It's time for Republicans to just cut to the chase
Between "I'm not a doctor, but IUDs are bad", "I hate Neil Degrasse Tyson because white... LIBERAL... NERDS... love him so much", and the Texas GOP trying to push discredited pseuoscientific conversion therapy on gays; it's time to ask them to consider a change of methods, policies, ways of doing research, and ideas that might better suit their agenda, needs, and perspectives.
Let's go over some of them and investigate how the Republicans might apply them:
Haruspex:
Sacrificing a sheep or poultry and then looking at it's guts to divine the future.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haruspex
Could use for Republican primaries?
Trepanning:
Drilling holes into the skull.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trepanning
You better look out, demons of homosexuality!
Omens in the sky:
For years, things such as comets and other things in the night sky have served as omens telling the end of the world.
I wonder when they'll do that.
Oh wait...
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/matthew-hagee-what-happened-1492-happened-again-last-week-ukraine
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/worldnetdaily-says-lunar-eclipse-was-divine-warning-obama