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BuelahWitch

(9,083 posts)
Tue Oct 20, 2015, 11:04 PM Oct 2015

Any other DUers living in a nursing or assisted living facility?

My "disability" is 4th stage metastatic breast cancer that spread to my left lung, liver and several bones. My walking ability is severely impaired, and I also have had double vision due to cancer at the base of my skull. I was diagnosed in November of last year when I was admitted to the ER after both my legs went out. Since I was living at the top of a third story walk up, and had no family or close friends to care for me, the social worker at the hospital filed SSDI and Medicaid paperwork for me, and arranged for me to be cared for at a nursing home about 40 miles south from where I was living.
After chemo, my insurance company rep had me placed in an assisted living facility about 5 miles north. I am still one of the youngest people here (I'll be 53 next month), but there is a bit more autonomy here. I was hoping once I got into a different place that I could take my kitty back, but they don't allow pets here, and it's too small a room for her anyway. But she is living with a nice lady a few blocks away who brings her for visits.
Although I will never be cured, or even in remission, the cancer is "stable" and I am trying to learn to walk again. I am not too interested in the activities here, but I did make friends with a few of the other residents. I miss walking on my own and driving. And of course I miss my beloved pet something awful.
Posted this here instead of the cancer group as it was more about being disabled than having cancer. I hope that was ok.

27 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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Any other DUers living in a nursing or assisted living facility? (Original Post) BuelahWitch Oct 2015 OP
sounds pretty stable Backwoodsrider Oct 2015 #1
Thanks much BuelahWitch Oct 2015 #3
I had Dad in a nursing 840high Oct 2015 #2
I'm sure your Dad enjoyed it immensely. BuelahWitch Oct 2015 #4
... shenmue Oct 2015 #5
.. BuelahWitch Oct 2015 #6
Love you! n/t Admiral Loinpresser Oct 2015 #7
Love you too! n/t BuelahWitch Oct 2015 #9
BeulahWitch, do you have to re-register to vote at your new location? If so, have you? NBachers Oct 2015 #8
To answer your first question, yes and no BuelahWitch Oct 2015 #10
What beautiful performance art that is! My heart really responds to this one- "Christmas is a Time" NBachers Oct 2015 #15
Yes, such a beautiful song! n/t BuelahWitch Oct 2015 #17
*** NCarolinawoman Oct 2015 #11
Thank you! BuelahWitch Oct 2015 #13
Sending a big hug.. haikugal Oct 2015 #12
.. BuelahWitch Oct 2015 #14
Vibes and wishes to you from out here in California! villager Oct 2015 #16
I will! n/t BuelahWitch Oct 2015 #20
someone is always here on DU for you, BeulahWitch Skittles Oct 2015 #18
Thanks! BuelahWitch Oct 2015 #19
well of course it's whatever is right for each person Skittles Oct 2015 #23
So sorry you are going through this. You have a wonderfully positive attitude Live and Learn Oct 2015 #21
There are some days zalinda Oct 2015 #24
I think maybe you are right. She really seemed to enjoy Live and Learn Oct 2015 #25
The CNAs who worked with her must have loved your grandma BuelahWitch Oct 2015 #26
I Had No Idea... WillyT Oct 2015 #22
.. BuelahWitch Oct 2015 #27

Backwoodsrider

(764 posts)
1. sounds pretty stable
Tue Oct 20, 2015, 11:14 PM
Oct 2015

I am a former casemanager worked with a number of clients in facilities but did not often hear such a good attitude as yours, you have goals and things to look forward to. I retired am paralyzed in a wheelchair hope your walking returns soon and you can move and get your cat back
Chris

BuelahWitch

(9,083 posts)
3. Thanks much
Tue Oct 20, 2015, 11:23 PM
Oct 2015

I have to admit I have had a lot of support from friends (Facebook friends, people I have never met) after I got sick. I have had a lot of help from others too, like the people who adopted my cat from the animal shelter (and also brought her for visits), and then found her another home when they could no longer care for her. There are times I feel low and wish I had my old body back, but I keep my mind busy and am trying to get back to working with some software like Photoshop again for a creative outlet.
Take care, Chris and hope you have some good times coming soon. Leslie

 

840high

(17,196 posts)
2. I had Dad in a nursing
Tue Oct 20, 2015, 11:15 PM
Oct 2015

home for 8 years. We used to sneak kitty in for short visits. When I was in the hospital I missed my furries a lot. I'll be thinking of you.

NBachers

(17,001 posts)
8. BeulahWitch, do you have to re-register to vote at your new location? If so, have you?
Tue Oct 20, 2015, 11:53 PM
Oct 2015

I hope to be seeing more BeulahWitch posts in the future. I'm old enough to know who Beulah Witch is; tell me how you know about her. I don't think you were around for the first run of Kukla, Fran, and Ollie, were you?

