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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsI won Guardianship in Court!! But Dad passed the next day anyway...
I am still numb. I am in shock a bit. I still can't believe he is gone.
My swashbuckling', chain smoking', go to hell confident and unrepentant liberal passed at noon last Friday.
Thursday was court, and my brother and sister were trying to get guardianship of him and his property, and then use that as an impetus to contest his will. Their flagrant attempt at a last minute money grab was *obvious* and it didn't get far.
They lost.
I was appointed guardian. I told Dad that we won. I stayed with him the night before and thanked him for being my Daddy. I told him that he helped me reconcile myself with the person behind my eyes, and it is a gift I will cherish always. I told him a lot of other things. I told him it was okay to let go, but I'd be rooting for him either way.
And then, because I know he wouldn't want me to see that, I left at 9 o'clock.
Dad died at noon. I called ten minutes later. The nurse told me he had "expired".
I still feel like he's going to walk through the front door and fix everything.
badtoworse
(5,957 posts)I hope you can heal whatever family wounds have been created. A good father would have wanted that very much.
elleng
(129,800 posts)and glad you won guardianship. That will likely help in dealing with the estate.
GentryDixon
(2,943 posts)You both fought a good fight. Peace to you.
nadinbrzezinski
(154,021 posts)cali
(114,904 posts)I wish you strength in dealing with your grief.
Siwsan
(26,125 posts)I was with my father when he died. I think he waiting until it was just the two of us. I think about and miss him every single day, and it's been 15 years.
Sometimes, when I'm really struggling with something, and a solution pops into my head, I wonder if it's him, still guiding me.
I'll keep you in my thoughts.
CaliforniaPeggy
(149,181 posts)He knew he could let go..........because of what had happened, and how you told him...
May he rest easy now...
TDale313
(7,820 posts)onecaliberal
(32,373 posts)MineralMan
(146,116 posts)seabeyond
(110,159 posts)in the future, as you process all this, it will mean so much to you.
take care of you, now.
handmade34
(22,753 posts)riderinthestorm
(23,272 posts)malaise
(267,465 posts)and you loved and took care of him.
It won't happen now as you grieve, but soon you'll be flooded with beautiful memories including the sound of his voice.
Drew Richards
(1,558 posts)The place....speaking from experience..
Talk to local precinct as well.
Drew.
csziggy
(34,115 posts)I lost my Dad last August. I tried to write more to you in this message and lost it.
Try to remember all the good times. And take care of yourself - your father would want that.
Skittles
(152,918 posts)you did all you could; be good to yourself
Xipe Totec
(43,866 posts)I want to die as the day declines,
at high sea and facing the sky,
while agony seems like a dream
and my soul like a bird that can fly.
To hear not, at this last moment,
once alone with sky and sea,
any more voices nor weeping prayers
than the majestic beating of the waves.
To die when the sad light retires
its golden network from the green waves
to be like the sun that slowly expires;
something very luminous that fades.
To die, and die young, before
fleeting time removes the gentle crown,
while life still says: "I'm yours"
though we know with our hearts that she lies.
stage left
(2,927 posts)It seems to me, that maybe your Dad knew you had things in hand and he could rest now from his long struggles. May you find peace.
Jay
Borchkins
(722 posts)I'm glad you were triumphant and that he could go peacefully.
RIP
B
iamthebandfanman
(8,127 posts)the amount of vultures that appear when someone passes away...
sorry your brother and sister felt a need to put you thru that :p
btw, what a weird cold response from the nurse..
surely there were kinder words then expire to use.. golly.
so sorry for your loss!
cate94
(2,795 posts)May your Dad RIP.
irisblue
(32,794 posts)and I am glad you got the guardianship.
DRoseDARs
(6,810 posts)He didn't want you agonizing over a defeat in court after his passing.
JI7
(89,151 posts)at least it did seem like he got some peaceful news at the end. you did good taking care of him.
livetohike
(22,062 posts)etherealtruth
(22,165 posts)Peacetrain
(22,836 posts)pnwmom
(108,915 posts)And for the trauma with your siblings, which makes things even worse.
