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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsTrump Considering Replacing Pence with Confederate Statue
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)Alarmed by his plunging poll numbers, Donald J. Trump is actively considering replacing Mike Pence on the G.O.P. ticket with a Confederate statue, White House sources have revealed.
According to the sources, Trump is currently considering a short list of Confederate monuments to swap for Pence, including statues of Robert E. Lee, Stonewall Jackson, and Jefferson Davis.
Reportedly, Trump believes that replacing Pence with a Confederate statue is just what his campaign needs to energize his base.
Plus, hell finally have someone in his inner circle who wont write a book, one source said.
According to the same source, choosing among the Confederate statues is shaping up to be the toughest decision of Trumps Presidency. He thinks theyre all very fine people, the source said.
But another White House insider was less sanguine about the strengths a Confederate statue would bring to Trumps reëlection effort.
Replacing Pence with an inanimate object seems like a wash to me, the insider said.
Short article, no more at link: https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/trump-considering-replacing-pence-with-confederate-statue
Photograph by Chip Somodevilla / Getty
lindysalsagal
(20,434 posts)Plus, their Mothers can't be on scene.
CaptYossarian
(6,448 posts)underpants
(182,271 posts)Cant top that.
I thought potted plant but you win.
CaptYossarian
(6,448 posts)magicarpet
(13,935 posts)... they will then end up with white hair. Maybe the trumpie voter base won't realize that Pence was switched out because Pence is kinda like a statue or a dead potted plant anyways.
soothsayer
(38,601 posts)Technically its all still bird crap, so your joke works fine despite this trivia.
Laelth
(32,017 posts)-Laelth
The Genealogist
(4,723 posts)n/t
Thomas Hurt
(13,903 posts)and have stand beside Trump with those dead eyes.
onetexan
(12,994 posts)crickets
(25,896 posts)BootinUp
(46,924 posts)Rhiannon12866
(202,970 posts)With Trump as a subject, I'm surprised he can keep up!