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packman

(16,296 posts)
Wed Aug 24, 2016, 09:17 AM Aug 2016

Let's Pretend - Where do you stand? - Open carry vs. ???

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You walk into a grocery store and see two men carrying weapons OR you walk into a public building and see someone covered from head to toe in black - What do you do? Explain, if you will your choice.

IMHO neither has a place in today's society.

65 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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Let's Pretend - Where do you stand? - Open carry vs. ??? (Original Post) packman Aug 2016 OP
I immediately leave the grocery store with the open carry fools. sinkingfeeling Aug 2016 #1
This message was self-deleted by its author Orrex Aug 2016 #2
I think they are both examples of insecure men. KeepItReal Aug 2016 #3
Not bothered by either in most cases whatthehey Aug 2016 #4
The women are not dressed to threaten or to look dangerous Fresh_Start Aug 2016 #5
Old habits. Orrex Aug 2016 #7
I see what you did there. NaturalHigh Aug 2016 #9
I see no reason why anyone should open carry in a civilized society. MrScorpio Aug 2016 #6
Open carry is debateabale. Until religion keeps its nose out of policy making, criticize it I will. cleanhippie Aug 2016 #23
Someone dressed in black has no place in today's society? NaturalHigh Aug 2016 #8
HEY, I LOVED JOHNNY CASH packman Aug 2016 #10
The Man In Black was one of the earliest Goths Runningdawg Aug 2016 #42
I immediately leave upon seeing the firearm. LanternWaste Aug 2016 #11
At least the Burka isn't an implicit threat to shoot people. DetlefK Aug 2016 #12
Eye both groups/subjects with interest and a bit of suspicion. jmg257 Aug 2016 #13
I don't see a problem with either. ileus Aug 2016 #14
I don't see it as an either/or situation. world wide wally Aug 2016 #15
Should I see weapons displayed Sherman A1 Aug 2016 #16
I'd rather see weapons in site rather then concealed yeoman6987 Aug 2016 #34
I assume civilian open carriers are looking for altercations and overt intimidation. Paladin Aug 2016 #62
The rifles make me apprehensive True Dough Aug 2016 #17
IMO, carrying a gun in public MUST involve it being securely strapped into a holster... KittyWampus Aug 2016 #18
I know you know that those aren't automatic rifles, as automatic rifles are illegal. cleanhippie Aug 2016 #24
Whatever the f*ck you want to call them. MY point remains, unholstered guns are too dangerous KittyWampus Aug 2016 #31
Lol. It's obvious that you really have no idea how gun work at all. cleanhippie Aug 2016 #33
Excuse me? KittyWampus Aug 2016 #40
Any adult with a clean record can own an automatic rifle. Kaleva Aug 2016 #58
I occasionally see women wearing complete burkas, when I shop, and I don't even raise an eyebrow Siwsan Aug 2016 #19
Okay. LWolf Aug 2016 #20
They present a clear and present danger? To whom and in what way? cleanhippie Aug 2016 #25
To anyone within range, of course. LWolf Aug 2016 #26
Post removed Post removed Aug 2016 #28
Nope. LWolf Aug 2016 #30
And yet you seem irrationally afraid of an inanimate object. cleanhippie Aug 2016 #32
She's Afraid Of The Object? ProfessorGAC Aug 2016 #41
Confusing concern as fear is the first of many flaws in your argument LanternWaste Aug 2016 #44
An inanimate object... tonedevil Aug 2016 #56
Not at all. LWolf Aug 2016 #60
Unless lawwolf Aug 2016 #52
OK, so "wearing" a gun is the same as wearing a New York Knicks shirt. SwissTony Aug 2016 #59
Look at LWolf Aug 2016 #61
I ignore them and continue on my business. nt hack89 Aug 2016 #21
A burka isn't an implicit threat to my life. A gun is. baldguy Aug 2016 #22
Unless DustyJoe Aug 2016 #48
Stoking baseless RW fears of "the other" still offers no excuse for carrying a firearm in public. baldguy Aug 2016 #63
not the issue DustyJoe Aug 2016 #64
It is the issue. Fearful bigoted cowards want to equate the two - open carry guns & burkas. baldguy Aug 2016 #65
Clothing is not designed to kill people. Iggo Aug 2016 #27
Not sure why these are together ismnotwasm Aug 2016 #29
Another false equivalency. procon Aug 2016 #35
I'd bolt if I saw the guns. a la izquierda Aug 2016 #36
If Trump gets elected True Dough Aug 2016 #46
Here's the thing radical noodle Aug 2016 #37
The question is coupled with pictures meant to play on stereotypes. Sorry. Not Playing! n/t Honest.Dem Aug 2016 #38
Welcome to the DU, Honest.Dem! True Dough Aug 2016 #47
If you feel the need to carry a gun like that in public, then you have mental issues. Exilednight Aug 2016 #39
I have never seen a woman in a burka in Tulsa Runningdawg Aug 2016 #43
Carrying guns? HockeyMom Aug 2016 #45
I would say it depends sarisataka Aug 2016 #49
The rifles are a puzzle DustyJoe Aug 2016 #50
Let's face it - Moms don't want their kids in grocery stores asiliveandbreathe Aug 2016 #51
I fear neither one. GOLGO 13 Aug 2016 #53
I hate Burqas HerrKarlMarx Aug 2016 #54
I...shop. Shandris Aug 2016 #55
Soooooooo many variables go into my analysis of the situations.... Whiskeytide Aug 2016 #57

