Linguistic Legacies of the Iraq War, Abbreviated (Satire)

http://smirkingchimp.com/thread/jeremiah-goulka/56375/linguistic-legacies-of-the-iraq-war-abbreviated-satire

Linguistic Legacies of the Iraq War, Abbreviated (Satire)
by Jeremiah Goulka | June 13, 2014 - 8:58am

CF – (a) Coalition Forces: The U.S.-led invasion and occupation force.
(b) Charlie Foxtrot: Alphabetic code for an epithet frequently used by CF about CF. (Hint: first word is “cluster”)

COIN – Counterinsurgency (one word, sometimes two). Theory developed by military scholars after invasions in the Philippines, Vietnam, Afghanistan, Iraq, etc., surprisingly led to local discontent and violence. Area of professional expertise for numerous DoD consultants. Summary of theory: Insurgencies can be handily countered through an 8-hour web-based cultural awareness training module, compensation for mistaking a family member for an IED ($2,500), and civic empowerment of local leaders (easily identified by large number of followers carrying automatic weapons).

CPA – Coalition Provisional Authority (defunct). The temporary government of Iraq during the first year of the occupation, featuring L. Paul Bremer, Ahmed Chalabi, and several 22-year-olds who were excited to get their first passports. Among the CPA’s many accomplishments: (1) sending the Iraqi Army home with their weapons and the promise of severance, (2) failing to pay that severance, and (3) creating an armed insurgency.

CT – Counterterrorism (one word, sometimes two). Similar to COIN, but unlike the tendency of insurgencies to be limited to a single country (usually a devastated war zone), terrorism can be worldwide or even at home, making CT contracts much more fun. Impetus of the award-winning See Something, Say SomethingTM campaign, the long-overdue purchase of tanks and armored personnel carriers for your local police department, and a constant flow of new terrorists to counter.