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nadine_mn

(3,702 posts)
Tue Oct 6, 2015, 06:17 PM Oct 2015

I married a monster

What kind of uncivilized monster buys the Halloween big bag of Starbursts (the one with the individually wrapped packages of 2 Starbursts) and then opens most of the little packages only picking out the dark red ones (cherry), leaving behind half packages of orange and lemon? My husband, that's who. Then he doesn't even bother to hide his trail - I found little red wrappers strewn about the kitchen.

I am so glad we don't have children - what a terrible example he would set. Not to mention he also takes bites out of cookies, brownies, and cake then puts them back in the package/container and acts surprised when I complain. There are two humans in this house (2 dogs and a cat as well), and I leave no remains when it comes to sweets.

Thank goodness he has some redeeming qualities - sweet, loving, smart, and has a big heart. Otherwise...

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nadine_mn

(3,702 posts)
8. I made the mistake of saying the cherry were my favorite
Tue Oct 6, 2015, 11:20 PM
Oct 2015

then they magically became his favorite..lol

 

47of74

(18,470 posts)
4. If I didn't know better I'd be asking if this was my sister...
Tue Oct 6, 2015, 08:34 PM
Oct 2015

...of course you also have 2 dogs which they don't currently have.

Tace

(6,800 posts)
5. You Could Mention That The Artificial Red Color Comes From Bugs...
Tue Oct 6, 2015, 08:42 PM
Oct 2015

And the artificial red flavor comes from beaver anal glands. Yum!

Skittles

(152,964 posts)
6. you want I should kick his orange/lemon-phobic ass, nadine_mn?
Tue Oct 6, 2015, 08:49 PM
Oct 2015

YOU KNOW I WOULD DO THAT FOR YOU MY SWEET

UTUSN

(70,496 posts)
14. "Sharing"?!1 Like anything else, "sharing" can be overrated!1
Wed Oct 7, 2015, 11:20 AM
Oct 2015

As for hiding tracks/evidence, now *there* is a skill!1

(Actually, you two sound great together!1)

fizzgig

(24,146 posts)
11. the only ones i eat are the pink and red ones
Wed Oct 7, 2015, 02:09 AM
Oct 2015

my favorite candy flavor is purple, followed by pink. green is acceptable if it's lime or a green apple jolly rancher. lemon is acceptable if it's lemon. green apple, orange and banana are never acceptable candy flavors.

i am such a candy racist.

nadine_mn

(3,702 posts)
17. That is the sweetest thing to say!
Wed Oct 7, 2015, 06:30 PM
Oct 2015

I love him more and more everyday. We have been married for 16 yrs and the beginning was rough (whoo boy rough), but once we learned how to fight and how to love better, it's been a breeze.

He may be a Starburst thief and a cookie nibbler, but when he hits the shower every now and then I ninja attack him (squirt gun of cold water, smearing of shaving cream). And by ninja attack I mean he can hear my maniacal giggle advancing towards him.

As long as we can still laugh and play, we will last forever.

HereSince1628

(36,063 posts)
19. Well, I'm going thru adjustment disorder to the SO's retirement.
Wed Oct 7, 2015, 07:05 PM
Oct 2015

She was a Full Professor of English, head of her dept...

Somedays it seems she left off the person I knew with the keys she turned in

Other than that...

DFW

(54,055 posts)
20. I married a social worker
Thu Oct 8, 2015, 04:07 AM
Oct 2015

It would be asking a lot of a woman of any other profession to put up with me.

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