sinkingfeeling

(51,444 posts)
1. I immediately leave the grocery store with the open carry fools.
Wed Aug 24, 2016, 09:19 AM
Aug 2016

I speak to the women in black and start a conversation

Response to packman (Original post)

whatthehey

(3,660 posts)
4. Not bothered by either in most cases
Wed Aug 24, 2016, 09:20 AM
Aug 2016

Are the former belligerent and reaching for weapons? If not who cares? Are the latter in a place where identification is important such as a flight check in or trial? If not who cares?

Fresh_Start

(11,330 posts)
5. The women are not dressed to threaten or to look dangerous
Wed Aug 24, 2016, 09:20 AM
Aug 2016

I don't care that they are covered up...I grew up with nuns which barely showed more flesh that the muslim women pictured.

MrScorpio

(73,630 posts)
6. I see no reason why anyone should open carry in a civilized society.
Wed Aug 24, 2016, 09:22 AM
Aug 2016

I also see no reason why I need to criticize anyone's religious beliefs in a country with freedom of religion.

That is pretty much that.

cleanhippie

(19,705 posts)
23. Open carry is debateabale. Until religion keeps its nose out of policy making, criticize it I will.
Wed Aug 24, 2016, 11:16 AM
Aug 2016

ideas should be criticized. That how we seaport ate good ideas from bad ones. Religion is an idea and is rightly criticized considering the harm it does in the world. Until believers learn how to keep their personal beliefs to themselves and out of public policy making, it will be criticized harshly. And rightly so.

 

LanternWaste

(37,748 posts)
11. I immediately leave upon seeing the firearm.
Wed Aug 24, 2016, 09:29 AM
Aug 2016

I immediately leave upon seeing the firearm. In regards to the garments, as clothing doesn't increase the probability for an fatal accident in my proximity, I give it no thought, no reaction nor no judgement... (unless someone is wearing parachute pants or sandals... then there's a wee bit of unjustified judgement on my part).

jmg257

(11,996 posts)
13. Eye both groups/subjects with interest and a bit of suspicion.
Wed Aug 24, 2016, 09:34 AM
Aug 2016

Hopefully determine they are not a threat, and move along.

Sherman A1

(38,958 posts)
16. Should I see weapons displayed
Wed Aug 24, 2016, 10:17 AM
Aug 2016

I would leave, should I see the other depicted, I would continue looking for the crackers which are on the shopping list.

