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davidthegnome

(2,983 posts)
Tue Jun 24, 2014, 12:40 AM Jun 2014

Is employment worth more than humanity?

I've been asking myself this question lately, because of an experience I had at my job the other night. So I wanted to share it here to see if I could get some kind of feedback, or at least some understanding.

A co-worker of mine was hanging out around the hotel I work at yesterday. For the purposes of this story, I'll call him Ned. I realized that Ned was there long after his shift (he is a full time worker). So I asked him what he was doing there so late on a Sunday. He had a pained grimace on his face and looked really upset about something.

He told me that someone had been supposed to give him a ride home, but had ditched him. He was too tired to walk home for the second day in a row - as his home is ten miles away from where we work. Nonetheless, he walks two or three times a week when he can't afford the twenty dollar cab - both to and from work - and his dedication and strength humble me. I listened to him talk about how he was living in a halfway house (I think that's what they're called) and was struggling to get by. It was a story that humbled me, for all that I have complained about, I am fortunate enough to have a family that loves me and supports me. I have never been in a position where I truly had to fear homelessness.

No one who was working that day was heading to his town at the end of the night. So Ned shrugged with good nature and told me he'd find a comfortable spot in the woods. I stood there thinking about it for a good while, wondering what I could do to help him, if there was anyone I knew who might be willing to give him a ride - because it would be so inconvenient to give a ride to a man who was poor and wore torn clothing and might possibly be dangerous. So inconvenient to give him a ride to a place where he could sleep in a bed as opposed to being eaten alive by Maine's black flies in the woods all night.

I loaned him my cell phone so he could ask a friend - who wasn't able to give him a ride. Then it occurred to me, hey, we work for a hotel, we're less than half full tonight... all I have to do is talk to management to get him a room. So I told Ned I could do that for him and probably argue them down to giving him the room for the night without charging him.

He shook his head. "No, I spent what money I had left on a room here last night and they gave me a really hard time about it. I don't want to ask them for anything. It's a pride thing, you understand?" (Not his exact words, but something like that). I did understand, somewhat. I've never really been in such a desperate situation as he is, but there was a time when it was a struggle to buy milk for my toddler son. There was a time when I knew all too well the quiet suffering and deeply felt shame of barely being able to feed your children. Back then, it was hard as hell to ask anyone for anything. It's a pride thing.

It occurred to me that management had given him a hard time for the reasons I mentioned. Ned doesn't have the money to dress up a great deal, doesn't have a car to get to and from work. Doesn't have much for security, collateral, or financial value. Merely his appearance has lead to people accusing him of theft, drug addiction, they call him names and give him shit he doesn't deserve, he's generally a very pleasant guy.

If I had asked for a room because I couldn't get home? They would have given me one. They know my parents, knew my grandparents, my family. My Father has worked with the owner on a few different projects. They know my family has some money (we're not rich, but we get by) and that anything broken would ultimately be paid for. Security, of a sort. They would not have made me jump through hoops, been nasty to me, or forced me to check out early so housekeeping could make sure nothing was missing from the room, or broken. Or that no drugs had been made in it.

Yet there I was, in a half empty hotel, where I couldn't give a room to a struggling man...who works for that same hotel - basically because we live in a society that judges the poor in the worst way. Basically because he didn't come from a "good old family" like so many we have up here. It really shook me up. I'm still shaken now.

All of my grand ideals, principles, notions about empathy and compassion seemed so hypocritical when I considered the people I work for and the way they treat those less fortunate. When I consider how our workers are treated, how we are very elitist and snobby in who we truly welcome to the hotel, and who we "let in" with our noses in the air.

I ended up giving Ned my last twenty dollars for the cab ride home - and I don't regret it one bit. It meant I couldn't buy myself dinner that night - but I knew that when I got home at midnight there would be something there to eat. My Father lectured me about needing every dollar I have, telling me I can't be doing that sort of thing - then my sister reminded him that he once gave his coat to a homeless man in the winter, even though it was a very expensive coat he loved a great deal.

I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to work for this corporate, elitist, snobby bull shit. I don't want to worship money like so many others do. I don't want to have to turn people away because they look poor or dirty - and I don't want to work for assholes who judge books by their covers, who harshly criticize and condemn people just because they are less fortunate.

I want to do something that helps people. I don't know what - but I've just about had it with working for rich assholes and snobs.

The shitty thing is that there are no really good jobs up here, it's basically just a choice of a shit sandwich or a warm glass of piss. Maybe it's time to give my resignation and move on to something else. I want to, but I guess when it comes down to it, I'm afraid of ending up like Ned.

What a screwed up society we live in. People with hearts of gold are degraded, looked down upon, treated like they are worth less than shit... just because they don't have "things". They are looked at askance when met on the street, glared at dangerously when they might happen to walk near one of our children. People in this Country are even beaten and locked up, at times, ultimately...because they are poor and have no defense.

What tyrants, those of wealth who sneeringly tell people to get a job - those very same wealthy people who pay minimum wage and complain that people "always have their hands out". The true disgrace in this whole story comes down to the simple fact that I could not give a room to a man because he was poor. Oh, people try to pretty these things up with words like safety, collateral, nice comfortable little legalities and a world of rationalizations, justifications and petty reasoning... but what it comes down to, what it truly comes down to, is contempt for the poor.

