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Kurska

(5,739 posts)
Fri Sep 7, 2012, 07:24 PM Sep 2012

“They Won’t Magically Turn You Into A Lustful Cockmonster”: Chris Kluwe Explains Gay Marriage

Baltimore Ravens linebacker Brendon Ayanbadejo has spoken out in favor of a Maryland ballot initiative that would legalize gay marriage. Yahoo has published a letter that Maryland state delegate Emmett C. Burns Jr. wrote last week to Ravens owner Steve Bisciotti, urging him to "inhibit such expressions from your employee." This is Minnesota Vikings punter Chris Kluwe's response to Burns.

Dear Emmett C. Burns Jr.,

I find it inconceivable that you are an elected official of Maryland's state government. Your vitriolic hatred and bigotry make me ashamed and disgusted to think that you are in any way responsible for shaping policy at any level. The views you espouse neglect to consider several fundamental key points, which I will outline in great detail (you may want to hire an intern to help you with the longer words):
1. As I suspect you have not read the Constitution, I would like to remind you that the very first, the VERY FIRST Amendment in this founding document deals with the freedom of speech, particularly the abridgment of said freedom. By using your position as an elected official (when referring to your constituents so as to implicitly threaten the Ravens organization) to state that the Ravens should "inhibit such expressions from your employees," more specifically Brendon Ayanbadejo, not only are you clearly violating the First Amendment, you also come across as a narcissistic fromunda stain. What on earth would possess you to be so mind-boggingly stupid? It baffles me that a man such as yourself, a man who relies on that same First Amendment to pursue your own religious studies without fear of persecution from the state, could somehow justify stifling another person's right to speech. To call that hypocritical would be to do a disservice to the word. Mindfucking obscenely hypocritical starts to approach it a little bit.

2. "Many of your fans are opposed to such a view and feel it has no place in a sport that is strictly for pride, entertainment, and excitement." Holy fucking shitballs. Did you seriously just say that, as someone who's "deeply involved in government task forces on the legacy of slavery in Maryland"? Have you not heard of Kenny Washington? Jackie Robinson? As recently as 1962 the NFL still had segregation, which was only done away with by brave athletes and coaches daring to speak their mind and do the right thing, and you're going to say that political views have "no place in a sport"? I can't even begin to fathom the cognitive dissonance that must be coursing through your rapidly addled mind right now; the mental gymnastics your brain has to tortuously contort itself through to make such a preposterous statement are surely worthy of an Olympic gold medal (the Russian judge gives you a 10 for "beautiful oppressionism&quot .

Check out the rest after the link, if we had more fierce advocates like this whole issue would be settled already.

http://deadspin.com/5941348/they-wont-magically-turn-you-into-a-lustful-cockmonster-chris-kluwe-explains-gay-marriage-to-the-politician-who-is-offended-by-an-nfl-player-supporting-it

16 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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“They Won’t Magically Turn You Into A Lustful Cockmonster”: Chris Kluwe Explains Gay Marriage (Original Post) Kurska Sep 2012 OP
This letter is wonderful....go and read the whole thing...... prairierose Sep 2012 #1
I've been reading about this on another site Warpy Sep 2012 #2
What a magnificent smack down. Goblinmonger Sep 2012 #3
coming up on the EdShow. n/t justgamma Sep 2012 #4
this was on my facebook page madrchsod Sep 2012 #5
Watching this right now on Ed Schultz SoapBox Sep 2012 #6
It won't? Darn! There goes my evening! muntrv Sep 2012 #7
Emmett C. Burns is a backwards fool Glaug-Eldare Sep 2012 #8
du rec. Nt xchrom Sep 2012 #9
Nobody can magically become a lustful cockmonster. It takes years of practice. begin_within Sep 2012 #10
Like your comment, Bohunk68 Sep 2012 #13
Get a Kluwe, Burns! Bernardo de La Paz Sep 2012 #11
This is both wonderful AND hilarious... joeybee12 Sep 2012 #12
Cockmonster... WillParkinson Sep 2012 #14
LOL! Call Me Wesley Sep 2012 #15
I've seen him on at least two local news stations here in MN IVoteDFL Sep 2012 #16

Warpy

(111,222 posts)
2. I've been reading about this on another site
Fri Sep 7, 2012, 07:56 PM
Sep 2012

and yes, it's a thing of rare rhetorical beauty. So much for thinking football players are dumb, obviously not all of them are even if a lot of us think the game is.

I especially love the P.S. at the very end.

SoapBox

(18,791 posts)
6. Watching this right now on Ed Schultz
Fri Sep 7, 2012, 09:00 PM
Sep 2012

Cool.

And Chris Kluwe? DUDE! You are the MAN! Thank you!!

p.s....

Emmett C. Burns Jr.?

What the hell is wrong with you?!?

Bohunk68

(1,364 posts)
13. Like your comment,
Mon Sep 10, 2012, 08:40 AM
Sep 2012

It's one I've used many times. Also try, I no longer "practice", I'm now expert. Personally, I think Kluwe is downright hawt!! There's gotta be some better full length shots of him somewhere with less clothing on. Or better yet, none!!

IVoteDFL

(417 posts)
16. I've seen him on at least two local news stations here in MN
Wed Sep 12, 2012, 04:38 AM
Sep 2012

Our local Fox Affiliate yesterday and NBC today telling people to vote no on the marriage amendment in November. I think he is making a big difference here. The buzz around him just keeps coming. The polls are around 50%, if he changes just a few minds we could win this thing.

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