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ButterflyBlood

(12,644 posts)
Fri Mar 22, 2013, 01:53 AM Mar 2013

The fact is, quitting the Catholic Church IS an incredibly trivial thing for tons of people

To clarify starting out: No I am not asking all Catholics to quit the church (like I did in the past, yes, and apologized for.)

But I think both sides need to give some serious thought to each other, because we're operating on completely different wavelengths here. A lot make the comparison that changing churches isn't something you do just like switching from Coke to Pepsi and is a really difficult emotionally taxing thing to do. What must be realized is that there are plenty of people here who probably don't "get" that or comprehend it well (like I wasn't for a long time) because for me, well yeah it was like that. It was like switching from Coke to Pepsi. It's nothing something I agonized over or even gave serious thought to. I just decided around the time I was a teenager that I wasn't a Catholic and wasn't going to ever practice or identify as such. I haven't since.

In fact I sort of feel kind of like a product that got mislabled before it hit the store shelves, in that I never really was Catholic and never really was "supposed" to be in the way the universe works, it was just a fluke that corrected itself. Only 1/4 of my family's ancestry is Catholic, my last name is one that'd be pretty rare in any Catholic parish diocese rolls (and disproportionately common in any Lutheran ones like the other side of my family, especially in the Midwest), no one in my family was ever big on being Catholic and we don't have anyone known or alive today with a big role in the church (not just no priests or nuns. No one who works at a Catholic school either, actually for that matter no one who even ever ATTENDED a Catholic school. But I did have one uncle who was a Protestant minister.), my religious upbringing didn't even ever involve distinctly Catholic things like praying the rosary (I had one as a kid but didn't have a clue how it was used, for most of my life I just thought it was some type of fancy necklace in fact), I've never seen a nun in a habit ever in real life, my entire Catholic experience was just a quaint childhood thing that I've basically entire forgot about.

Yeah of course for a lot of people it's different. I'll concede that now. But when people get angry about the church and insisting leaving is easy, this is the reason why. There isn't some type of indelible effect on one's life and the way they see themselves from being raised Catholic for a substantial number of people like that and that's why so many expect that just quitting is such an easy action. What needs to be understood and explained is that people all have different experiences and factors in their lives that make some things more important to some than others, not that there is some universal factor that all who were raised Catholic relate to.

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snooper2

(30,151 posts)
2. If one was to watch the science channel for a week straight..
Fri Mar 22, 2013, 02:01 AM
Mar 2013

they probably would laugh at all the time they have spent in church...


Besides, it's time to plant marigolds (Like I did with my daughter after work) and clean the gutters.

Sunday should be park day!

LAGC

(5,330 posts)
3. Religion is like smoking.
Fri Mar 22, 2013, 02:03 AM
Mar 2013

It can be tough habit to walk away from, but it can be done.

(Or there's always e-cigarettes -- all the high with none of the side effects and second-hand smoke.)

ucrdem

(15,512 posts)
5. Are you sure about that?
Fri Mar 22, 2013, 02:49 AM
Mar 2013

You keep telling us it was easy but it seems to be bothering you. Didn't you post a confession thread last last night apologizing for the pain you inflicted on your family and for driving people away with your bashing? Here's part of it:

You ever lashed out badly at your parents as a kid and it immediately felt quite fulfilling, but not too long later you were racked with a guilty conscience and realized it wasn't so great? That's basically what I just got. I lived through it a lot in my teens too, over this exact same issue, with my mom (yes the same one I was bragging about effectively converting earlier, that came after quite a few years that involved a lot of strife and tension), and remembered the times I made her cry. Now that is really the thing that changes your euphoria from a release of anger to the worst ever. http://www.democraticunderground.com/10022538564


And then on the same page, another bash thread considered offensive by many:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=2527074

Maybe you should consider that there's something going on here that isn't trivial or easy at all. I mean that respectfully. Good luck on your journey.

Niceguy1

(2,467 posts)
6. well if all that you do is
Fri Mar 22, 2013, 03:14 AM
Mar 2013

Ocassionally sit in a pew than it can be trivial since you aren't an active participant.

But if you actually participate in functions and activites and have friends there then leaving the church can be very diffiiult and a drastic change

Summer Hathaway

(2,770 posts)
9. One's religious faith
Fri Mar 22, 2013, 04:23 AM
Mar 2013

is not Coke or Pepsi. It's not a matter of, well, just become an Episcopalian or a Lutheran instead - it's pretty much all the same stuff.

Being a devout Catholic, and remaining a part of that spiritual community, is important to some people. Not to you, but to some people.

What you don't know about Catholicism is a lot. That much is evident.

I was raised as a Catholic. I am not one now. I left a long time ago, simply because, when all was said and done, I did not believe in the very basis of that faith.

But millions of people do - and I recognize that. And I respect it. You obviously don't.

LAGC

(5,330 posts)
10. What caused you to leave the faith?
Fri Mar 22, 2013, 04:27 AM
Mar 2013

You seem to know a lot more about Catholicism than the OP does, so I'm curious what caused you to doubt and fall away?

