Get a new white onion, and you ain't seeing shit for hours. What's a little mead going to do on top of that?

But he's going to lose. Onions are too light.

All I wanted to do was cut mushrooms, and there's a little short knife for that.

Maybe that's why you were rebuffed. (By the way, a chef's knife is the same as a cook's knife. Look it up.)

pretending to want to help and messing everything so the spouse says: oh, just leave this alone. I'll do it.

Oldest trick in the book.

Fungus rules, and cutting it up is cool!

But after one of the characters was inexplicably written off without an explanation.

How else to explain that character getting chopped?

Relax & enjoy the yummies.

But I passed drinking 101 in college, so I'm good for cutting mushrooms (if it weren't for spell check, I might prove myself wrong).

You never know, you know.

I'm not sure mushrooms of any kind would make much of a difference.

When one is kicked out of the kitchen ones momentum and position are orthogonal parameters. The extent that one knows one is the extent that one cannot know the other.

It's complicated, but if one has ever been kicked out of a kitchen, or some other room, one can understand the concept. With respect to kitchens, it's the Julia Child Uncertainty Principle.

In other words, regardless of momentum or position, your ass is out of the kitchen.

Bon appetite!

That was totally, unquestionably awesome.

It really gets messed up when one has to consider the energy of getting kicked out of the kitchen as opposed to when one got kicked out. Not even Julia Child can help with that. That is called Emeril uncertainty and is summarized as...

BAM!! BAM!! Your ass is out of the kitchen right now (however with hopelessly indeterminate energy).

As I said earlier, it's complicated.

but I forget what they are: position/momentum, energy/time, and Rick Perry?

Rick Perry doesn't matter.


Sticking with the kitchen metaphors, Perry is half-baked. I guess that would be the Joshie Berger law of bad cooking.

Best regards.

Or am I putting Descartes before de whores from Schrödinger's Cathouse?

Oh, the uncertainty of it all!

Best regards.


Just stay away from the lutefisk. Horrible stuff.

I know all about lutefisk. It reminds me--I spent 5 years on the Iron Range one winter, and an old-timer told me about the time a family of skunks moved in under his front porch in Hibbing. He threw lutefisk under there to drive them out. The skunks left in short order, but he soon developed another problem. A bunch of Norwegians moved in under the porch.

Very funny. My mother was Suomilainen; my father was Norwegian.

My mother always said that a dumb Suomilainen was the same thing as a smart Norwegian.

My father would respond with a short verse:
Ten thousand Swedes marched through the weeds to lick one sick Norwegian.

All true.

Upon the Lillehammer Olympics in 1994, the Norwegians published a Scandinavian map with Sweden replaced by ocean. Also all true. (But they make such good drama.).

All shased by vun Norveejun.

It used to be said that Norway exported their idiots to Denmark, thereby improving the average intelligence of both countries.

when asked to use the word "horticulture" in a sentence ....

declared:

"You can lead a whore to culture, but you can't make her think."

and what this has to do with this subject, I will never know.

What was the topic?

You can't drive if you have a finger missing, because then it would be difficult to determine which is your middle finger.

the finger.

We try to ignore the obvious around here.

Last edited Thu Dec 20, 2018, 09:35 AM - Edit history (7)

From Bon Jovi's official Twitter site:

https://twitter.com/BonJovi/status/473111884099772416

Yesterday, my wife sustained a minor hand injury due 2 a piece of broken glass. Thank u NYC 911, NYFD EMT & Beth Israel Hospital staff! - JBJ

That's bizarre. Holy overreaction batman.


When my daughter had a pull down, wall mounted map fall on her head at school, they kept her at school until I showed up (10 min later) to take her to the ER to get stitches. She also had a slight concussion. No 911 or EMT needed. What a waste of resources!

Last edited Thu Jul 3, 2014, 12:28 PM - Edit history (3)

and an ice pack! The school claimed he left on his own -- he must have gotten the ice by stopping off at the local strip joint.

Since Jon's wife reportedly ended up with stitches to her palm, they probably called 911 because she was bleeding uncontrollably.


rocktivity

And I spore to myself that I wouldn't fall for that! Not again, anyway.

There's no chanterelling how many DUzys a couple of fungis like us could harvest!

You've got to be shiitakeing me! We would never do that!

Sometimes it's nice to just wax-cap nostalgic.

I guess maybe I just Blewit



















(this is starting to get hard lmao)

Don't you people have more to do with your time ?

...a bigger pitcher of mead!!!

can you blame her?

YES SIR

I'm 6'4" and she's 5'0", so she'd have a hard time reaching my butt with her foot.

Last edited Tue Jun 3, 2014, 02:59 AM - Edit history (1)

yes INDEED

There's a song by a Canadian group called, "The war of 1812," with a chorus of:

"And the white house burned, burned, burned... and we're the one's who did it."

Which your title evoked

But my wife is welcome to cut stuff if she wants.

If not, you aren't doing your job

Ya' onion currin' shroomhead!

It made other posts make more sense.

...is a failure to curmunicate.

I mean, who could? Cur is not a verb.

when sober.

They're good for the soul. Sans mushrooms

... while drinking mead. I bet Michelle didn't kick HIS ass out of the kitchen! Although, maybe Sasha did...

I can't believe this even meads to be said.

So she did the right thing.




(I am kidding. It's a joke. Not a very good one, but a joke).

Then you should go lay down and count to ten.