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Gravitycollapse

(8,155 posts)
Tue Jun 3, 2014, 01:11 AM Jun 2014

A questionable looking couple just showed up on my doorstep and asked the most insane question.

The wife asked if I could remember if her husband, the guy standing next to her, had passed out in our yard.

Annoyed by the very possibility that that even happened, I told them I had no memory of such a thing. They said they were looking for his keys. I told them I would look when the sun comes up tomorrow before work.

I went back inside and told my roommate the story and she went into the kitchen and retrieved a lanyard with keys attached. Her boyfriend, our other roommate, was getting his laundry out of the wash room in the backyard yesterday morning and found a man completely passed out at 9 AM. The hobo-like character woke up but wouldn't leave. So my roommate brought out our 115 pound Great Dane/Poodle mix, with a bark like a thunder clap, which gave him enough motivation to get the fuck out.

Now I have this guys keys and I know where he lives. But I'm honestly kind of pissed off this happened. I'm not going to trudge over to the couple's sketchy apartment complex two blocks away this late. I'll drop the keys off in the morning, I suppose. But, still, what the hell.

He should be happy it wasn't me who found him. I'd have called the cops. Arguably, my roommate was dumb for not doing so.

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A questionable looking couple just showed up on my doorstep and asked the most insane question. (Original Post) Gravitycollapse Jun 2014 OP
Cue the Twilight Zone Theme... GReedDiamond Jun 2014 #1
If I were annoyed enough, I'd turn the keys in to the cops csziggy Jun 2014 #2
Ah, the milk of human kindness... TreasonousBastard Jun 2014 #3
I suppose you're right. Anyway, he can wait until the morning. Gravitycollapse Jun 2014 #5
live and let live, right? suninvited Jun 2014 #10
an "innocent" explanation ( possibly ) Leme Jun 2014 #12
what? Kali Jun 2014 #4
Depends on what you mean by "inappropriate." Gravitycollapse Jun 2014 #6
Dude, thanks for finding my keys! Joe Shlabotnik Jun 2014 #7
What the hell kind of neighborhood is it where Jenoch Jun 2014 #8
Sleepwalking ? /nt jakeXT Jun 2014 #9
Call the cops for that?... lame54 Jun 2014 #11
I find a passed-out guy in my yard, I'm calling the cops. MicaelS Jun 2014 #13
The story is intriguing, marzipanni Jun 2014 #14

csziggy

(34,120 posts)
2. If I were annoyed enough, I'd turn the keys in to the cops
Tue Jun 3, 2014, 01:27 AM
Jun 2014

And tell them the story, including the address of the couple. Let them explain the cops why the husband is passing out on strangers' lawns!

TreasonousBastard

(43,049 posts)
3. Ah, the milk of human kindness...
Tue Jun 3, 2014, 01:37 AM
Jun 2014

I assume the guy was drunk at the time, but there are other possibilities. Rude, but drunks are not generally known for their decision-making abilities.

At any rate, nobody was hurt, so why not just give him the keys back with the advice that next time it will be the cops who wake him up.

(I'll let someone else ask if you have a gun.)

Gravitycollapse

(8,155 posts)
5. I suppose you're right. Anyway, he can wait until the morning.
Tue Jun 3, 2014, 01:45 AM
Jun 2014

I'll be up early and in the right kind of mood to remind him not to do it again. Lest he wishes to be mauled by a gigantic poodle.

I sold off my guns several years ago. Haven't looked back. My first level of home protection is my cell phone. The second level is a baseball bat. If I need anything else, I'll take my leave through the front or back door or a window.

suninvited

(4,616 posts)
10. live and let live, right?
Tue Jun 3, 2014, 11:02 AM
Jun 2014

I would normally agree, except for one glaring detail. The guy was in his BACK YARD.

If it were just a guy walking home drunk, fell down on the grass in front of a house and unable to get up, just passed out kind of thing that would be a 'what the heck, it's better then him driving home and crashing his car through the front of my house' moment.

But I can't for a minute feel anything but suspect of a guy passing out in a back yard. What innocent explanation could there be for being there to begin with?

I would call the cops.

 

Leme

(1,092 posts)
12. an "innocent" explanation ( possibly )
Tue Jun 3, 2014, 12:01 PM
Jun 2014

some neighborhoods have alleys or walkways that are not front yards. or known shortcuts.

Gravitycollapse

(8,155 posts)
6. Depends on what you mean by "inappropriate."
Tue Jun 3, 2014, 01:52 AM
Jun 2014

I've passed out in my own bed. Which was, honestly, a work of mad genius on my part.

I've also passed out in my friends front yard after playing kings cup. Freshman year debauchery and all.

All of these things were dumb on my part.

marzipanni

(6,011 posts)
14. The story is intriguing,
Tue Jun 3, 2014, 07:35 PM
Jun 2014

but this is the Lounge. You can't mention your 115 lb. Great Dane/Poodle mix, and not post a picture of him/her!

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