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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsMorning After Tea Party Win, House G.O.P. Proposes End to Social Security, Return to Child Labor...
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)The morning after Tuesdays stunning Tea Party victory in Virginia, House Republicans unveiled a sweeping new legislative agenda, proposing an end to Social Security, a return to child labor, and unprecedented gun rights for pets.The Republican Party is the party of common sense, said House Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio). And such common-sense proposals as electronic ankle bracelets for immigrant babies and a barbed-wire fence with Canada are long overdue.
Rep. Paul Ryan (R-Wisconsin) echoed Speaker Boehners sentiments as he touted his signature legislation, to put Americans under the age of twelve back to work.
Instead of spending all day playing with Xboxes, our kids should be in factories assembling them, he said.
As for what is perhaps the most controversial G.O.P. proposal, guaranteeing gun rights for pets, Boehner said, Its clear that the authors of the Second Amendment meant it to apply to all mammals. All our new law says is, if you have four legs and a tail, you get a gun.
http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/2014/06/morning-after-tea-party-win-house-gop-proposes-end-to-social-security-return-to-child-labor.html?utm_source=tny
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Morning After Tea Party Win, House G.O.P. Proposes End to Social Security, Return to Child Labor... (Original Post)
doxydad
Jun 2014
OP
Next they'll be proposing that convicted felons serve as galley slaves
aint_no_life_nowhere
Jun 2014
#6
KansDem
(28,498 posts)1. "...unprecedented gun rights for pets."
Man! My cat will love this!
Rex
(65,616 posts)5. I think the 2nd amendment should include other animals.
The right to arm bears shall not be infringed upon!
Skidmore
(37,364 posts)2. Does Paul Ryan know that Xboxes are made entirely in China?
What a colossal idiot! They are certainly feeling emboldened today. Rachel pointed out that Cantor's unfavorable ratings were at 63% just before the vote. They didn't like him.
Journeyman
(15,024 posts)3. Borowitz Report. . .
Skidmore
(37,364 posts)4. *sigh*
The Republican/Teabagger world is so bizzarre now, anything is believable.
Journeyman
(15,024 posts)7. If it's any consolation, I had to open the thread "just to be certain". . .
aint_no_life_nowhere
(21,925 posts)6. Next they'll be proposing that convicted felons serve as galley slaves
and row till they drop dead. And if they row off the edge of the Earth, no one will give a fuck.