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Tree-Hugger

(3,364 posts)
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 01:09 PM Jun 2020

My dad is losing his best friend in an hour

My dad's best friend will be taken off of life support in an hour. He had been hospitalized a month ago and was sent into a nursing home to recover. He contracted Covid and was sent back to the hospital and eventually on a vent. He is around 70 and has a host a health problems and it doesn't help that he was in one of the worst Philly hospitals.

My dad and this friend have played cards with one other friend every Wednesday night since the 70's, stopping only for Covid. My mom joked that my dad was so dedicated to Wednesday night cards that if she died on a Wednesday, he'd still go out to play cards. Well, my mom died this year on New Year's Day, which was a Wednesday. My dad played cards that night.

I'm worried about my dad. We just lost my mom. I have taken my kids over weekly for over a decade, but we stopped due to Covid. My dad is a Vietnam Vet who still holds into that trauma and doesn't realky express a lot of emotion.

Fuck Covid. Fuck Covid.

Can I get some prayers and good thoughts sent to my dad's friend, his family, and my dad plesse?

61 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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My dad is losing his best friend in an hour (Original Post) Tree-Hugger Jun 2020 OP
you have it demtenjeep Jun 2020 #1
Agree. What a difficult period for you all bobbieinok Jun 2020 #9
Fuck COVID! Initech Jun 2020 #2
Peace to all lunasun Jun 2020 #3
🕯️ irisblue Jun 2020 #4
My deepest sympathies for your dad's friend, his family, and your dad The Velveteen Ocelot Jun 2020 #5
:-( CentralMass Jun 2020 #6
Sending prayers of support and virtual hugs to your dad, his friend and friend's family. nt woodsprite Jun 2020 #7
Prayers and good thoughts from me. Different Drummer Jun 2020 #8
Peace for you and your family peggysue2 Jun 2020 #10
I(((((((((Tree-Hugger)))))))). Prayers for peace and comfort for alll of you in this sad time. niyad Jun 2020 #11
Prayers to a fellow vet... N_E_1 for Tennis Jun 2020 #12
I'm so sorry MissB Jun 2020 #13
Sending 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕 MLAA Jun 2020 #14
I'm sending prayers, and thoughts of well being wendyb-NC Jun 2020 #15
hugs, thoughts, prayers.. stillcool Jun 2020 #16
Please tell him we support him. Peace to him and you. ancianita Jun 2020 #17
Sending good thoughts cilla4progress Jun 2020 #18
Sending love cp Jun 2020 #19
Sending your dad and his friend (and you too ) much love today! FM123 Jun 2020 #20
Sending prayers for your dad's friend, his family and your dad. gademocrat7 Jun 2020 #21
I am so sorry. All the strength and love to you and your dad. crickets Jun 2020 #22
Very sorry for the situation and the loss dlk Jun 2020 #23
May light surround you all Maeve Jun 2020 #24
I want to ditto this wish. Karadeniz Jun 2020 #28
So sorry democrank Jun 2020 #25
My condolences, good thoughts and prayers to all of you. bearssoapbox Jun 2020 #26
Holding you and your Dad in my heart... it's a terrible time. Stay strong for each other. n/t TygrBright Jun 2020 #27
Sending love, sympathy and peace. bronxiteforever Jun 2020 #29
sending love & well wishes for all of you! bluboid Jun 2020 #30
So much sympathy for you and your dad, Tree-Hugger! LaMouffette Jun 2020 #31
You have mine, and thanks for sharing with us, it helps us too! nt. SayItLoud Jun 2020 #32
Sending strength, prayers and good thoughts to you and yours. Niagara Jun 2020 #33
Prayers for your dad, his friend and you 🙏🏽 nt live love laugh Jun 2020 #34
that's so sad. i'm so very sorry. orleans Jun 2020 #35
Blessings and prayers for your dad, his friend, you and your families. pazzyanne Jun 2020 #36
I'm so sorry. Covid sucks! 🙏🏽Nt helpisontheway Jun 2020 #37
Prayers to all of them. Prayers to you as their front-line support. SideStep Jun 2020 #38
yes, yes you can. barbtries Jun 2020 #39
This boomer expresses love and kindness for your dad. SleeplessinSoCal Jun 2020 #40
Yes, certainly. H2O Man Jun 2020 #41
Warmest wishes to you and your dad. kag Jun 2020 #42
I am very sorry. sinkingfeeling Jun 2020 #43
Loving thoughts for you, your dad & his best friend. GentryDixon Jun 2020 #44
So young DownriverDem Jun 2020 #45
Peace... masmdu Jun 2020 #46
Healing vibes on the way! SheltieLover Jun 2020 #47
Prayers, of course, Tree! majdrfrtim Jun 2020 #48
Good vibes sent to all, Tree-Hugger! Heartstrings Jun 2020 #49
I'm so sorry for your father's loss and for the pain you both feel. femmedem Jun 2020 #50
None of my business but... qwlauren35 Jun 2020 #51
so very very sorry, Tree-Hugger -- am sending good thoughts diva77 Jun 2020 #52
So sorry to hear Tree-Hugger. smirkymonkey Jun 2020 #53
Lot of love and comfort (we hope) demigoddess Jun 2020 #54
Sending prayers for a peaceful passing for your dad's friend hamsterjill Jun 2020 #55
Atheist here but prayed anyway. Ligyron Jun 2020 #56
You bet! Wawannabe Jun 2020 #57
... Hotler Jun 2020 #58
My best thoughts for your popps. denbot Jun 2020 #59
I am so sorry that your Dad is facing yet another devastating loss Rhiannon12866 Jun 2020 #60
Good Thoughts Godspeeding their way. Tommymac Jun 2020 #61

