(21,646 posts)irisblue
(32,828 posts)The Velveteen Ocelot
(115,270 posts)and for you, too.
:
CentralMass
(15,265 posts)woodsprite
(11,853 posts)Different Drummer
(7,528 posts)peggysue2
(10,811 posts)It's been a tough year made all the worse by Covid-19. Sending good vibes in the direction of Philly.
niyad
(112,432 posts)Light and love. Your DU family is here for you.
N_E_1 for Tennis
(9,593 posts)If your Dad is in the VA system they have wonderful tools for grief consultations among other programs. Even if he isnt they will help. These people know what and how to say to those who have a hard time opening up. Hell probably refuse, if hes like the guys I know, but trying is free you never know..
https://www.mentalhealth.va.gov/families/programs.asp
MissB
(15,800 posts)Both to you for the loss of your mom and to your dad for the loss of his friend.
MLAA
(17,163 posts)Thinking of your dad, you and your entire family Tree-Hugger.
wendyb-NC
(3,250 posts)for your dad, his friend and you. I will keep offering pleas to keep you and your dad well and strong.
stillcool
(32,626 posts)for Dad, his friend and family...and you.
ancianita
(35,812 posts)cilla4progress
(24,587 posts)and love.
cp
(6,541 posts)FM123
(10,050 posts)gademocrat7
(10,623 posts)Take care. We are here for you
crickets
(25,896 posts)dlk
(11,432 posts)Maeve
(42,224 posts)Karadeniz
(22,267 posts)democrank
(11,052 posts)Sending love~
bearssoapbox
(1,408 posts)TygrBright
(20,733 posts)bronxiteforever
(9,287 posts)bluboid
(559 posts)I've never met a tree hugger I didn't love on first sight! take care & stay well.
LaMouffette
(2,012 posts)It was a long time ago, but when my dad died of a heart attack at an early age, one of the most heartbreaking moments was witnessing my grandfather hear the news that his son, who was his best friend, had passed. The shock and bewilderment on his face is an image that will haunt me forever. So I can well relate to the poignancy and devastation of your dad losing his best friend.
I'm very sorry for the loss of your mom as well! Prayers to you and your family!
SayItLoud
(1,696 posts)Niagara
(7,403 posts)live love laugh
(13,000 posts)orleans
(33,986 posts)pazzyanne
(6,518 posts)Take care of you, my friend. May we all move on to better days ahead.
helpisontheway
(5,004 posts)SideStep
(93 posts)Sorry for the loss of your mother.
Watch for and be open to your dad opening up more. It happens to many after they lose their wife and gain in years.
barbtries
(28,702 posts)I am so sorry.
SleeplessinSoCal
(8,994 posts)Boomers get a lot of shit today. Covid is just another hit to the children of the "greatest" generation. Your dad's life is basically bookended by racial injustice and protests. He is a double Vet. Hats off to him. I hope you have Wednesdays free to sit down for a card game.
H2O Man
(73,308 posts)Recommended.
kag
(4,076 posts)Sending strength and healing your way.
Also...
Fuck Covid. And fuck Trump for making Covid way worse than it ever had to be.
sinkingfeeling
(51,275 posts)GentryDixon
(2,944 posts)DownriverDem
(6,205 posts)RIP.
masmdu
(2,535 posts)SheltieLover
(57,073 posts)May he feel peace in his friend's transition to Spirit.
majdrfrtim
(317 posts)Blessings upon you, as well.
Grief is not a mental illness, but it certainly can *feel* like one -- probably because every new grief brings up every old grief.
While I was in the military, I attempted to help military personnel re-frame their experience, despite what the culture told them: Tears are the mark of the *courage* it takes to assault into an ambush of grief. Tears are not the enemy. Tears denote the refusal to "turn tail and run away from" a reality that is unimaginably painful, awful, wrong, unfair, etc.
I pray that all the people affected by your dad's friend's death allow themselves the gift of tears -- including you, Tree-Hugger.
As much as you love your dad, I pray that you have in your life a power greater than yourself which loves him even more, and even better.
Thank you for sharing your journey with us here at DU.
Heartstrings
(7,349 posts)femmedem
(8,187 posts)Hoping your dad and his friend's family come through this with as much ease as possible, and that your father finds ways to fill the holes in his life and heart.
qwlauren35
(6,112 posts)maybe he can move in with you?
Please get tested, get your father tested, get everyone you love tested, and then GET TOGETHER.
Some hugs are needed, and the virtual ones aren't going to cut it.
You have my deepest sympathies; I feel for your father. Watching your friends and family die before you do is the pain of getting old, and it sucks every time.
Cherish the time you have with him, and accept when his time comes.
diva77
(7,604 posts)to you, your Dad, his friend & family
I think post #51 from qwlauren has excellent suggestions if that is a possibility for you
smirkymonkey
(63,221 posts)Sending good vibes and healing thoughts to your family and your dad's friend. So sorry to hear about your mom. My sincere condolences.
demigoddess
(6,640 posts)One thing I know there is life after life. I have been visited by almost everyone that I have lost in this life. They go on and watch over us.
hamsterjill
(15,214 posts)Sending prayers of strength and comfort to your dad.
These are just damn hard times.
I am so sorry.
Ligyron
(7,592 posts)cause you can never know for sure
Wawannabe
(5,580 posts)Feel for you and your Dad (and friend). I am a Vietnam Vet daughter. My dad passed in 2012 at age 63. Lots of problems related to war and only there one year. 1969
Hotler
(11,353 posts)denbot
(9,894 posts)And all those that love him.
Peace.
Rhiannon12866
(202,970 posts)Sending all the powerful DU vibes I've got to your Dad, your Dad's friend and to you and your family.
Tommymac
(7,263 posts)From a devout agnostic. May they find peace and comfort in an increasingly confusing world.