 

yeoman6987

(14,449 posts)
34. I'd rather see weapons in site rather then concealed
Wed Aug 24, 2016, 11:56 AM
Aug 2016

At least I know what is going on rather then someone who has it hidden and takes it out quickly without warning.

Paladin

(28,246 posts)
62. I assume civilian open carriers are looking for altercations and overt intimidation.
Wed Aug 24, 2016, 08:49 PM
Aug 2016

Really unhealthy thought processes at work. The only positive aspect of open carry is how shitty it makes the pro-gun movement look.

True Dough

(17,295 posts)
17. The rifles make me apprehensive
Wed Aug 24, 2016, 10:17 AM
Aug 2016

I don't think I'd leave the store but I'd be wary. As a Canadian, I'm not accustomed to seeing weapons like that on display in public. Occasionally while travelling to foreign countries, I've encountered soldiers on guard with such firearms and it always gives me pause. "There must be a threat significant enough that a high-powered, semi-automatic rifle is needed. Hmm."

Actually, when I was going through security at Edmonton International Airport recently there was a police officer with a carbine and I was taken aback. It's not unusual to see a cop stationed in the airport, sometimes it's even reassuring, but to have one with a rifle in hand in a Canadian airport was odd. I wondered if a terror threat existed and the public just hadn't been informed.

As for the burkas, they don't make me hesitant. I do question whether the women wear them willingly or whether they feel coerced to do so by the men in their lives. It would be a shame if it's the latter. No woman -- no free person, for that matter -- should be required to dress against her or his will.

 

KittyWampus

(55,894 posts)
18. IMO, carrying a gun in public MUST involve it being securely strapped into a holster...
Wed Aug 24, 2016, 10:22 AM
Aug 2016

Those idiots with the automatic rifles- there is no way of knowing whether they are loaded and/or locked.

An accidental misfire could too easily kill or maim an innocent bystander. Requiring all gun carriers be required to secure their firearm into a proper holster would limit the potential damage.

And if a gun is too big or unwieldily to holster (like those automatic rifles in the OP pix) then they absolutely should not be carried in public spaces where there is no organized sporting event or hunting going on.

Let the gun industry come up with a way to secure those rifles on the carrier's body and I'd probably be okay with it.

On Edit- Oh, look. A simple search shows that there already scabbard for those rifles. They should be required for anyone carrying in public.


cleanhippie

(19,705 posts)
24. I know you know that those aren't automatic rifles, as automatic rifles are illegal.
Wed Aug 24, 2016, 11:17 AM
Aug 2016

Please, stop with the misinformation and fear mongering.

 

KittyWampus

(55,894 posts)
31. Whatever the f*ck you want to call them. MY point remains, unholstered guns are too dangerous
Wed Aug 24, 2016, 11:42 AM
Aug 2016

for public spaces. Especially in close areas like stores where adults/children/animals might knock against something and the gun misfire.

 

KittyWampus

(55,894 posts)
40. Excuse me?
Wed Aug 24, 2016, 12:35 PM
Aug 2016
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unintentional_discharge_(firearms)

On occasion, an accidental discharge can occur by means other than the finger pulling the trigger, such as dropping a loaded weapon. Because of this possibility, most currently produced pistols are designed with a "drop-safety" or firing pin block, a mechanism inhibiting or isolating the firing pin, preventing accidental discharge if the firearm is dropped. However, most long guns do not have drop- safeties.

Prevention of dropped-firearm ADs with long guns therefore depends on the user being familiar with the precautions needed for that particular gun: it is standard practice for all long-gun users to unload the firearm's chamber before any activity that might foreseeably result in a dropped firearm (e.g., climbing a fence while hunting), and before placing the firearm in a vehicle (where sudden deceleration may cause the firearm to act as if dropped).

Accidental discharges not involving trigger-pull can also occur if the firearm is mechanically unsound: poor maintenance, abuse, inept "gunsmithing," or the use of substandard materials or defective ammunition in the gun may all lead to breakage.

