Original:

Had I the heavens’ embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

Let me tell you: my ties are the best.
Forget these loser brands,
Mine are head and shoulders above the rest.
From now on wherever Air Force One lands,
I'm gonna make America look great again.
With my real hair and gorgeous tans;
Because I know how to negotiate,
And my ties are as big as my hands!

Sincere admiration.

Not for such hopes and fears

Annulling youth's brief years,

Do I remonstrate: folly wide the mark!

Rather I prize the doubt

Low kinds exist without,

Finished and finite clods, untroubled by a spark.

Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battlefield of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

Cry “Havoc!” and let slip the dogs of war,
That this foul deed shall smell above the earth
With carrion men, groaning for burial.

--Wm. Shakespeare, Julius Caesar, Act 3, Scene 1

Life's most persistent and urgent question is What are you doing for others? - MLK

that human affairs were being watched keenly and closely by intelligences greater than man's and yet as mortal as his own; that as men busied themselves about their affairs they were scrutinized and studied, perhaps almost as narrowly as a man with a microscope might scrutinize the transient creatures that swarm and multiply in a drop of water. With infinite complacency men went to and fro over this globe about their little affairs, serene in their assurance of their empire over matter.

"Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country." - JFK

Rec

I'll try:

What tree?

We're no strangers to love
You know the rules and so do I
A full commitment's what I'm thinking of
You wouldn't get this from any other guy

I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
Gotta make you understand

Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

Love is the One who masters all things;
I am mastered totally by Love.
By my passion of love for Love
I have ground sweet as sugar.
O furious Wind, I am only a straw before you;
How could I know where I will be blown next?
Whoever claims to have made a pact with Destiny
Reveals himself a liar and a fool;
What is any of us but a straw in a storm?
How could anyone make a pact with a hurricane?

crazy this guy is....

"Don't lend a hand, to raise no flag, atop no ship of fools".

I stole the title line cuz it was so perfect and funny so to create a sub category from DU'er Scootaloo, thanks.

Sometimes he is at least partially correct. You do have to do what you have to do in business sometimes. It is simple thought that without nuance, but....

Thanks!

Black as pit from pole to pole
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

William Ernest Henley

"Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio: a fellow
of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy: he hath
borne me on his back a thousand times; and now, how
abhorred in my imagination it is! my gorge rims at
it. Here hung those lips that I have kissed I know
not how oft. Where be your gibes now? your
gambols? your songs? your flashes of merriment,
that were wont to set the table on a roar? Not one
now, to mock your own grinning? quite chap-fallen?
Now get you to my lady’s chamber, and tell her, let
her paint an inch thick, to this favour she must
come; make her laugh at that."

I only have one request... Please, substitute Yorick with Rubio.

After all... It is the Ides.

"Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears;
I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him.
The evil that men do lives after them;
The good is oft interred with their bones;
So let it be with Caesar. The noble Brutus
Hath told you Caesar was ambitious:
If it were so, it was a grievous fault,
And grievously hath Caesar answer’d it.
Here, under leave of Brutus and the rest–
For Brutus is an honourable man;
So are they all, all honourable men–
Come I to speak in Caesar’s funeral.
He was my friend, faithful and just to me:
But Brutus says he was ambitious;
And Brutus is an honourable man.
He hath brought many captives home to Rome
Whose ransoms did the general coffers fill:
Did this in Caesar seem ambitious?
When that the poor have cried, Caesar hath wept:
Ambition should be made of sterner stuff:
Yet Brutus says he was ambitious;
And Brutus is an honourable man.
You all did see that on the Lupercal
I thrice presented him a kingly crown,
Which he did thrice refuse: was this ambition?
Yet Brutus says he was ambitious;
And, sure, he is an honourable man.
I speak not to disprove what Brutus spoke,
But here I am to speak what I do know.
You all did love him once, not without cause:
What cause withholds you then, to mourn for him?
O judgment! thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason. Bear with me;
My heart is in the coffin there with Caesar,
And I must pause till it come back to me."

...and to Make Him Great Again. Caesar was a great guy - of course he was a great guy, he was just like me! And everyone has a bad deal or two, but overall he was great, a great man, a great legend. But Brutus, him and his friend killed Caesar, and they're low energy losers. Look at them over there, skulking! Get 'em out of here! Get 'em out of here, keep his toga! We need to bury Caesar and build a wall around his tomb to keep him great, and I've got great ideas on making Caesar's Tomb great and making Rome great again. Caesar would tell you, Caesar would say, he used to say to me, "Donaldus, Donaldus if something ever happens to me, you make sure Rome stays great and you get those low-energy publicans the hell out of there!". So who here was with Caesar? Who's with me? Who wants to make Rome great? I do, WE do, let's make Rome great again!"

Something like that, I'd wager.

Haha!

I can't believe these people, they won't shut up. Is that Bernius? Berrrnius, Berrrnius! Get him out of here! Get him out of here! I remember the good old days when we'd crucify protesters.

