Trump Spends Entire Classified National Security Briefing Asking About Egyptian Mummies
Sitting down with officials from the Office of the Director of National Intelligence to discuss a range of foreign and domestic threats facing the United States, presidential candidate Donald Trump reportedly spent the entirety of his first classified national security briefing Wednesday asking about Egyptian mummies.
What can you tell me about the dangers posed by mummies, and what are we doing to prevent invoking the ire of King Tut? Trump reportedly asked in response to an update on growing militarism among insurgent factions in Egypt, before requesting a detailed assessment on mummies known strengths and weaknesses and an estimate on the total number of burial chambers in the region.
Have we disturbed any of their tombs? Are they seeking revenge? I want to know which pyramids we need to worry about. Just tell me how many years of curses were talking about here.
Upon the conclusion of the top-secret briefing, Trump reportedly double-checked with the intelligence agents that Vikings no longer exist and that they currently pose no threat to the United States.
http://www.theonion.com/article/trump-spends-entire-classified-national-security-b-53550
MFM008
(19,803 posts)Hurled his curse at him.
PJMcK
(22,025 posts)In the Age of Trump, satire no longer works. I read the headline and started to read the excerpt but then I saw the link to The Onion.
At first, the story was believable.
Donald Trump is ruining everything including satire.
Charles Bukowski
(1,132 posts)Satirizing Trump is akin to making a parody of the Naked Gun films. The real thing is so absurd, it just doesn't work.
Zambero
(8,964 posts)All those Egyptian mummies were denied access to their eternal burial chambers so that the available space could be utilized for grain storage. Understandably those mummies were royally pissed. So, yes those curses are more than likely still in effect. That you Donald Trump, for looking out for clear and present dangers emanating from the Arab world.
And yes, since Donald Trump has successfully blurred the line between satire and his own sense of reality, the two are now considered one and the same.
chillfactor
(7,573 posts)what a waste of space....
Thinkingabout
(30,058 posts)Responsible for the disappearance of the dinasours.
Mozzonozzo
(24 posts)It'd be the end of the Onion. Just saw another post titled "Trump discussed continuing Apprentice from White House". The Onion won't stand a chance...
Control-Z
(15,682 posts)I'm still unsure of that one. It was discussed aa though it was the real thing but I'm not sure I can believe that one. It was satire, wasn't it?