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niyad

(112,434 posts)
Sat Oct 10, 2015, 12:26 PM Oct 2015

After the Oregon Shootings: A Campaign to Raise Healthy Sons

After the Oregon Shootings: A Campaign to Raise Healthy Sons
October 9, 2015 by Rob Okun


Again. This time, the scene was a community college in Roseburg, Oregon, 175 miles south of Portland. This time, nine people were murdered and the shooter committed suicide. This time, President Obama spoke out more forcefully than he did after Sandy Hook. This time, stronger alliances are forming to lobby Congress to pass stringent new gun laws. This time, there are louder calls to improve services for the mentally ill.



Here is one thing not happening this time: the shooter’s gender is not central to the story; is not the big news. This time, few are demanding we start taking seriously the fact that the shooters are always men. That has to change.
. . . . .


In recent years, the media has occasionally made note of the killers being male, and the topic of how boys are raised in this society made the news for a cycle or two. Then it has been back to gun control and mental health. Where is the sustained inquiry into how boys are socialized in deserts of emotional constriction? Where is the Frontline report on a society regularly producing crops of psychologically stunted, angry, isolated men? Where are the clergy sermonizing about men growing up in emotionally arid soil without exposure to the sunlight of compassion or the waters of connection?
. . . . .




Since men are perpetrating these mass killings, it’s only right that we men act as our brothers’ keepers, working to prevent our brothers’ violence, beginning with promoting efforts to raise sound boys and men. Our experiences learning from and collaborating with women and women’s organizations will be invaluable in all we do. Imagine if men across the spectrum band together in a Let’s Build Sound Boys and Men campaign working with early childhood educators, nurses and doctors, school administrators and counselors, parent-teacher organizations, and, especially, sports coaches—from those in weekend soccer leagues to Division I football.

Who could fund such an effort? Who could underwrite a national media campaign? Who could cover the costs of field offices in all 50 states? The single largest men’s organization in the U.S.—the National Football League. If the NFL wants to work on restoring its sullied reputation—albeit late in the game, and after a series of fumbles involving domestic violence—it’s time for the league to put its money where its mouth is. (To be fair, the NFL has of late begun funding domestic violence and sexual assault prevention trainings league-wide.)

. . . .

http://msmagazine.com/blog/2015/10/09/after-the-oregon-shootings-a-campaign-to-raise-healthy-sons/

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After the Oregon Shootings: A Campaign to Raise Healthy Sons (Original Post) niyad Oct 2015 OP
Slowly but surely this can be done-IF we had enough riversedge Oct 2015 #1
I am not sure that I see either the willpower or the organizations. niyad Oct 2015 #2
There is something more d_r Oct 2015 #3
Could not get? Or set themselves up for failure? ck4829 Oct 2015 #4
Yeah I agree d_r Oct 2015 #5

d_r

(6,907 posts)
3. There is something more
Sat Oct 10, 2015, 01:19 PM
Oct 2015

I don't know if it means anything, but they are all boys who could not get a girlfriend. Maybe that is some kind of marker for an inability to form relationships or experience intimacy. I am sure it is just a covariant caused by some third variable but it is part of the "prophile.'

In Japan they become 'Herbivore men.' Maybe the stereotype of Japanese value on group cohesion vs. American focus on individualism is part of the different trajectory. I Syria and Iraq the became Isis and men go there now to be assigned a woman or hold them in slavery.

Eta they are " NEET" not employed, in education, or training.

ck4829

(34,977 posts)
4. Could not get? Or set themselves up for failure?
Sun Oct 11, 2015, 09:53 AM
Oct 2015

I think there is something to what you are saying, but I also think there is more to it that can add to this.

Elliot Rodger is a good example of this mostly because of that manifesto of his, and indeed he is one of these people who complained that he could not get a girlfriend.

But it's not simply "I can't get a girlfriend".

In his manifesto, there is no mentions by him of him introducing himself to any women or even speaking to them, and this is reinforced when he mentions walking down the street and passing a female who was also a complete stranger and her not being wooed by him for walking down the street as proof of his victimhood.

He wanted a girlfriend, but he did nothing to show interest to women, to show that he was available, and as much as he said he wanted companionship, he rejected people from being his friends and isolated himself. And I guess he talked about his angst in passing to one of his father's friends, Dale Launer, who tried to give suggestions about getting a girlfriend to Rodger and Rodger blew him off.

And if I remember right, people said the Oregon shooter would also isolate himself and would not say anything other than one or two word responses to people... then he turns around and says he can't get a girlfriend either.

I do think there is something linked here, but it is more of an effect than a cause. And I think the cause is setting oneself up for social rejection and isolation.

d_r

(6,907 posts)
5. Yeah I agree
Sun Oct 11, 2015, 04:41 PM
Oct 2015

I think it is a "marker" but not a cause and effect. Social Isolation is a better way of thinking about it, you are right.

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