Siwsan

(26,255 posts)
19. I occasionally see women wearing complete burkas, when I shop, and I don't even raise an eyebrow
Wed Aug 24, 2016, 10:38 AM
Aug 2016

I smile at them and nod, just like I do to everyone else.

I've never seen anyone openly carrying a fire arm in any of the stores I frequent, but if I ever do, I find the manager and tell them why I'm leaving without buying anything, and give them my cart so they could restock the goods.

LWolf

(46,179 posts)
20. Okay.
Wed Aug 24, 2016, 10:57 AM
Aug 2016

1. I leave the grocery store. Those weapons represent a clear and present danger.

2. I continue on about my business, since what people choose to wear does not threaten me.

LWolf

(46,179 posts)
26. To anyone within range, of course.
Wed Aug 24, 2016, 11:22 AM
Aug 2016

People who feel so threatened that they think they need assault rifles in public...people who see guns as a legitimate response to conflict...those aren't people I want to be within range of if something triggers their fear.

Response to LWolf (Reply #26)

LWolf

(46,179 posts)
30. Nope.
Wed Aug 24, 2016, 11:38 AM
Aug 2016

You see, cleanhippie, which, if I may say so, is an entertainingly ironic name, I am NOT afraid of the public. That's why I don't feel like I need to go armed.

What are the reasons for wanting to carry assault weapons into a grocery store:

1. You are afraid of the world.

2. You have no skills other than "shoot it" for dealing with conflict.

3. You have a political point to make, and you don't give a fuck who your point threatens. In my pov, that's an arrogant, unsafe ass.

My mirror shows me a grandmother who isn't afraid to walk around in public in the midst of people without a weapon.

cleanhippie

(19,705 posts)
32. And yet you seem irrationally afraid of an inanimate object.
Wed Aug 24, 2016, 11:49 AM
Aug 2016

I agree, people that carry rifles like that are stupid, but your fear is irrational. You said yourself you would leave the area immediately, yet now you say you're not afraid to walk among them.

ProfessorGAC

(64,951 posts)
41. She's Afraid Of The Object?
Wed Aug 24, 2016, 12:38 PM
Aug 2016

That doesn't even make sense. Her post clearly said she was concerned (not fearful) of people who feel the need to go around visibly packing heat.

Your reply doesn't remotely connect with her point.

 

LanternWaste

(37,748 posts)
44. Confusing concern as fear is the first of many flaws in your argument
Wed Aug 24, 2016, 12:43 PM
Aug 2016

Confusing concern as fear is the first of many flaws in your argument, as the two are wholly separate concepts with different meanings (they are also spelled differently-- which may assist you further in understanding their differences).

I do understand however, the desire to conflate the two words in such a way as to better validate your own biases and minimize others-- it's human nature.

 

tonedevil

(3,022 posts)
56. An inanimate object...
Wed Aug 24, 2016, 03:08 PM
Aug 2016

Capable of causing injury or death being controled by an obviously unstable dangerous human. It makes a lot of difference even if you can't discern it.

LWolf

(46,179 posts)
60. Not at all.
Wed Aug 24, 2016, 08:35 PM
Aug 2016

It's not fear.

It's a common sense distrust of the humans carrying the weapons. I don't trust them; it comes automatically. I don't trust anyone who thinks guns are an appropriate response to conflict. I don't trust them to be sensible in the face of an unexpected conflict.

lawwolf

(58 posts)
52. Unless
Wed Aug 24, 2016, 02:18 PM
Aug 2016

Unless what they choose to wear is a gun hung over their shoulder, then what they wear does apparently threaten you.

LWolf

(46,179 posts)
61. Look at
Wed Aug 24, 2016, 08:36 PM
Aug 2016

the reasons I posted above for doing so, and tell me if there is another reason that I'm missing that would indicate logic, common sense, and automatic responsibility.

