General Discussion

ripcord

(5,284 posts) Fri Jun 20, 2014, 12:25 AM Jun 2014

It was depressing that I had to have this talk

One of the girls at work is marrying her partner this weekend in a local park and invited a number of us to come to the ceremony. One of our other truck drivers who didn't know she was gay started making some really nasty comments behind her back and I know I'm supposed to control my temper but I fully admit to being weak in a number of areas. I told him I didn't care if he went to the wedding or what he thought about her but he was damned sure going to keep his mouth shut and and be polite. I told him if he should ever say anything offensive to her I would start breaking his fingers one by one until he apologized. Of course he went to the boss and he told him that he should pay attention because he had known me for years and seriously doubted I was joking.

I know I shouldn't handle problems like that but I was seriously pissed, why is it that so many people have to hate anything they don't understand? This girl is really nice and goes out of her way to help everyone, she starts up a collection when anyone is in need and always has time to listen when someone needs to talk, what more can you expect of a person?

15 replies

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It was depressing that I had to have this talk (Original Post) ripcord Jun 2014 OP

Too many never acknowledge what good a person does, they only see a label. It's a waste. freshwest Jun 2014 #1

There are a lot of people in the world always looking for opportunities to RKP5637 Jun 2014 #2

So true. I call this behavior "Jerry Springer Syndrome". stillwaiting Jun 2014 #10

I'd be happy to supply you with pliers for the finger-breaking. dballance Jun 2014 #3

You were nicer to him than I would be. KentuckyWoman Jun 2014 #4

Pliers??? bearssoapbox Jun 2014 #5

Oh, god! Not the pliers!!!! Iggo Jun 2014 #8

It sounds like you have a great boss. pnwmom Jun 2014 #6

that's not the answer vlyons Jun 2014 #7

Well said. But I'd add that the weak attack, but the strong are compassionate. freshwest Jun 2014 #14

Good on you, friend. raven mad Jun 2014 #9

At least the problem was limited to one person ripcord Jun 2014 #11

Threatening violence, even if "just for effect" is never the correct approach. WillowTree Jun 2014 #12

I wouldn't be so absolute about that. Fantastic Anarchist Jun 2014 #15

Laughter or mockery might have done better but I don't blame you, either. randome Jun 2014 #13

freshwest

(53,661 posts)

1. Too many never acknowledge what good a person does, they only see a label. It's a waste.

Reply to ripcord (Original post)

Fri Jun 20, 2014, 12:29 AM

Jun 2014

RKP5637

(67,089 posts)

2. There are a lot of people in the world always looking for opportunities to

Reply to ripcord (Original post)

Fri Jun 20, 2014, 12:54 AM

Jun 2014

dump on someone trying to feel good about themselves. She was as easy target for this asshole!

stillwaiting

(3,795 posts)

10. So true. I call this behavior "Jerry Springer Syndrome".

Reply to RKP5637 (Reply #2)

Fri Jun 20, 2014, 07:03 AM

Jun 2014

Tearing down others to feel better about oneself is unfortunately a common occurrence in our society.

Those who engage in it have very low self-esteem. It's no surprise that many in our society have low self-esteem due to the way our society is structured and the main messages that are instilled in us throughout our lives from a very early age.

dballance

(5,756 posts)

3. I'd be happy to supply you with pliers for the finger-breaking.

Reply to ripcord (Original post)

Fri Jun 20, 2014, 01:33 AM

Jun 2014

Yes, I know I'm also supposed to be better than that. Some days I just can't help myself.

KentuckyWoman

(6,679 posts)

4. You were nicer to him than I would be.

Reply to ripcord (Original post)

Fri Jun 20, 2014, 01:36 AM

Jun 2014

I would have humiliated him in front of anyone nearby by openly pitying him and the poor woman who bore him.

I have a gift in this regard. I can make a bully almost whimper in pain with the right look and a well placed sentence.

bearssoapbox

(1,408 posts)

5. Pliers???

Reply to ripcord (Original post)

Fri Jun 20, 2014, 01:45 AM

Jun 2014

You don't need no stinkin' pliers.

You know...for that 'personal' touch.

Iggo

(47,537 posts)

8. Oh, god! Not the pliers!!!!

Reply to bearssoapbox (Reply #5)

Fri Jun 20, 2014, 02:37 AM

Jun 2014

pnwmom

(108,960 posts)

6. It sounds like you have a great boss.

Reply to ripcord (Original post)

Fri Jun 20, 2014, 01:54 AM

Jun 2014

Good for you and the boss.

vlyons

(10,252 posts)

7. that's not the answer

Reply to ripcord (Original post)

Fri Jun 20, 2014, 02:35 AM

Jun 2014

threatening to break is fingers is not the answer. That type of answer comes from the same place as his bigotry - a place of fear, anger, and hatred.

Next time (and I hope there's not a next time), just tell him that his belittlement of other people is the hallmark of deep insecurity and ignorance. That compassion and tolerance and peace are the teachings of Jesus. That when he spouts such ignorant and hateful statements, he loses respect in your eyes. That he needs to meditate on where the ignorance and hatred in his mind and heart come from, and start working on doing something positive about it. That ignorance and hatred are poison and always result in unhappiness for himself and others.

freshwest

(53,661 posts)

14. Well said. But I'd add that the weak attack, but the strong are compassionate.

Reply to vlyons (Reply #7)

Fri Jun 20, 2014, 12:21 PM

Jun 2014

raven mad

(4,940 posts)

9. Good on you, friend.

Reply to ripcord (Original post)

Fri Jun 20, 2014, 06:01 AM

Jun 2014

My niece and her lovely spouse - both beautiful, educated, exciting and FUN women - got badmouthed so badly at work, they both quit. Both are software coders - and landed better jobs.

I get so angry when LGBT friends are put down for being who they are.