I used to be an ICU nurse, and we did get those heartbreakers now and then.

My best vibes to you both.

Sending good vibes your way

What a shock.

Good that you know CPR

The two of us have went through so much together, we were even homeless for while. As bad as it got at times neither of us even thought about leaving. Most of y'all wont believe it, but in all that time we have never had an argument, and except for unusual circumstances, we have never been apart more than 10 hours.

I’m thinking of you and your dear partner. Sending a hug and healing vibes your way. ☮️

So is there anything we can do for you? Research insurance possibilities?

Virtual hugs abound my friend.

thanks to living in one of the states that refused to extend medicare to the poverty stricken. Our income is too low to qualify for a subsidy

Couldn't qualify for Medicaid, either, I guess? I guess not, or you would have.

I don't know what happens in this situation, once the life threatening situation is over, if she needs care. One step at a time.

I hope she fully recovers.

I am sending you all my prayers and good vibes. I'm so sorry for her, for you.

Hugs on the long scary night!

On the practical side of things, perhaps it’s a blessing that you’re not legally married? Bankruptcy would certainly be an option for her to consider once she’s gotten through this crisis and the medical bills start rolling in. I work for a bankruptcy attorney, and, sadly, we often have clients who wouldn’t be in our office if it weren’t for medical bills.

I’m keeping both of you in my thoughts.

She has you by her side!

Sending light.

been there... you are in my thoughts

Do you live in a state that recognizes common law status? Or are you simply assuming such because you've been together for a long time?

Common law spouses are incredibly rare. Most states don't recognize that status, even though a lot of people make erroneous assumptions about what makes them common law husband and wife.

It's always a good idea to get married legally, especially if you want the benefits that accrue to married couples.

Alabama
New Hampshire (for inheritance purposes only)
Colorado
Oklahoma
District of Columbia
Rhode Island
Iowa
South Carolina
Kansas
Texas
Montana
Utah

Very few states recognize common law marriages.

I keep on coming across those who think that common law marriages exist based on completely erroneous and out of date information, that they are in a common law marriage. Usually that's not the case.

If you want the benefits of marriage, then get married.

10 years or more in a state that allows common law marriages.

common law marriage any more, I wouldn't count on it.

And no state prescribes that a common law marriage exists after living together for any specific time of year, so the ten year thing you've referenced is meaningless.

I also suspect that it would be extremely difficult to actually establish what is thought of or deemed as common law marriage even in those states that recognize them. Especially if one partner is not fully on board about presenting as being common law married.

It makes far more sense to go ahead and actually get married.

I don't know why she never would marry me, I urged her to many times over the years

My thoughts are with you and her.

You saved her life.

they are not officially married. I have that same situation with my lady friend, even though we share everything and are essentially married.

He’s trying to explain how much she means to him.

In any event, I sure hope things look up tomorrow.

I hope she pulls through, Dingoes!

The love you have described is exceedingly rare, and such a love would transcend even the dark nightmare you and your love are going through. It will be true forever that you two have shared a great love! Your love wraps around her and lifts her and shields her from the worst of this ordeal.

I don't know you... but I get what you're going thru.

Reach out if theres a need. It helps in coping.

Seriously.

That being said I hope all goes well.


Don't worry about the bill. Hospitals have contingencies for this.

Do they have a diagnosis yet?

As for your status, I can relate. Our schedules were already so crazy after 7 years together, if my brother hadn’t invited us to our wedding, we probably still wouldn’t have gotten around to it. Our younger daughter doesn’t believe in marriage either although she has been happily living with the father of her baby for years, now, and is the main organizer of her sister’s big wedding this coming August.

Here’s hoping you get the chance to re-open the discussion with your companion soon!

Now the pros have to take over.
She's got you and all of us and the medicos on her side!

Go Fund Me is a way to raise at least some money from those who know you or your loved one. You may want to start a fund right away to take at least some of the financial stress off of you.

I'm not a doctor but the sudden collapse could be a heart attack and your prompt intervention may well have saved her life.

Do let us all know how she is doing, once you have a diagnosis.

Too many people do not. Wishing her a return to health and sending you positive thoughts of support...

your way, please keep us updated on how she is doing.

Stay sane for yourself; if nothing else, eat! and drink lots of water. We're all hoping that she'll be well again. DU hoping works!

Just know many others are thinking about you and her , and with you both.

here's what I got from her sister who is an ER nurse in MD

She remains in CCU. She coded twice Sunday night, first was repeat Pulseless VT and second time was PEA. I was pretty worried overnight.
This AM all was status quo, reflexes intact.

Last update was that they had turned her sedation off but she wasn’t awake yet (but that was only an hour in so crossing fingers).
She is to have an EEG and repeat head CT.
will know more after I call around 9 for an update.

her sister is an ER nurse in MD and can get more out of them than I can

No changes. Word on the street is she had a rough night. Only meds she is on is a smidge if Fentanyl here and there to help with gag/cough. Remains off sedation without purposeful movement.

Sending healing thought your way!

So very sorry.

I’m just so terribly sorry. What a frightening experience, and you jumped in there to save her life until the professionals could get there. I just can’t imagine. I hope you have good support around you - someone to lean on hard - and all of my best to the two of you. I’m just so sorry.

I hope that comforts you in some way. Peace and comfort to you!