History of Feminism

seabeyond

(110,159 posts) Wed Sep 19, 2012, 10:33 AM Sep 2012

What is “internalized sexism”?

The message of sexism comes at us in two ways: external and internal oppression. The external sexism is messages and behavior coming to us from outside, through institutions and individuals, e.g. “Women are too emotional to be in positions of authority.” Internalized sexism is taking in and believing the stereotypes and misinformation that our sexist culture tells us about being female and what it means to be a woman, resulting in e.g. “What do I know…” , “Who am I to speak…” Both external and internal avenues of oppression are painful and limiting for women as individuals and as a group, and deprives the world of our best thoughts, decisions, and actions.

The interaction between being the recipient of external sexism and turning it into internalized sexism isn’t a one-to-one causal relationship. If a little girl is told to not speak up because that’s what “good little girls do”, she is not necessarily going to internalize that literally. She could have any number of reactions, including (but not limited to): “I want to be a good little girl, so I will speak up less” (acceptance), “If being quiet is what ‘good’ girls do, then I want to be a ‘bad’ girl” (mixture of acceptance/rejection), or “I am a good girl and I don’t want to always be quiet, therefore that person was wrong” (rejection). It is important to understand that, while the ways in which we internalize messages vary from person to person, we are all of us, without exception, affected by these messages.

Another thing to be aware of is that it’s not just one message on one occasion. It’s not just the little girl being told by someone “good little girls are quiet”, but rather her being exposed to that same kind of idea in a multitude of mediums: both the direct statements as well as, say, the difference between how little boys are treated when they act out versus little girls, or the portrayals of little girls on television. She will be exposed to the opposite messages as well; someone telling her “good little girls aren’t afraid to speak their mind”, having a school environment that consciously works to treat the children the same regardless of gender, or seeing television shows that show girls as active and assertive. All of this will contribute to how she internalizes the message, and as she grows and adds experience to her life those internalizations will change accordingly.

*

Just as how we internalize external sexism is influenced by various factors, so too is how we deal with the internalized sexism. When Rosenwasser says “group members loathing themselves” (ie. self-hate), she isn’t asserting that all women walk around in a depressed funk thinking consciously about how they suck because they are women. The same goes for “disliking others in their group” — that assertion doesn’t mean, for instance, that women who have a lot of unaddressed internalized sexism can’t and don’t make connections with other women. What it does mean, however, is that it is very easy for women — even feminist women — to side with the “male” point of view (see the FAQ entry on male privilege for how “male” is seen as “normal”) and therefore devalue the “female” point of view, in ourselves, in other women, and even in men.

The consequence of internalizing this role is an enormous reservoir of self-hate. This is not to say the self-hate is recognized or accepted as such; indeed most women would deny it. It may be experienced as discomfort with her role, as feeling empty, as numbness, as restlessness, as a paralyzing anxiety at the center. Alternatively, it may be expressed in shrill defensiveness of the glory and destiny of her role. But it does exist, often beneath the edge of her consciousness, poisoning her existence, keeping her alienated from herself, her own needs, and rendering her a stranger to other women. They try to escape by identifying with the oppressor, living through him, gaining status and identity from his ego, his power, his accomplishments. And by not identifying with other “empty vessels” like themselves. Women resist relating on all levels to other women who will reflect their own oppression, their own secondary status, their own self-hate. For to confront another woman is finally to confront one’s self-the self we have gone to such lengths to avoid. And in that mirror we know we cannot really respect and love that which we have been made to be.

*

We need to be aware of not only the external sexism in the world, but the ways in which we internalize and contribute to these messages. We can’t allow ourselves to think that we are the exceptions, that we are somehow smart enough, educated enough, or vigilant enough to be completely free of all internalized sexism. We need to realize that, no matter how much conscious work we put into dismantling sexism that we are, ultimately, products of our culture and because of that there will be sexist assumptions and thoughts operating in the background of our thoughts. Only once that we accept that we are all, sometimes, part of the problem, can we work towards minimizing that problem.

Freeing ourselves of internalized oppression means first increasing our awareness of the messages we give ourselves regarding limits, and secondly and equally important, the way I respond to other women. Am I living my life with an awareness of what I really want and who I really am or trying to sniff out where they want me to fit in? Am I championing other women who are coming from their bigness and appreciating the room they are making for me and all women in the world or responding within the internalized oppression, thinking and saying, “Who does she think she is….”? [...]
Let us have the courage to hear the voices of internalized sexism, the decisiveness to purge and dismiss them as the fear-based drivel they are, and the love and connectedness to live in the truth of the fullness of life. Let us support and celebrate any woman any time she acts as a dynamic, playful, outspoken, laughing deeply , fully alive human being. Let us say YES! and express, feel, and live You Go Girl!!! Who said we can’t have our cake and eat it too and what were they afraid of? No Limits.

http://finallyfeminism101.wordpress.com/2007/10/20/internalized-sexism/

Reply to this discussion