peggysue2

(10,811 posts)
10. Peace for you and your family
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 01:21 PM
Jun 2020

It's been a tough year made all the worse by Covid-19. Sending good vibes in the direction of Philly.

niyad

(112,432 posts)
11. I(((((((((Tree-Hugger)))))))). Prayers for peace and comfort for alll of you in this sad time.
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 01:23 PM
Jun 2020

Light and love. Your DU family is here for you.

N_E_1 for Tennis

(9,593 posts)
12. Prayers to a fellow vet...
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 01:25 PM
Jun 2020

If your Dad is in the VA system they have wonderful tools for grief consultations among other programs. Even if he isn’t they will help. These people know what and how to say to those who have a hard time opening up. He’ll probably refuse, if he’s like the guys I know, but trying is free you never know..

https://www.mentalhealth.va.gov/families/programs.asp

MLAA

(17,163 posts)
14. Sending 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 01:29 PM
Jun 2020

Thinking of your dad, you and your entire family Tree-Hugger.

wendyb-NC

(3,250 posts)
15. I'm sending prayers, and thoughts of well being
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 01:35 PM
Jun 2020

for your dad, his friend and you. I will keep offering pleas to keep you and your dad well and strong.

bluboid

(559 posts)
30. sending love & well wishes for all of you!
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 02:17 PM
Jun 2020

I've never met a tree hugger I didn't love on first sight! take care & stay well.

LaMouffette

(2,012 posts)
31. So much sympathy for you and your dad, Tree-Hugger!
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 02:24 PM
Jun 2020

It was a long time ago, but when my dad died of a heart attack at an early age, one of the most heartbreaking moments was witnessing my grandfather hear the news that his son, who was his best friend, had passed. The shock and bewilderment on his face is an image that will haunt me forever. So I can well relate to the poignancy and devastation of your dad losing his best friend.

I'm very sorry for the loss of your mom as well! Prayers to you and your family!

pazzyanne

(6,518 posts)
36. Blessings and prayers for your dad, his friend, you and your families.
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 02:59 PM
Jun 2020

Take care of you, my friend. May we all move on to better days ahead.

 

SideStep

(93 posts)
38. Prayers to all of them. Prayers to you as their front-line support.
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 03:04 PM
Jun 2020

Sorry for the loss of your mother.