Ms. Toad

(33,915 posts)
11. I'm not the person you addressed - but I can give you some insight from my experience
Fri Mar 22, 2013, 08:16 AM
Mar 2013

My spouse was catholic. One of the things which drew us together was the importance of faith in our lives - I am Quaker.

She has had both incredibly good an incredibly bad experiences at the hands of the Catholic Church. They discovered in college that she was a lesbian, and cruelly drove a wedge between her and her first love (who happened to be related to one of the nuns). When I say cruelly, I mean they were cruel in the way they carried out an inherently cruel act. She left that college and went to another Catholic college, where she encountered a devout group of nuns and priests who really lived - in all their actions - the reality of the Living Christ, here to teach us today (which is essentially the founding belief of Friends, although many do not embrace it now). Deeply spiritual people who practiced unconditional love, which expresses itself in tending to those who need it most. She had a similar experience with some of the nuns of her high school years.

That experience sustained her faith through the many priests just going through the motions which she later encountered. When we first got together we alternated between Friends meeting and Catholic mass. She finally had enough of what felt to her like a perversion of Catholicism when the homily the first week was on how women are the downfall of men, and the second on how women need men to save them. We haven't been back since, aside from weddings, funerals, or masses for her parents - and for the last ~ 30 years the Friends meeting has been her spiritual home.

But the tug is still there for the group of priests and nuns in her second college experience. We contribute to the sisters retirement fund annually, and she is one of a small group of people who organizes regular visits with the nuns of her high school years who are now approaching the ends of their lives, to keep them in touch with the lives they had a hand in shaping. We attend high school and college reunions together as a couple, and I am embraced without reservation as part of the family of both schools.

Summer Hathaway

(2,770 posts)
18. I was born into a family
Fri Mar 22, 2013, 06:40 PM
Mar 2013

of devout Catholics, educated by nuns, and just accepted the faith as a child without questioning it.

Once in my teens, I realized that I should be embracing the tenets of Catholicism of my own accord, and not because I had been 'born' into it. It was then that I realized that on an intellectual level, I really didn't believe in Christ's divinity or his dying for my sins, etc.

And so I left. But I have never discounted the fact that many people do believe in those things, and their faith is not invalidated by my lack thereof.

Religious conviction is a very personal thing, and the attitude of "well, I don't believe those things, so you shouldn't either" is astoundingly arrogant.

 

pintobean

(18,101 posts)
12. Unsolicited advice on someone's faith
Fri Mar 22, 2013, 08:20 AM
Mar 2013

and how they practice it is extremely arrogant and disrespectful. I really don't understand all these threads. I seriously doubt that anyone is going to change something that is a deep part of themselves, just because some anonymous posters on an internet message board disapprove.

tabbycat31

(6,336 posts)
17. this
Fri Mar 22, 2013, 10:00 AM
Mar 2013

I am not Catholic (I'm not anything) but your religion and how you practice is not my business period.

el_bryanto

(11,804 posts)
13. The assumption is that DU Catholics don't really believe in their religion
Fri Mar 22, 2013, 08:33 AM
Mar 2013

If you believe in your faith, than you have an obligation to stand with it, while trying to encourage the flawed members of your faith to do better, be more tolerant and the like.

If you don't believe in your faith - well, it's a nice way to spend a Sunday, and there are plenty of other places you might spend a Sunday.

Bryant

 

uselessobot

(43 posts)
14. 2 Priests told me when I asked once you are baptized you are in for life unless you are excommunicat
Fri Mar 22, 2013, 08:57 AM
Mar 2013

Just like the mob.

I even asked to be excommunicated and was told, just stop going to mass, too much paperwork for excommunication.

I actually liked the Priest who made the paperwork comment, good guy, he left the church a year later and ran off with the hottest 18 year old woman in the church he was 25-26ish. Many of the marred men and unmarried men and teens in the church quietly cheered for the Priest and his new choice in life.

Quit don’t quit nobody really cares at least I don’t.

Live your own life.

 

Coyotl

(15,262 posts)
15. It is just part of growing up in a secular world, thank goodness.
Fri Mar 22, 2013, 09:02 AM
Mar 2013

Even growing up in a catholic boarding school.

Tommy_Carcetti

(43,085 posts)
16. Contrary to some people's pronouncments, it's not a cult.
Fri Mar 22, 2013, 09:39 AM
Mar 2013

If you stop going, you stop going.

The parish priest won't be knocking on your door the next Sunday wondering why you weren't there.

Religion is a deeply personal thing. Whether you choose to subscribe to a religion or any religion or set of beliefs can only come from your own heart.

I've chosen to stick with the Catholic Church despite all its obvious flaws, and hope to work to reform its problems. Others have decided to leave because of those flaws.

Both decisions are to be respected as one's own personal choice.

Rowdyboy

(22,057 posts)
19. Your religious beliefs are just as important to me as your sexuality....Not at all....
Fri Mar 22, 2013, 07:48 PM
Mar 2013

Why should I care what any of you do or think in your private lives? I'm not here to convert anyone to anything.

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