My friends, good people of Rome. We have the best people in Rome, don't we? And we're going to build that wall in Britannia! And we're going to make the Picts pay for it! That's right! But Caesar, anyway, Caesar. He was a complete loser. Worst emperor ever. We lost under Caesar. We lost everything. We lost to the Gauls, we lost to the Icenni, we lost all the time. And we have the greatest legions in the world! They're great, aren't they? And I'm going to make Rome great again. So this loser Caesar. He lost to all these people, and he lost to Egypt. He let a woman yank him around. Cleopatra. Beautiful woman. One of the great beauties. If she wasn't dead, I'd probably be dating Cleopatra. But little Julius couldn't handle her. He couldn't handle her! These hands, they could handle Cleopatra. These hands, they can throw a pilum across the Coliseum! But little Julius lost at everything. He's a loser after death. Total loser. My friend, my very good friend, Brutus said that little Julius was terrible. You know my friend Brutus? He's great. Brutus is great. A total winner. Brutus has the most captives, the most captives ever! And Brutus came to me with these captives, and we got the most money for them. The most money. I bankrupted Carthage. That's why they don't exist any more. I bankrupted Carthage, and now they don't exist. So this loser Caesar, he kept crying about the poor in Carthage. I said so what? We need jobs in Rome! And we're gonna get the best jobs in Rome, right? Right? We're going to take back our empire. We're going to take back our empire, and we're going to build that wall in Britannia and who's gonna pay for it? That's right, the Picts! But anyway, little Julius, little Julius, he used to be loved. Used to be loved. But then he was a loser, and he got it right in the back. Because little Julius was weak. That's not gonna happen here! Not gonna happen here! So now there's little Julius in his little coffin, and I gotta say, I don't feel sorry for him. Because he was a loser. Total loser. I'm here to bury the total loser. Only an idiot would praise him. He couldn't even build aqueducts. He couldn't build the aqueducts. And now we have lead in the aqueducts. We'll have the greatest people, we'll get them to build the best aqueducts. And we'll get all the captives, and get ransom for them, and that will pay for the aqueducts. We'll get their ransom, and we'll fix our trade with Egypt. You know, Egypt has been very smart. Very smart. They've been beating us. Egypt has been beating us, and we'll send the best negotiators in. We'll send Brutus into Egypt, and he'll get all the captives, and we'll make Egypt change their trade, and we'll win again. I'm working for you. I'm self-funding my campaign. I've bought all the Praetorians. I have all the Praetorians. They love me! The Praetorians love me! And I'm self-funding my campaign. I have many, many billions of aurii. And they are made of the best gold, the best gold. I have many billions of denarii, too. They came from all of the Trumpus steaks. Made from the best aurochs ever. The best aurochs ever. And I've bought all the Praetorians, and we're gonna win, and we're gonna keep winning, and we'll take our empire back, and we'll have the greatest empire! We'll make Rome great again!

“And Lot's wife, of course, was told not to look back where all those people and their homes had been. But she did look back, and I love her for that, because it was so human. So she was turned into a pillar of salt. So it goes.”

From Slaughterhouse Five

(I remember)
Standing, by the wall
And the guns, shot above our heads
And we kissed, as though nothing could fall
And the shame, was on the other side
Oh, we can beat them, forever and ever
Then we could be heroes, just for one day

- D. Bowie

Your turn GreatGazoo.

Brilliant.

Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

“Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!”

He took his vorpal sword in hand;
Long time the manxome foe he sought—
So rested he by the Tumtum tree
And stood awhile in thought.

And, as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.

“And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!”
He chortled in his joy.

’Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

Jabberwocky, by Lewis Carroll

It was brilliant. Brilliant. All those slimy trolls. Get them out of here!

I won again. I was brilliant. And I will reopen Abu Gahrab. Or make it bigger. Yuuuuge. Or whatever.

Beware the Rubio guy jabbering about my cock. Just look at my hands! And my son's! Meghan Kelly's jaws bite. But I won't get into that again today! Bleeding from her furious eyes. Or wherever.

Hey, did I say anything offensive? No way. Everyone's too politically correct. I need Tums from the Tumtum tree. Oops! I mean Trumptums. We have them here! Buy them!

And as for those thugs. They smell bad. Take a whiff. And buy my Trump Air Freshener. We have some here! We also have Trump Snicker Snacks. They're like Snickers. But I can't say that here. They're better than Snickers. They're Trump Snicker Snacks. Made by Chinese workers. They make 30 cents a day. They love me in China. It's all here. Along with my magazine. Trump Magazine. Harrumph!

So, as I was 'splainin. It's a fabulous day. I'm chortling.

I'm brilliant. As I said. We're here among the orange groves. In Florida. They love me here. The orange pickers, they love me. I'll deport them. They'll build our wall. I'll make them pay for it! All the mimsy namby pampas. They're in the groves. And at the moment the rats are out grabbing. Get them out of here! I love you. We'll make america great again!

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of being and ideal grace.

"I am loath to close. We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained it must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic chords of memory, stretching from every battlefield and patriot grave to every living heart and hearthstone all over this broad land, will yet swell the chorus of the Union, when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature."

Not with a bang but a whimper.

This world. It's a great world, isn't it? And it's been a great world, but now it's gonna end. It's gonna end because we don't win. We never win! And so now, the world, the world, it's gonna end. But it won't end with a bang! It should end with a bang. Because bangs are great! We love our bangs, don't we? Bangs are great! And we used to be great. But we're not great anymore. We're not great. So we'll end with a whimper. Could have been a bang! If I was in charge of the world, it would be the biggest bang ever! I could have made it a YUGE bang. But it's not, so it will be a whimper. Worst ever ending. With a whimper, I tell you. Just terrible.

Last edited Sun Mar 20, 2016, 11:15 AM - Edit history (1)

She has no time for birth control
And that is why in times like these
There are so many sons of bees

... (bababadalgharaghtakamminarronnkonnbronntonner-
ronntuonnthunntrovarrhounawnskawntoohoohoordenenthur-
nuk!) of a once wallstrait oldparr is retaled early in bed and later
on life down through all christian minstrelsy. The great fall of the
offwall entailed at such short notice the pftjschute of Finnegan,
erse solid man, that the humptyhillhead of humself prumptly sends
an unquiring one well to the west in quest of his tumptytumtoes:
and their upturnpikepointandplace is at the knock out in the park
where oranges have been laid to rust upon the green since
devlinsfirst loved livvy.