Not all parts are created equal. There may be a very legit reason for the price difference.

But on my kid's insurance, so she'll have the deductible. If it was someone else's insurance, I wouldn't care.

I'd go with an OEM part. The Chinese stuff is horrible and usually doesn't fit right. I would call your local wrecking yard and see if they have it in stock.

OEM stuff from BMW, Porsche, and Audi is very well built.

And a good auto salvage yard is more "buisnesslike" than many of the "aftermarket parts" distributors. A fair amount of aftermarket stuff, tho, is made by the contractors who make it for the OEM's, and at A THOUSAND FUCKING DOLLARS FOR A HEADLIGHT, you'd be a fool to not check!

Bodywork is ridiculously expensive. I’ve only had work done thru my insurance so I don’t know. Unfortunately it seems like any skilled labor nowadays is very expensive. I guess with the “booming economy” they can get away with it. I took my car in last summer for some somewhat minor work and they kept my car for almost a month

Is that it's becoming a lost art

The labor rate is fine. No problem at all with that. It's just the part price.

Call around and tell them you were going to install the lamp yourself but have decided not to try.
All they can do is say no or perhaps the labor will go up an increment.
Is the aftermarket lamp certified to the same specs as an OEM unit?
My Chevy truck is wearing new lamps on all 4 corners that cost right at $100 for all and they look and feel like OEM.
Have you heard of "PartsGeek", they offer aftermarket lamps both certified and not for most cars/trucks with prices that will shock you.

So, I go to another body shop, the one recommended by my mechanic.

They say I don't need a new headlamp. All they need to do is remove the bumper, reset the headlamp, replace the bumper. Done.

$70.

Granted, they may say I need a headlamp once they get in there, and I can then deal with the part question/price then. If not, then my problem is solved for $70.

Never a dull moment in the world of car repairs.

Now here's another one. The mechanic I use is one I've been going to for 6 years. Great people, reasonable prices, and I feel as if I'm being treated fairly in terms of pricing and competence. That said, I'm sure the brake job required to pass inspection will run pretty high. I don't have the estimate yet. But I have to say that I'll probably be tempted to get another quote, but talk about awkward. Hey guys, thanks for your estimate, love you guys, but I decided to get the work done someplace else. See you next time for the other two vehicles.

Is to ask what your options are in regard to the repair. The labor and parts costs should be fairly constant, so any meaningful savings would be in the extent of the repair.

Sourcing parts on your own is a touchy subject with most shops. Prior arrangement is the only fair way. The shop has to know the right stuff is coming, not the maybe stuff. An upcharge to cover their overhead can be appropriate, too.

That is, if a part costs them $100, they mark it up at least 50% and resell it to you. That includes handling charges for acquiring and stocking the part itself. If you get an oil change you can't bring in your own filter and oil and expect them to install it for just labor cost. That's really not where they make money.

Having said that, a thousand bucks may be an unreasonable markup. Body shops often price parts for the sake of taking money from insurance companies. Customers don't complain and insurance companies recoup the money from us. I've often gotten better prices at body shops by explaining that it's coming out of my pocket.

Keep in mind that you often get what you pay for in car parts. In many cases, a generic part will cause woe. Do some research on BMW headlights and definitely shop around.

I think you're being scalped on the price, including markup.
https://www.rockauto.com/en/catalog/bmw,2008,328xi,3.0l+l6,1442504,body,headlamp+assembly,10762

Markups are fine, but I hate being taken advantage of. I just bought a tail light for my Tundra - $66 aftermarket from am-autoparts.com, delivered in two days. OEM is $100 more. I had to buy one (for the other side - I have backing up issues) a couple of years ago, and it works just fine.