God,, I love her,,but
She wants to blame all om me,,cuz she thinks I drink always. yeah I used to,,but when LilBit went into ICU Mom changed,,I went back into my work mode,where I watched many hcp people die,,and I went times 10 because it was my daughter.im giving her shots and meds,,, Mom went back to Tn and we had an issue today,,I made HORRID lasagna for LilBit yesterday today I went ,,bought some pasta sauce,,mushrooms,, garlic,,blah blah blah,,Lil Bit ate 2 plates full this morn and thunderstorms rolled in. and she wanted to sleep,,so I hugged her and we slept...deep. LilBit didnt wake,, I did and was in Wander land am?pm? where the hell are we? and then Mom calls.Supposedly I was drunk and drinking.. I do NOT WHEN I HAVE LILBIT to myself,,,.Im exhausted,,Lil bit pooped all over bed last night, and I did laundry ,,put fan on bad to get rid of smell.. cooked some great, breakfast for her, and thunderstorms ro;;ed in and she wanetd me to hug her,,we woke 10 hours later ..My point is ,,,we arent all drunks,druggies or otherwise, we can care,,my wife wants to look at me as a drunk,,,but Im not,,Im a Dad who worked in Hcp field and I KNOW these people.. AA is great,,but they dont look at real life,,they just do their notes.. Ive Lived these deaths
,yeah,,I drank,,but I dont anymore,,I take are of lilBit and tonight,,I took care of LilBIt Mom ran back to Tn,,, I cooked last night,,sucked,,today,,great,,,LilBit wanted nap and me hug so I did,,and now,,I get phone calls,Im still wrong,I truly want to crawl into a bottle,,but I never drink when I have lilbit with me alone,,why is Mom doing this? the hugs felt so good,,I havent slept well in weeks as I setting up camper and everything seems to be broken... Dammit why?I love Mrs and love lilbit,,, just dammit why?
rant over
Koz
= new reply since forum marked as read
wish I could disagree.
Glad you have Lil Bits hugs. I have only 'virtual' hugs from my daughters and grands, tho I drop gifts @ daughter's house near me, and occasionally see her and them through window. Now concerned, daughter feels sick. 
Post Office retirees must ALL be wired. HOPING for the day we can rescue them (and ALL of us.)
Keep on keeping on brother. One foot in front of the other, doing the next right thing.
All you can control in this life ... is your own actions
....Quote...."as I setting camper and everything seems to be broken...Dammit why?..I love Mrs and
love lilbit, just dammit why?"
One thing that is NOT broken: your wonderful heart and caring for Mrs. and lilbit.
WHY?....there is no answer......(in my opinion, but I really don't know much)
I am sorry that I have not been around much, I wish you the best every day. We got to hang in there
together.
.......