 

baldguy

(36,649 posts)
63. Stoking baseless RW fears of "the other" still offers no excuse for carrying a firearm in public.
Wed Aug 24, 2016, 10:18 PM
Aug 2016

DustyJoe

(849 posts)
64. not the issue
Thu Aug 25, 2016, 11:07 AM
Aug 2016

Nothing to do with open carry in public, but disguising possible intentions.

There's a reason you can't wear sunglasses, cap, hijab into a bank.

The op made the comparison of rifles in the open and full concealing burkas.

 

baldguy

(36,649 posts)
65. It is the issue. Fearful bigoted cowards want to equate the two - open carry guns & burkas.
Thu Aug 25, 2016, 06:30 PM
Aug 2016

And the idea that open carry guns is preferable is an exercise in evil RW absurdity.

ismnotwasm

(41,971 posts)
29. Not sure why these are together
Wed Aug 24, 2016, 11:29 AM
Aug 2016

A woman wearing a Niqab reresents something far different than open carry.

I see these women all the time, it part of their spiritual/religious conditioning. I see them walking at parks with their children or at at stores. They neither frighten nor bother me--although I certainly have opinions on how all cultures, including western culture, try to exploit or control women's bodies.

When I see someone with an obvious gun--like one of my nephews, I think "what an insecure dumbass". Anyone who thinks they need to "open carry" an assault rifle, which I don't see in my area, is probably attempting to make some sort of point about gun "rights". And they still look like insecure dumbasses.

I'm not going to "do" anything, if you mean confront these people.

procon

(15,805 posts)
35. Another false equivalency.
Wed Aug 24, 2016, 12:16 PM
Aug 2016

Why are there all these crazy, imaginary scenarios to try and justify bringing loaded weapons into public spaces?

What am I supposed to be afraid of in looking at the photo on the right? Women in traditional clothing, their race, gender, ethnicity or religion, none of which pose any threat or danger to me. At best they would be a passing curiosity, and I would simply nod or smile at them and go about my business.

On the other hand, if I encountered two armed men carrying long guns with lots of ammo in a store I would be afraid for my safety and I would get away from them as quickly as possible and call 9/11 so the police will check them out. Its not my job to determine why they have brought loaded weapons into a public setting, but since they chose to act out in that manner, I would see them as mentally unstable and incapable of making sound judgement calls or reasonable decisions.

a la izquierda

(11,791 posts)
36. I'd bolt if I saw the guns.
Wed Aug 24, 2016, 12:21 PM
Aug 2016

And I have. I live in a state in which you can carry your stupid guns around (concealed or otherwise) without a license. I cannot wait to move (to Canada, hopefully).

On the other hand, there are a number of fully veiled Muslim women in my town. I don't even give them a second look.

True Dough

(17,295 posts)
46. If Trump gets elected
Wed Aug 24, 2016, 01:08 PM
Aug 2016

I'll take you out for dinner if you wind up in my part of the vast Canadian prairie!

radical noodle

(8,000 posts)
37. Here's the thing
Wed Aug 24, 2016, 12:23 PM
Aug 2016

My husband has lots of guns, so I am not afraid of them as such, but he has taught me that there are plenty of people walking around with guns who are not necessarily responsible or careful and should therefore view them as people to stay away from. He believes smart gun owners conceal carry rather than open carry. He knows a lot more about it than I do, so I listen to him.

As for the Burqa, my aunt lived for many years in Saudi Arabia and she became good friends with many women there who wore a Burqa. They were intelligent, sophisticated women who wore them in public only and didn't seem bothered by the practice. I don't judge that decision. Once again I defer to someone who knows and choose to treat them simply as other women rather than judging them by their clothing.

Exilednight

(9,359 posts)
39. If you feel the need to carry a gun like that in public, then you have mental issues.
Wed Aug 24, 2016, 12:31 PM
Aug 2016

If you own a gun and have mental issues, then you're not safe to be around.

