As though they are just dying to insult an African American person with that epithet,

It is a way of saying that people are part of the same group. If you are not part of that group, you can't use it in an in-group way. Oppressed groups do sometimes use words that have been used as slurs against them in this way within their group, and IMO it isn't appropriate for people outside of that group to judge.

is done only within their group.

In-group means in-group.

sister, brother, cousin something that one would never allow anyone else to say.

to walk up to a stranger and use it would not be acceptable.

i personally don't care for it but also didn't find it personally offensive if they used it on me . these are usually people you know and are friends with.

To me it would be on par with the f_ _ _ word in the Gay community. The rap music I have heard it used in didn't sound like an endearment. I was always taught that was an unacceptable offensive word. I don't know any white people who would use it.

As for the n word, you would be amazed at its versatility in the black community, beyond rap songs. Someone may say "he's a good n" or "solid n" or "my main n" all meaning a good person who can be relied upon. Other times it could be "you know how hard it is for a n", meaning solidarity and understanding. It goes on and on. There are even some people who are not black who can and do use it. In certain communities or social circles, a Latino or even a white guy or girl can use it without an issue.

Same goes with the f word.

and language.

"Oh, Jimmy next door calls his brother 'Hey, asshole," but they all get mad when I call him asshole! Where's the consistency???"

Everybody knows how this works. People pretending not to are racist scumbags, pure and simple.

I ask because, AFAIK, no one in the gay community would object to a straight person's using this word.

Just wondering.

Queer is not used as a term of endearment among the gay community. It is an identity label.

obviously never worked the factory floors i did...never heard used as a term of endearment...

I can tell you that I know plenty of Black folks that use it as a term of endearment (among close friends) ... I know more, that use it as a neutral term among Black friends or Black known associates ... I know many that use the term as an aggressive term, whether directed to a Black person or white, known or unknown.

But I know of only one circumstance where a white using the term to, or around, Black folks that will not put them at risk ... and that is in or among the Hip Hop community.

I used to rap and do hip hop dancing and my white homegirls used it way more than me. So cute! I really do crack a smile when it happens since i know that they just want to be a part of the team. I always warn them when somebody stops by who will get offended. My BFF is Persian and Turkish and gives not one fuck if somebody gets mad. She gets called a sand n***** all the time and decided she must be black and checks that box on the census. Nobody ever gets mad at her like she wants them too. They just ask her out on dates.

Some people are too thick to see where any of the socially appropriate lines are, even when those lines are clearly marked by everybody around them.

it's being an ass.

usually in a never ending feedback loop. Notice I did identify his character as well as why his use of a pejorative was hurtful.

If I thought that, you'd get a private message that would curl the hair in your nose.

They are not being thick. They understand the dynamic perfectly well.

That's what they are.

to do than chase me around this board and react every-time a race issue comes up?

You do know what that tells us about you, right?

I noticed it too.

Many young whites use the word in the same way many blacks do. Most of the time when I have heard blacks using it it has definitely not been a "term of endearment". They were trying to use it in its horrible meaning.

If you use the first two, you HAVE to be white, or it's a racial insult. If you use the K or H words you HAVE to be Jewish, or it's an ethnic Insult. There are lots of others.

Wolf

is here. I'm not sure I agree with all of it (especially the "3.0" part), but I learned a lot from it.

Regarding Justin Bieber and the chain saw joke the article references, I grew up in Ontario as did Justin Bieber and I have heard that stupid joke told many times over the years.

It is typically told by young white adolescents who are from working class neighbourhoods and it is always racist in nature every time they tell it. It makes me cringe every time one of these kids does it. They, of course, think it's hilarious!

Otherwise, though, the article has some interesting ideas around the dynamics of how taboo words enter and leave our dialect.

Thanks again.

"and just why is it so important to you that you want to be able to use that word?"

I have often heard it used by a black toward another black, and it was not a term of endearment. It may sometimes be used that way, but not always.

But if they want that word to disappear, they are doing themselves no favors by continuing to use it, whatever the reason they use it. I would never use it, and I absolutely cringe when I hear it from anyone, including a black addressing another black. The n-word should be left to fade away.

They know damn well why they can't use that word - all their whining is just playing dumb to cover up their racial bigotry.

Usually when singing along to hip pop music. It's still distasteful even when they use it in that fashion.

And I hate it when white people are the only ones who can call each other CRACKERS.


(for humor purposes only)

You see that joke i did ^^^^^^ up there ? I like using the word ninja. I wanna be a ninja.

People use it over here aaallll the time. Even my white friends. We were the first generation to be cool with it from some understanding folks who live in our neighborhoods and get treated like black people just for hanging out with us. It does not bother me because there are two separate words and one is derogatory and is said with an er, one is not. I can tell which one is meant by the way it is used. I never get upset because i have dealt with real racists and hearing 'whatup my ninja?" does not bother me. I just be like ' what it do!"

i need a video

When i met him he did this thing with his hands, and my thumbs and a finger snap. I was like WTF?
Just give me dap fool!
That's him on the bottom of my post. I put him there to scare mean people.

when the elderly lady cafeteria cashier calls me HONEY I don't think anything of it, but it has a whole new meaning if my male boss calls me HONEY

Is profound. It has been an eye opener for me. I hear ya

"Why can't I say it if they say it?" = "I want to call people n-words without consequence, like we used to be able to do."

There is no other interpretation of this fake confused question.

with a bunch of excuses. instead people read this flabbergasted the need they have to use offensive, demeaning, degrading terminology for oppressed groups.

are the most obvious racist trolls on the planet!

I have only ever seen that complaint on the internet, and it is almost always by right winger types.

I am an old, white woman, I;ve heard it in the last 3 or 4 years and I wish that i had been quick witted enough to ask like a post above, “why would you want to?"

You should find more evolved white people to hang out with.

Are there ideas they can't otherwise express? If so, what are those ideas?

I had heard that word somewhere and used it about someone. My mother came flying out our front door, dragged me into the bathroom and washed my mouth out with soap all the while saying, 'that is a word black people can use, you can't'
It took about 40 years for the memory of the taste to fade..................
and no, I don't want to hear about how she should have disciplined me in some other fashion. She did the best she could with what she had.

There's no law preventing the use of it. Everyone will think they're an asshole and a bigot, but if they're whining about being prevented from using racial slurs they're an asshole and a bigot anyway. And if they say it in front of the right person, they might get their ass beat. So that's a plus.

At least then we can all just say "See! I told you Steve was a racist piece of shit! I bet you listen next time!" instead of having to fuck around with all this plausible deniability "PC liberals are oppressing me!" nonsense.

... write a book about it

All the white people I know say "black folks use the N word and no one should use the N word."

For those who want to talk seriously, the place I usually hear this is on the radio...

In person most racists are careful these days, they want to actively practice racism but they know they need to fly under the radar to do it

However, outside of the idiotic talking head on radio, I have never personally heard anyone say it.

are wont to garnish their discourse, strikes me as a proceeding which, however well meant, is weak and futile. I cannot tell what good it does - what feeling it spares - what horror it conceals."

--Charlotte Bronte.

even when I hear black people use it, even in a joking manner.


But anyway, no. It's not OK for whites to use it just because blacks use it.


Not quite the same, but sort of...

I have mental health issues, and have a group of friends with similar issues (we all "met" on an online support group many years ago).

We can call ourselves "crazy" and joke about anything that comes with that territory.

Nobody else can.