Some Senior Thoughts

God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

Now that I'm older here's what I've discovered:

I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

My wild oats have turned into prunes and all bran.

I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.

Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

If all is not lost, where is it?

It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.

Some days, you're the dog: some days you're the hydrant.

I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few.

Kids in the back seat causes accidents.

Accidents in the back seat causes kids.

If God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees.

Its not hard to meet expenses...they're everywhere.

These days, I spent a lot of time thinking about the hereafter...I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm here after.

Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.