General Discussion

KamaAina

(78,249 posts) Sun Aug 7, 2016, 07:54 PM Aug 2016

Trans performer: NYC gay bar staff kicked me out for using women’s restroom

http://www.lgbtqnation.com/2016/08/nyc-gay-bar-staff-kicks-trans-performer-using-womens-restroom/

A transgender performer says she was kicked out of a New York City gay bar Friday night after a cisgender women objected to her presence in the women’s restroom.

Valentine Steaphon, who was at Boots and Saddle to support a friend who was performing, says a security guard told her that the cisgender woman’s comfort was more important than her right to use the bathroom.

“We cater to straight women here,” Steaphon recalls the guard saying, in an interview with Mic, “and if you’re in the women’s restroom and she’s uncomfortable, you’re the problem, you can’t be in there.”

New York protects the right of transgender people to use the restroom that corresponds with their gender. (Steaphon identifies as trans-genderqueer and uses she and he pronouns.) And gay bars have long had the unspoken rule that all of the restrooms are for everyone. Boots and Saddle, in a response posted to Facebook, say they’re restrooms have always been effectively gender neutral — a fact they’ll make more clear going forward.

When did NYC join North Carolina?

13 replies

= new reply since forum marked as read

Highlight:

Trans performer: NYC gay bar staff kicked me out for using women’s restroom (Original Post) KamaAina Aug 2016 OP

Sounds like at least two people thought.... whistler162 Aug 2016 #1

“We cater to straight women here,” JI7 Aug 2016 #2

I know. cwydro Aug 2016 #3

Many straight women love gay bars FrodosPet Aug 2016 #4

yeah, but it's odd if they expect things to conform to how they want JI7 Aug 2016 #5

Many drunken bachlorette parties end up at gay bars, it seems to be a thing. m-lekktor Aug 2016 #9

Instant "tolerance" cred FrodosPet Aug 2016 #10

As GLBT has become more mainstream, many gay bars are struggling Ex Lurker Aug 2016 #6

i can understand that but it shouldn't include catering to bigot straight women JI7 Aug 2016 #7

This isn't what I would call a gay bar. LuvNewcastle Aug 2016 #8

Headline is a lie oberliner Aug 2016 #11

ah, so random douchebag makes up story to get their name out there and maybe a gofundme snooper2 Aug 2016 #12

Well, I think the person (and/or the news source) altered the story a bit for clicks/publicity oberliner Aug 2016 #13

whistler162

(11,155 posts)

1. Sounds like at least two people thought....

Reply to KamaAina (Original post)

Sun Aug 7, 2016, 08:21 PM

Aug 2016

Boots and Saddle was a Redneck C&W bar.

JI7

(89,247 posts)

2. “We cater to straight women here,”

Reply to KamaAina (Original post)

Sun Aug 7, 2016, 08:32 PM

Aug 2016

I thought this was a gay bar

cwydro

(51,308 posts)

3. I know.

Reply to JI7 (Reply #2)

Sun Aug 7, 2016, 08:40 PM

Aug 2016

This makes no sense or the article was very poorly written.

FrodosPet

(5,169 posts)

4. Many straight women love gay bars

Reply to JI7 (Reply #2)

Sun Aug 7, 2016, 09:59 PM

Aug 2016

They see it as a safe spot where they can be wild and rowdy and touch guys inappropriately who won't get excited by it.

However, the gay men don't always return the love.

http://thetab.com/uk/durham/2015/04/02/straight-people-get-gay-clubs-18190

JI7

(89,247 posts)

5. yeah, but it's odd if they expect things to conform to how they want

Reply to FrodosPet (Reply #4)

Sun Aug 7, 2016, 11:34 PM

Aug 2016

if this is a gay bar and to explain the reasoning on the restroom issue by saying "we cater to straight women".

m-lekktor

(3,675 posts)

9. Many drunken bachlorette parties end up at gay bars, it seems to be a thing.

Reply to FrodosPet (Reply #4)

Mon Aug 8, 2016, 09:54 AM

Aug 2016

They often behave like patronizing assholes, treating the gay folks like exotic/amusing curiosities. My friends who work at the bars complain about this on facebook all the time.

FrodosPet

(5,169 posts)

10. Instant "tolerance" cred

Reply to m-lekktor (Reply #9)

Mon Aug 8, 2016, 10:04 AM

Aug 2016

Almost like a "Get out of bigotry accusations free" card.

Ex Lurker

(3,813 posts)

6. As GLBT has become more mainstream, many gay bars are struggling

Reply to JI7 (Reply #2)

Mon Aug 8, 2016, 01:36 AM

Aug 2016

so they have to expand their clientele or go out of business.

JI7

(89,247 posts)

7. i can understand that but it shouldn't include catering to bigot straight women

Reply to Ex Lurker (Reply #6)

Mon Aug 8, 2016, 01:38 AM

Aug 2016

LuvNewcastle

(16,844 posts)

8. This isn't what I would call a gay bar.

Reply to KamaAina (Original post)

Mon Aug 8, 2016, 04:36 AM

Aug 2016

it just looks like a bar for straight women to go hang out with their gay friends. I don't think this would have happened in any gay bar I've been to, and I've been to quite a few.

oberliner

(58,724 posts)

11. Headline is a lie

Reply to KamaAina (Original post)

Mon Aug 8, 2016, 10:14 AM

Aug 2016

This person was not kicked out for using the women's restroom.

Statement from the establishment (from the article)

Now that we have finished conferring with eye witnesses and reviewed security footage we can say without any holds this was NOT an issue of any gender using a restroom.

This was simply a matter of two customers fighting in the middle of the Establishment and disturbing the peace. Both of which were removed.

Unfortunately one of the parties involved decided to post an inaccurate account of what happened on Facebook and the rest is Internet history.

The person in question does not dispute being thrown out due to the loud argument.

snooper2

(30,151 posts)

12. ah, so random douchebag makes up story to get their name out there and maybe a gofundme

Reply to oberliner (Reply #11)

Mon Aug 8, 2016, 10:24 AM

Aug 2016

Actually a little surprised the truth came out so quickly. Didn't even have a chance to get that 4 minute interview on the local news!

oberliner

(58,724 posts)

13. Well, I think the person (and/or the news source) altered the story a bit for clicks/publicity

Reply to snooper2 (Reply #12)

Mon Aug 8, 2016, 10:34 AM

Aug 2016

It is certainly possible that this person was yelled at by a patron for using the ladies room, and it's possible that the staff at the club sided with the woman rather than this individual. And it's possible that this person was justified in getting angry and fighting with the woman.

But the person was not kicked out of the club for using the restroom and does not even claim that they were.

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