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KamaAina

(78,249 posts)
Thu Jun 5, 2014, 01:41 PM Jun 2014

The Great American Menu: Foods Of The States, Ranked And Mapped

http://deadspin.com/the-great-american-menu-foods-of-the-states-ranked-an-1349137024

6. Gumbo (Louisiana)

Yeah, yeah, Louisiana also has the po' boy and the beignet, but really, those are New Orleans foods, and New Orleans already thinks more than highly enough of itself. Besides, neither of those is as tasty as Creole gumbo, which, factually, is the sole credible argument for not sinking that state into the Gulf of Mexico....

17. West Virginia slaw dog (West Virginia)

This is a hot dog with a chili-like meat sauce, mustard, and coleslaw on it. (Sometimes it has chopped onions on it, too.) Which, yeah, you can get variations of that pretty much anywhere, but West Virginians are serious about the coleslaw part. It's tasty. Like so much else in its home state, it is also low-grade, disreputable, and makes you feel kinda sad and gross if you think about it for too long....

22. New York-style pizza (New York)

By rough estimate, there are 900 trillion pizza joints per person in New York City. Somehow, within this competitive environment, not a one of the purveyors of "New York Pizza" has yet considered the wild and crazy idea of maybe trying to do something—anything!—interesting with its pizza. Here is a comically large, thin wedge of dough with some indifferent, rubbery cheese smeared across it, and maybe a few greasy F-grade variants of the same bullshit toppings you can get on your lousy DiGiorno back in friggin' Topeka. Oooh, it's so New Yorky! In that it is overpriced and happy to coast along on a long-since-hollowed-out myth of Big Apple authenticity, just like everything else in this giant, bad-smelling amusement park for rich white people! New York pizza isn't even a genuine pizza genre. It's just lousy, half-assed pizza. Papa John's with a chip on its shoulder....

25. Bull testicles (Montana)

Oddly, bull testicles come in so low on the list not because of ew, cow nads!!1! (seriously, the weirdest thing about eating bull testicles is the bizarre interspecies gay panic—"I don't put no balls in this-a-here mouth!"—they arouse in the food-scared weenie population), but because, eh, they're just not all that exciting. What else you got, Montana? Come back with, like, eyeball pie or something. Cow-snot poppers. Braised asshole. Something really challenging. Welcome to Jeb's Montana Steakhouse! Try the heifer surprise: She gives birth right into your open mouth!




I've never heard of a slaw dog. What about the pepperoni roll for WV?
12 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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The Great American Menu: Foods Of The States, Ranked And Mapped (Original Post) KamaAina Jun 2014 OP
Well, he managed to insult 48 out of 50 states NV Whino Jun 2014 #1
That's what makes it so hilarious. KamaAina Jun 2014 #3
Chicago Deep Dish = Bread Bowl Xyzse Jun 2014 #2
I agree. Overrated Populist_Prole Jun 2014 #9
Exactly! Xyzse Jun 2014 #12
Nom nom nom shenmue Jun 2014 #4
I hate to say it, but... GoCubsGo Jun 2014 #5
Real Alaskans don't starve in abandoned buses, Arthur_Frain Jun 2014 #6
Obviously you're not a NASCAR fan jmowreader Jun 2014 #7
I am enough of a NASCAR fan to know that KamaAina Jun 2014 #10
Chicago pizza is like eating a sofa cushion covered in hot ketchup LiberalEsto Jun 2014 #8
My review: The reviewer is a smug psuedo-intellectual douchebag Populist_Prole Jun 2014 #11

Populist_Prole

(5,364 posts)
9. I agree. Overrated
Fri Jun 6, 2014, 12:08 PM
Jun 2014

I wasn't sorry I tried it, but once goes a long way with me. Too thick. Even more of a gut-bomb than Sicilian Pizza.

Xyzse

(8,217 posts)
12. Exactly!
Fri Jun 6, 2014, 12:18 PM
Jun 2014

So till I changed my mindset and considered it a bread bowl rather than a pizza, I am fine with it now.

GoCubsGo

(32,061 posts)
5. I hate to say it, but...
Thu Jun 5, 2014, 06:50 PM
Jun 2014

1. and 2. should be switched. I may be a Chicago native, but I'll take shrimp and grits over deep dish pizza any day.

jmowreader

(50,453 posts)
7. Obviously you're not a NASCAR fan
Fri Jun 6, 2014, 03:00 AM
Jun 2014

The famous Martinsville Hot Dog, served at Martinsville Speedway in Martinsville, WV (say 'martinsvul' or everyone'll think you're a Yankee), is a Jesse Jones hot dog (they're red) topped with chili, slaw and onions.

 

LiberalEsto

(22,845 posts)
8. Chicago pizza is like eating a sofa cushion covered in hot ketchup
Fri Jun 6, 2014, 11:12 AM
Jun 2014

WTF is wrong with this idiot that is unable to recognize the deliciousness and utter superiority of NY-NJ pizza?

Send this writer back to Chicago and force-feed him lutefisk, Jello mold and hotdish until he screams for mercy.

Populist_Prole

(5,364 posts)
11. My review: The reviewer is a smug psuedo-intellectual douchebag
Fri Jun 6, 2014, 12:14 PM
Jun 2014

Some things I agreed with the reviwer's taste on, some not. Just not enough opinion of the food, and too much desire to be wordy. Has a definite regional bias too.

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