BuelahWitch

(9,083 posts)
10. To answer your first question, yes and no
Wed Oct 21, 2015, 12:04 AM
Oct 2015

I have talked to the activity director about taking me to Franklin country DMV to get an ID card (no more driving for me) AND make sure I am registered to vote before the caucus. You have to register by Feb 8 in Kansas, I believe (I would have to check again, but I have a little time). I have ordered a birth certificate to satisfy Mr. Kobach that I am not trying to steal any elections.

No, I was not around for the original KFO, but I used to watch them on CBS Children's Film Festival. I became enamored of Burr Tillstrom's art about 10 years ago after visiting this website: www.kukla.tv. Was lucky enough to see some of the Kuklapolitans at the Chicago History Museum. Beulah is one of my favorites because she is one witch who likes to have a good time! Here she is with Madame Ooglepuss and Fran doing "Three Little Maids from School."

NBachers

(17,001 posts)
15. What beautiful performance art that is! My heart really responds to this one- "Christmas is a Time"
Wed Oct 21, 2015, 12:52 AM
Oct 2015

I know you've seen it

haikugal

(6,476 posts)
12. Sending a big hug..
Wed Oct 21, 2015, 12:04 AM
Oct 2015

I'm so glad your friend brings your fur baby to see you...what a difference they make in our lives. Glad to hear you're learning to walk again. Hard work I'm sure. I've had some illness that has landed me in the hospital for a bit over three weeks but was able to come home and manage on my own until I got strong enough to get around.

I'm disabled too and it sucks not being able to do the things you once were able to do.



 

villager

(26,001 posts)
16. Vibes and wishes to you from out here in California!
Wed Oct 21, 2015, 12:58 AM
Oct 2015

Our immediate family's first experience of assisted living was when my mom was in one, after having nearly expired -- out of the blue -- a few weeks after my dad passed (somewhat more expectedly).

Instead she "merely" lost one of her legs!

So there was a whole stint in rehab, assisted care facilities, etc.

One sister at home helped do the heavy lifting, and youngest sister and I were constantly heading in and out of town during that period. And bringing the family pug for visits, once she wound up in a "pet friendly" facility! (They were most welcome to visit, they just couldn't stay there!)

I'm glad your kitty cat gets to visit!

We had a Thanksgiving meal there with my mom, that year (bringing her a plate from home).... The whole experience certainly gave me an appreciation of what it was like for those living there....

Take care, BuelahWitch and keep updating us.....!

Skittles

(152,964 posts)
23. well of course it's whatever is right for each person
Wed Oct 21, 2015, 01:37 AM
Oct 2015

but the way you are personally responding to each post tells me you're comfortable reaching out, which in turn makes others comfortable with you - yes indeed

Live and Learn

(12,769 posts)
21. So sorry you are going through this. You have a wonderfully positive attitude
Wed Oct 21, 2015, 01:25 AM
Oct 2015

and I am sure it will help a lot. I hope you are able to walk again.

I don't have any nursing home stories to share aside form my grandmother whom for some reason unbeknownst to us actually wanted to be in one even when she didn't need one. (Perhaps we didn't give her enough attention at home, still not sure why she preferred the nursing home but she loved it.) But I can send good vibes and prayers your way.

zalinda

(5,621 posts)
24. There are some days
Wed Oct 21, 2015, 01:55 AM
Oct 2015

when you think, wouldn't it be nice if someone else did all the work. After you have basically waited on everyone else all the time, and put yourself last, it's nice to be waited on.

I went on a cruise once and it was so great not to have to clean, shop for or plan meals and your bed is always made up with clean sheets. I was in heaven.

Going into the nursing home, maybe was your grandmother's idea of a vacation.

Z

Live and Learn

(12,769 posts)
25. I think maybe you are right. She really seemed to enjoy
Wed Oct 21, 2015, 02:01 AM
Oct 2015

being around others her age and having others wait on her (more than we did). She loved the fact that she could get her hair done without going out and loved playing cards with the others there.

I also think she found comfort in there always being people with medical knowledge around. Although i was only a young teen at the time, I know even the smallest of medical problems (a nosebleed) frightened her.

BuelahWitch

(9,083 posts)
26. The CNAs who worked with her must have loved your grandma
Wed Oct 21, 2015, 10:21 AM
Oct 2015

Very few of the residents want to be there and some are hard to deal with. I think the hardest thing is when the management makes changes that takes away some of our autonomy. If your grandma was a very social person it was likely good for her and the other residents she interacted with.

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