I disagree with them, but it doesn't help to pretend they think like us.
Any discussion (debate, argument) needs to be on core beliefs, not on consequences of the beliefs. Their core belief is that aborting a fetus is the killing of a human life (even on day 1). Given that core belief, I would consider anti-abortionists to be monsters if they didn't fight to end abortion. I will argue with them on the core belief. I will argue with them on exemptions (rape, incest, etc) if they accept killing a human (by their definition) in those cases. But I won't argue that they should allow something that they sincerely believe is killing another human being.
The biggest problem I see in the discussions is that neither side listens to the other. One side thinks the other wants to kill babies. The other side thinks the other wants to control women. The fact is that neither side wants to kill babies, and neither side wants to control women's bodies (with exceptions in the fringe on both sides) but both sides will only frame the argument in a way based on their own beliefs and not discuss based on where the real difference is.