Runningdawg

(4,514 posts)
43. I have never seen a woman in a burka in Tulsa
Wed Aug 24, 2016, 12:41 PM
Aug 2016

I see plenty of open-carry. Neither bothers me. Now, if the 2 were to show up at the same place at the same time, I would be looking for an exit.

 

HockeyMom

(14,337 posts)
45. Carrying guns?
Wed Aug 24, 2016, 01:02 PM
Aug 2016

I would leave the premises and tell the establishment why I was leaving. If I don't want to be with my own husband carrying, why would I want to be around some stranger?

People dressed all black? lol New York City dressed all in Black? Black is the City Dress Code, or maybe she is just an Italian Widow? I like wearing black myself as a NY Native, and still do sometimes even living in Florida, of course, minus a gun.

sarisataka

(18,539 posts)
49. I would say it depends
Wed Aug 24, 2016, 01:35 PM
Aug 2016

as pictured, I would simply go about my business.

If their actions seemed unusual, like taking the rifles from underneath their clothes or pulling out a switch with wires going up their sleeves, I would probably leave. That course of action sufficed for many months in a country where nearly all women dressed as such and had a much greater chance of having the desire to harm me than here.

If I was at the grocery store I would approach the men and say 'seriously, just be cause you can do something doesn't mean you should do something.'

I tend to worry more about what people are actually doing than what they might possibly do.

DustyJoe

(849 posts)
50. The rifles are a puzzle
Wed Aug 24, 2016, 01:40 PM
Aug 2016

I live in NM that has always been open carry. In my 62 yrs living here in a pretty rural area have only seen a few pistols in holsters. I have never seen anything like picture in the OP. During bird season you might see a shotgun carrying dove hunter on a rural road. I understand a pistol on your hip for protection, those rifles especially slung the way they are are pretty useless for protection access in my belief. The only possible reason I see (and I am a gun owner) to carry the array of weaponry pictured in public is akin to two idiots in hot cars at a light revving their engines to prove who's the biggest n baddest. I am a believer in concealed carry for self protection and have never carried openly even though I could.

asiliveandbreathe

(8,203 posts)
51. Let's face it - Moms don't want their kids in grocery stores
Wed Aug 24, 2016, 01:58 PM
Aug 2016

with gun slingers....it is as easy as that..after 20 years, at a Kroger last week in AZ my first experience with a jerk wearing a holstered gun...last time will go to Kroger based on their gun carry policy..for more info..

http://momsdemandaction.org/groceriesnotguns/

As for the hijab or abaya - most women are expected to wear the hijab (head covering), a full black cloak called an abaya, and a face-veil called niqab. Many historians and Islamic scholars hold that the custom, if not requirement, of the veil predates Islam in parts of the region. - and even now, women are starting to have a choice in some countries..

Once you understand something..it becomes less scary for some scareded men and women...be well ALL! -

 

HerrKarlMarx

(37 posts)
54. I hate Burqas
Wed Aug 24, 2016, 02:57 PM
Aug 2016

Burqas are the sign of an oppressive and misogynistic religion. While I don't think that this Abrahamic folly has any place in a modern society, I still think it is far more difficult to assault a school, a night club, or any other establishment, with a Burqa rather than an assault rifle.

 

Shandris

(3,447 posts)
55. I...shop.
Wed Aug 24, 2016, 03:05 PM
Aug 2016

Either one is potentially dangerous. So is walking outside, stepping over a doorframe, closing a window, drawing breath, et al. While it'd be nice to pretend I can be 'safe', it isn't possible. I can mitigate risk, but to do so only with an eye on risk alone will eventually shut down your life for little gain. Diminishing returns, so to speak.

So if I'm in a place with 200 people and lots of aisles, and there's one tiny group of people that may, under the most horrific of circumstances, try to kill me...my best mitigation of risk is AMONG 200 others. And by best usage of mental cycles is not to worry myself down into the reptilian brain over what some person may, or may not, decide to do.

Now, if the rifle is held in hand, I have a totally different answer! But yeah. OC or burkas? Please.