Watch for and be open to your dad opening up more. It happens to many after they lose their wife and gain in years.

SleeplessinSoCal

(8,994 posts)
40. This boomer expresses love and kindness for your dad.
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 03:22 PM
Jun 2020

Boomers get a lot of shit today. Covid is just another hit to the children of the "greatest" generation. Your dad's life is basically bookended by racial injustice and protests. He is a double Vet. Hats off to him. I hope you have Wednesdays free to sit down for a card game.

kag

(4,076 posts)
42. Warmest wishes to you and your dad.
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 03:30 PM
Jun 2020

Sending strength and healing your way.

Also...

Fuck Covid. And fuck Trump for making Covid way worse than it ever had to be.

majdrfrtim

(317 posts)
48. Prayers, of course, Tree!
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 03:59 PM
Jun 2020

Blessings upon you, as well.

Grief is not a mental illness, but it certainly can *feel* like one -- probably because every new grief brings up every old grief.

While I was in the military, I attempted to help military personnel re-frame their experience, despite what the culture told them: Tears are the mark of the *courage* it takes to assault into an ambush of grief. Tears are not the enemy. Tears denote the refusal to "turn tail and run away from" a reality that is unimaginably painful, awful, wrong, unfair, etc.

I pray that all the people affected by your dad's friend's death allow themselves the gift of tears -- including you, Tree-Hugger.

As much as you love your dad, I pray that you have in your life a power greater than yourself which loves him even more, and even better.

Thank you for sharing your journey with us here at DU.

femmedem

(8,187 posts)
50. I'm so sorry for your father's loss and for the pain you both feel.
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 05:27 PM
Jun 2020

Hoping your dad and his friend's family come through this with as much ease as possible, and that your father finds ways to fill the holes in his life and heart.

qwlauren35

(6,112 posts)
51. None of my business but...
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 05:32 PM
Jun 2020

maybe he can move in with you?

Please get tested, get your father tested, get everyone you love tested, and then GET TOGETHER.

Some hugs are needed, and the virtual ones aren't going to cut it.

You have my deepest sympathies; I feel for your father. Watching your friends and family die before you do is the pain of getting old, and it sucks every time.

Cherish the time you have with him, and accept when his time comes.

diva77

(7,604 posts)
52. so very very sorry, Tree-Hugger -- am sending good thoughts
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 07:10 PM
Jun 2020

to you, your Dad, his friend & family



I think post #51 from qwlauren has excellent suggestions if that is a possibility for you

 

smirkymonkey

(63,221 posts)
53. So sorry to hear Tree-Hugger.
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 07:19 PM
Jun 2020

Sending good vibes and healing thoughts to your family and your dad's friend. So sorry to hear about your mom. My sincere condolences.

demigoddess

(6,640 posts)
54. Lot of love and comfort (we hope)
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 08:06 PM
Jun 2020

One thing I know there is life after life. I have been visited by almost everyone that I have lost in this life. They go on and watch over us.

hamsterjill

(15,214 posts)
55. Sending prayers for a peaceful passing for your dad's friend
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 08:08 PM
Jun 2020

Sending prayers of strength and comfort to your dad.

These are just damn hard times.

I am so sorry.

Wawannabe

(5,580 posts)
57. You bet!
Wed Jun 3, 2020, 09:23 PM
Jun 2020


Feel for you and your Dad (and friend). I am a Vietnam Vet daughter. My dad passed in 2012 at age 63. Lots of problems related to war and only there one year. 1969

Rhiannon12866

(202,970 posts)
60. I am so sorry that your Dad is facing yet another devastating loss
Thu Jun 4, 2020, 03:33 AM
Jun 2020

Sending all the powerful DU vibes I've got to your Dad, your Dad's friend and to you and your family.

Tommymac

(7,263 posts)
61. Good Thoughts Godspeeding their way.
Thu Jun 4, 2020, 10:16 AM
Jun 2020

From a devout agnostic. May they find peace and comfort in an increasingly confusing world.

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