I hope you have other loved ones and friends close by to support you now.
Raine1967
(11,589 posts)Through all of this, you stood for your dad. I am so sorry about his passing, but I am so happy that you were able to stay string enough to see he was taken care of.
You deserved the guardianship. You did, it is a tribute to how you took care of you dad.
MAy his passing be peaceful and I want you to know, I have a candle lit for you.
mopinko
(69,717 posts)hope i am so lucky one day.
:hugs:
Stargazer09
(2,131 posts)I'm sorry for your loss, especially after having to fight off your greedy siblings.
PosterChild
(1,307 posts)sheshe2
(83,138 posts)greatlaurel
(2,004 posts)The loss of a beloved parent is very difficult. Please be very kind to yourself after the ordeal you have been through. Your devotion and determination are an inspiration.
WillyT
(72,631 posts)Peace...
From one orphan to another, and to all our fellow orphans.
catbyte
(34,123 posts)LaydeeBug. I am so glad you wrested Guardianship from your very greedy-sounding siblings, and I am glad your dad knew you won before he passed. Money can be an awful thing. When my husband's dad died, the wicked witch he had married 6 months after my husband's (Chuck) mom died cheated Chuck out of his share of the estate. Even worse, within 3 days of his death, the Wicked Witch gave away all of Chuck's dad's belongings to some kid who was going to seminary school. He was also the nephew of a wealthy widower & a big shot at the church the Wicked Witch attended. Despicable. When Chuck protested, saying that they were his dad's things & there some items he wanted, the Wicked Witch--right in front of Chuck, his sister, and me--casually remarked, "Well, you were adopted. It's not like you were his real son." Chuck's sister said NOTHING, but I went postal on that POS. That was 17 years ago & Chuck has spoken to his sister twice. She wanted the money, which she got, but she lost her brother. Both times they've spoken, his sister initiated contact. After that betrayal, Chuck never wanted to speak to her again, and he esentially didn't.
Please accept this virtual hug and, again, my deepest condolences. You are a wonderful daughter & a wonderful person.
Cal Carpenter
(4,959 posts)MannyGoldstein
(34,589 posts)You've been such a caring person through this all.
You and your father were very lucky to have one-another.
Peace.
polly7
(20,582 posts)barbtries
(28,689 posts)laundry_queen
(8,646 posts)Huge hugs.
roguevalley
(40,656 posts)your papa and there is nothing greater than taking care of someone. Time is your friend here, honey. I hug and embrace both of you. Your papa is still with you. What makes you think that your father would ever leave you now?
He is there, just out of sight, holding you close. Hugs to both of you. You done good.
Mnemosyne
(21,363 posts)all of this for awhile now.
Ilsa
(61,656 posts)Unknown Beatle
(2,671 posts)Generic Other
(28,979 posts)Sounds like dad hung on for you at the end.
OneGrassRoot
(22,916 posts)words fail
babylonsister
(170,931 posts)LaydeeBug. And I'm glad you won guardianship. You will do what's right, and your siblings can just simmer.
tularetom
(23,664 posts)I'm going to meet with our attorney as soon as she returns from vacation and make certain that our wills are up to date. Then I'm going to take our brood out to dinner and explain the whole situation to them. advance medical directives, durable power of attorney, disposition of the estate, the whole nine yards. I'm certain that at least one of them will be less than thrilled with what they hear but I want them all to hear it from their mother and myself instead of each of them making their own interpretations.
I'll be thrilled if one of them turns out to be as good a daughter as you.
peace13
(11,076 posts)I understand what you are going through with your siblings. Stay strong. I had a similar situation with my sister. This kind of thing brings the true colors out. You father was lucky to have you on his side. It is the best feeling to know that someone has your back!
Take care and stay true to yourself.
panader0
(25,816 posts)hrmjustin
(71,265 posts)rustydog
(9,186 posts)My wife is in a similar situation with her father and his conniving greedy son. She lost her mother three years ago in a similar fashion as you lost your dad.
Thee difference is, she told her mom it was ok to let it go. She closed her eyes and passed away right then.
My thoughts go out to you.