Whiskeytide

(4,461 posts)
57. Soooooooo many variables go into my analysis of the situations....
Wed Aug 24, 2016, 03:33 PM
Aug 2016

Situation #1:

I first look at the store clerk to see if she poses a threat to those men carrying the rifles. She has a smug look on her face - maybe she screwed up their order ON PURPOSE, and they're going to have to correct it with extreme prejudice (I'm not quite sure how that differs from regular prejudice, but I've heard it in movies and it sounds really cool)! I don't want to get caught up in THAT crossfire, so I'm turning around pronto.

If - as I enter - one or both of the men turn and look at me (I hate those damn bells on the tops of shop doors - I can't freakin' sneak up on anyone carrying a rifle - they should have buzzards instead), then I have to examine their eyes to see if (1) they are batshit crazy, (2) on drugs, or (3) if they seem straight forward and trustworthy and I'm able to get a sense of their souls (I learned how to do that in Slovenia). If I smell bat feces or meth, I'm outta there. Otherwise it's high-fives all around.

Next, I have to weigh their purpose for arming up at a coffee shop (I think it's a coffee shop. It looks like a coffee shop, anyway - and it must be because what kind of idiot would open carry in pastry shop - lol). Has the government issued warnings that terrorists are planning to hit coffee shops? Could these men be there as patriots to defend our mocha lattes from evil (the terrorists DO hate our way of life, after all, right)? If so - a hardy slap on the back is appropriate for both of them - even if it does result in an unintended discharge of freedom. That's the price we pay, people - suck it up.

If this coffee shop is NOT located in Fallujah, however, then I'd have to look for another reason for them to have these weapons on display. As much as I hate to talk about this, I think I'd have to judge their penis sizes. That would surely tell me much about their secure states of mind. They're wearing jeans, though, so it might not be easy. I could ask them to whip 'em out for me (I don't suppose they'd mind) - but frankly, I really have little experience in judging penis size - I keep my damn eyes on the damn wall at the damn urinal, buddy - so that might not help much either! I'd probably just have to ask them if their penises were exceptionally small and judge the sincerity of their answers (that eye thing again).

The men also don't look black, "terrorist brown" or homeless - so obviously there is little risk of a robbery in progress, a suicide bombing, or that I'd be asked for spare change. No worries there.

So .... if the clerk checks out, I don't smell shit (that I can't otherwise associate with a brain replacement scenario), they don't remind me of Spiccoli, it's not a war zone, their penises look good -(well, not "good", I mean, ... just look okay - or, I mean, ... you know what I mean), and they're white guys with a mortgage, I think I'm good with the semi automatic guns - even though they are CLEARLY posin' as autos (talk about not fooling ANY-damn-body). After all, no one with a fucked up sense of self worth, over-active imaginations of paranoia, or an itchy-trigger fingering their agenda has ever posed a threat to law abiding citizens - and I am law abiding!

Situation#2. Okay - I don't think that's a Klan meeting after a cross burnin', so TALK ABOUT SCARY!. At least I can see their eyes to do the eye thingy - but I don't even have to. WTF are they hiding under all that clothing? Nothing good, I bet. Definitely not penises because I'm now trained on spotting penises (which I only do to keep us safe, pervert - not that there's anything wrong with ... wait...).

And I have no idea if they are responsible burka wearers or not. What if there is a wardrobe malfunction and I see a boob?! (It took me weeks to get over Super Bowl XXXVIII, and damn near wore out my DVR - I'm NOT going through THAT again just so people can exercise freedom of the WRONG damn religion!) And I bet they're not even wearin' pasties because surely pasties are against their religion. So I might see a boob AND a nipple! If I want to see THAT shit I'll go to Olive Garden.

And that one on the left - she's flashing gang signs probably. I'll check Snopes on that later, but I'm pretty sure. Sure enough to post it on Facebook, anyway.

And black? Black? Really? Shouldn't it be orange by now?

Shit. Where are the guys in situation #1 when you need them?




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