A friend has breast cancer

Actually, she's my husband's friend; they've known each other for years. She's a single lady, in her late 40s, and except for her mother and brother she's alone.

She's scared to death, and I want to be able to give her some advice and encouragement. She may have the choice of a mastectomy or lumpectomy; they'll know more later on his week. Does anyone have any stats as to survival rates for either procedure? She wants to keep her breast.

I don't have breast cancer, but I'd recommend that she check out a few websites:

www.blochcancer.org

American Cancer Society: www.cancer.org

Gilda's Club: www.gildasclub.org

Some of those sites will have some good info for her. Also, there are quite a few breast cancer survivors here in this group and I'm sure they'll check in with more info soon. I'm sorry to hear of her diagnosis. It's very frightening in the beginning, especially when there are options and you don't know what to do. I'll keep her in my thoughts.

I just checked out Gilda's Club per your suggestion and there's a chapter in our area. I'll see about getting her down there in the near future.

One good website is breastcancer.org and komen.org is also good. There are so many kinds of breast cancer and tumor sizes..I'm sure her doctors will go over everything she needs to know. I was diagnosed last Jan., have gone through a mastectomy and 4 rounds of chemo, and doing fine. Like I said, there are so many types and so many variables, you'd be surprised. I know I was when I started doing research. Let us know what happens, and I wish her the best. Cancer is tough, but I've learned that when you are diagnosed with it, it's not a death sentence, it's a chronic disease you'll have to keep stay on top of. Knowledge and attitude will take you a long way. Support from friends, family, and other survivors is essential.

Once again, these are very encouraging words for her. The more she hears about survival, the better it will be, I think.

I was amazed at the number of women that I am somehow connected to that are breast cancer survivors - clients, neighbors, friends - their mothers, grandmothers, sisters, daughters and aunts. Knowing that there are thousands of women in this dilemma kept me away from "Why me?'.

:grouphug: I got a lot of valuable encouragement and information from the people in this DU Cancer Support Group. Their knowledge was empowering.

Tell your friend to go online and read all about BC and to ask and ask and ask all of her doctors every question she has. Tell her to make a list of questions and take notes. My best friend went with me to see the Breast Surgeon, and wrote down everything that was discussed.
Get a second opinion, which in my case was the same as the first.

These web sites were very helpful:

http://www.breastcancer.org

http://www.ahrq.gov/consumer/brcanchoice.htm#Learn

http://www.susanlove.com/

http://www.blochcancer.org/

My best to your friend and to you for caring about her.

for newly diagnosed patients.

Also National Breast Cancer Coalition's Guide to Quality Breast Cancer Care.

If your friend's doctor thinks a lumpectomy is appropriate (if her tumor is small enough and hasn't spread outside the breast) and its not an "aggressive" type of breast cancer, then the risk of it spreading or recurring, etc. is no different than for a mastecomy.

She should look at her pathology report and determine if her size of tumor and its characteristics (endocrine receptor status, nuclear grade, etc.) make it a reasonable choice.

Other factors to consider along w/ the size of the tumor is the size of her own breasts, whether it would be disfiguring to have a lumpectomy, and what kind of breast reconstruction options are available to her. If its a small tumor, a lumpectomy is preferred, for faster recovery and psychological reasons - to keep the breast as normal as possible.

Sorry to hear about your friend, hope it works out well for her. So nice of you to show your concern. :hug:

Your's is the kind of support that is needed; to be there and be willing to do research for her.

Those survival stats can be confusing, old and out of date. I can't remember where I heard this, but "Accept the diagnosis, but not the prognosis." This little ditty has helped me through the last 3 years of 3 cancer diagnoses.

Don't talk about the cancer, unless she wants too, make her dinner, sit w/ her, listen to her, just be there for her. I was diagnosed at the age of 28 and have been cancer for 13 years...I've had a double mastectomy and am thrilled to be alive. Good luck to your friend.

BTW - ask her family to call 1-800-4-cancer and ask them for the most update to date medical treatment for breast cancer - since you're not family they won't send you the information. It will tell her what is the most current treatment for her type of cancer.

is one of the best treatments your friend will have. Everyone has given you excellent advice and sites to gain knowledge. I would add to keep telling her she is a survivor and not a victim. Sometimes the greatest gift you can give a friend diagnosed with cancer is s shoulder to lean on and quiet comfort.