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TalkingDog

(9,001 posts) Wed Oct 21, 2015, 11:04 AM Oct 2015

Yes, All Women. Even 4 year olds.

http://blog.sfgate.com/sfmoms/2015/10/14/hospital-worker-tells-bullied-girl-i-bet-he-likes-you/

"I bet he likes you."

Dear man at the registration desk at Children's hospital, l'm positive that you didn't think that statement through. As soon as I heard it I knew that is where it begins. That statement is where the idea that hurting is flirting begins to set a tone for what is acceptable behavior. My four year old knows "That's not how we show we like someone. That was not a good choice."

In that moment, hurt and in a new place, worried about perhaps getting a shot or stitches you were a person we needed to help us and your words of comfort conveyed a message that someone who likes you might hurt you. No. I will not allow that message to be ok. I will not allow it to be louder than "That's not how we show we like each other." At that desk you are in a position of influence, whether you realize it or not. You thought you were making the moment lighter. It is time to take responsibility for the messages we as a society give our children. Do Not tell my 4 year old who needs stitches from a boy at school hitting her "I bet he likes you." NO.

3 replies

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Yes, All Women. Even 4 year olds. (Original Post) TalkingDog Oct 2015 OP

One of the reasons people react against the concept of "the patriarchy" is because it sounds so Brickbat Oct 2015 #1

K&R nt DLevine Oct 2015 #2

k and r--and yes, this is exactly how it begins. niyad Oct 2015 #3

Brickbat

(19,339 posts)

1. One of the reasons people react against the concept of "the patriarchy" is because it sounds so

Reply to TalkingDog (Original post)

Wed Oct 21, 2015, 11:11 AM

Oct 2015

ridiculous and extreme. But this blog post describes how insidious it is. We've been telling kids for generations that any attention is good attention, and that if someone hits you or pulls your hair or calls you names, he must like you. That approach hurts young girls because they're taught to not believe their own feelings and it hurts young boys because they aren't taught how to act on their feelings in a way that doesn't hurt people.

We do the same thing when we insist young children give hugs or kisses when they clearly don't want to, so their older relatives won't have their feelings hurt. What a terrible lesson to teach them.

DLevine

(1,788 posts)

2. K&R nt

Reply to TalkingDog (Original post)

Wed Oct 21, 2015, 11:25 AM

Oct 2015

niyad

(113,251 posts)

3. k and r--and yes, this is exactly how it begins.

Reply to TalkingDog (Original post)

Wed Oct 21, 2015, 01:37 PM

Oct 2015

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