That man is the working definition of the word "smarmy." The speech impaired little granddaughter is reminding me why my mother would always point a finger gun and mutter "somebody step on it before it breeds" whenever a kid was in a commercial.

The truly cynical part of me thinks putting this kid on camera is going to backfire by reminding people about what they might get stuck with should her grandpa's glowing description of the efficacy of his services actually come to pass.

May she realize how smarmy her grandpa is, may her career be mercifully short, and may her inheritance buy her some speech therapy.

The subject of my next unloading will be on those despicable (and quickly proliferating) whisper commercials.

A-A-r-r-g-h! Insert puking smiley here...

Since we have a lot of new people, I just HAVE to repeat the Noel Coward anecdote. Old-timers are already rolling their eyes. But this story reminds me so much of the eHarm ads:

Noel Coward hated 2 things in the theater - child actors and animals on stage. Apparently he just didn't see much use for either.

So imagine his delight when Coward was forced to attend a London musical version of "Gone With The Wind." It not only had live animals, but featured a child actress who was an especially obnoxious little hamette.

Child actress came onstage leading a magnificent white horse...which promptly took a giant steaming dump for the amusement of the audience.

Coward observed: "The producer could have solved all his problems, if he'd only shoved the child's head up the horse's arse."

Also from Noel Coward:

"Many years ago I remember a famous actress explaining to me with perfect seriousness that before making an entrance she always stood aside to allow God to go on first. I can also remember that on that particular occasion He gave a singularly uninspired performance."

which all boiled down to "anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad."

I have to agree with him when it comes to commercials. Both are grating beyond belief.

I guess there is no market for it.

Luckily I have missed those commercials.

I can't vouch for any of them personally, though. I'd guess the better ones are the sites attached to atheist organizations.

Just search on "atheist dating sites." I just did that and got a lot of hits.

eHarm annoys me because they apparently, at least one time, didn't want atheist members. I guess that has changed.

But somewhere on the Internet, I read some posts by a woman (I think) who worked for eHarm when it was first setting up. In fact, this person was one of only 2 eHarm Customer Service reps working in a particular geographic area.

The other CS Rep sat right behind her...with a big Bible on her desk. The poster said she made it very clear she was an atheist when hired, and there appeared to be no problem.

But later, she was told that she might have to pray with customers who called up, depressed that their search for the Perfect God-Approved Mate wasn't going so well. The poster quit at that point, since she couldn't be that hypocriticial.

LOL, at least that is the way it appears from all the invitations I keep getting spammed with in my email. I think that they would take dogs and horses as well, they seem to be so desperate.

Your story made me laugh about people who want to pray with that voice on the other end of the phone at a customer service site. I cannot imagine how pathetic you are to go that low....and I have been pretty disappointed myself. (Any 60 year old woman who has never been married has been there herself at some point in life.) Unfortunately, I can't laugh about how she was basically forced to quit her job....that would be a living hell. I have to wonder how many customers called wanting to pray.

Ronald McDonald at a PETA convention! Cawowine's titanium endoskeleton.

You may have something substantial to offer to some debate, about something, but I can't appreciate it for laughing. Too funny! More please.

As I often say, I'm just here for the lulz. Using the metaphor of a bar fight for debate, some of our A/A posters are great at standing up and slugging it out with the believers and faux-believers. I'm more like the guy hiding under the table who will bite somebody's leg if I get a chance.

When I first heard of that show, I immediately thought: "Shouldn't they have talked to the psychic BEFORE they ended up on the Cell Block?"

Though given Sylvia's criminal background, she'd have probably ended up on the wrong side of the bars in that show.

That one is in a long list of stuff I file under "Death Of Civilization TV." And just don't watch.

Except when I go to one of the snark sites, like previously.tv, and see the people there ranting about some real train-wreck of a show. Then I can't resist.

They recently pointed me toward - No-God help me - an old episode of "Toddlers & Tiaras." One crazy Mom forced her kid to do a pageant, even though the girl was obviously sick with a bad cold. Mom kept pouring cough medicine into the kid, which made her doze off, which made Mom yell at her even more.

And she was Mother of the Year compared to the Russian internet bride who kept screaming at her kid that "the judges HATE YOU!" Her daughter was FOUR YEARS OLD. And much better behaved than her harridan of a mother. At one point, Mom had an epic meltdown in their hotel room. The girl just slipped right out the door and nobody noticed. I don't know where she thought she was going. I guess she just wanted to escape all the yelling. Maybe she was going to the bar and I wouldn't blame her. Poor kid.

I won't be watching any more of those. I have little enough hope for humanity as it is.