I feel like such an asshole right now. Just for working for the people I work for. I can comfort myself with the fact that "hey, I gave him the money for a ride, didn't I?" But that's nothing. If I work for - if I enable and empower people who are elitist assholes, then I am part of the problem, too.

10 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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Is employment worth more than humanity? (Original Post) davidthegnome Jun 2014 OP
K&R Joe Shlabotnik Jun 2014 #1
Excellent. And it's not just the rich. There is a reason this verse has always stood out to me: freshwest Jun 2014 #2
Working for assholes is Unknown Beatle Jun 2014 #3
I haven't logged in here for months... OneGrassRoot Jun 2014 #4
K&R. JDPriestly Jun 2014 #5
well said Komiko Jun 2014 #6
At least one person has tried to help Ned. TexasTowelie Jun 2014 #7
K&R. TexasTowelie Jun 2014 #8
Part of the problem with my position davidthegnome Jun 2014 #9
Wow! What a story... Rhiannon12866 Jun 2014 #10

Joe Shlabotnik

(5,604 posts)
1. K&R
Tue Jun 24, 2014, 01:42 AM
Jun 2014

I want no part of it either. But you are correct, fear of being crushed by the machine keeps us running in the rat race that powers the machine. Alone, we are weak and vulnerable like 'Ned', but together we can find strength.

freshwest

(53,661 posts)
2. Excellent. And it's not just the rich. There is a reason this verse has always stood out to me:
Tue Jun 24, 2014, 02:38 AM
Jun 2014
Are not these woods more free from peril than the envious court? Here feel we not the penalty of Adam, the seasons' difference, the icy fang, and churlish chiding of the winter's wind, which, when it bites and blows upon my body, even till I shrink with cold, i smile and say, "this is no flattery; these are counselors that feelingly persuade me what i am..."

A person with no family learns very quickly that nature can be much kinder than some people marginally better or worse off.

Nature holds no grudge, makes no judgement or profit, does not mock or play games with one's heart and mind and pride.

It is what it is and reliably so, no more or less.

I am glad you have the means to give him some help, and more than that, you listened to him and treated him as a brother.

That was the real gift. You have a good mind and heart.

Unknown Beatle

(2,671 posts)
3. Working for assholes is
Tue Jun 24, 2014, 03:17 AM
Jun 2014

nothing new. I have worked for assholes and had to grin and bear it. Who knows, if you quit your job and land another one, you might work for a bigger asshole.

Life is hard for a lot of us, but we make it the best we can for ourselves. There are people out there that are trying very hard to bring us down as I write this. We just have to keep on keeping on.

TexasTowelie

(110,972 posts)
7. At least one person has tried to help Ned.
Tue Jun 24, 2014, 04:02 AM
Jun 2014

Unfortunately, we need more people to feel this way in order to make a difference.

Welcome to DU!

TexasTowelie

(110,972 posts)
8. K&R.
Tue Jun 24, 2014, 04:08 AM
Jun 2014

I'm living that life where I am a non-person because I'm unemployed. The fact that you showed Ned some compassion may have been the best thing that has happened to him in awhile.

There are some good people that try help others, but for the hotel owner to turn his back on his own employee is shameful If I knew the owners of an establishment had that type of attitude I would never give them business again.

davidthegnome

(2,983 posts)
9. Part of the problem with my position
Tue Jun 24, 2014, 10:41 AM
Jun 2014

I can't really go public about a lot of the crap that goes on there, due to confidentiality laws. If I could, I'd post some of this stuff on facebook, write editorials in the paper about it, shout it from rooftops. No matter how cruel or vicious they (the owner/s) are, no matter how bigoted or ignorant, most of it will never be learned of by the general public, by our guests and customers. If people don't know about the problem, there's nothing that can be done - and there is really no higher legal authority I can appeal to.

A week ago, there were some Indian folks using our facilities. By Indian, I mean people from India, not Native Americans. One of my co-workers mentioned "There are some Indians down in the pool right now, God, I can still smell them from here." I gave her a look that suggested her commentary had not found a receptive audience, but arguing with that sort of bigotry would have done me no good - management might have given her a slap on the wrist, but in reality, they have said even worse things.

So many things that, week by week, month by month, take a toll on my humanity and my overall self respect and confidence. What sort of man am I if I don't stand up for what I believe in? When I quietly permit this sort of thing to go on without objecting because I feel powerless to do anything about it, I encourage it, I enable it. Making a fuss and letting my true nature show would alienate management and I'm sure they could find some way to get rid of me. After all, it's a right to work state.

I'm getting to the point where I feel that I have to do something, or go crazy, or basically admit that I am a coward who believes more in security than in compassion. It's a very unpleasant feeling.

Rhiannon12866

(202,209 posts)
10. Wow! What a story...
Wed Jun 25, 2014, 01:55 AM
Jun 2014

And I think I have something in my eye. IMO, you did and are doing exactly the right thing. And Ned is lucky to have a kind friend like you in his corner.

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