Reply #9: Whilst I don't consider this exactly right, if no laws were broken... [View All]

...then it's none of our effing business. And sticking our outraged noses in with all our hostility bristling is a bloody good recipe for destroying whatever chance there might be of making this relationship work.

From what we know, it can be inferred that there was no actual breach of his "duty of care" or of age of consent laws. Icky, ooky, kooky, an entire Addams Family worth of adjectives, notwithstanding, your sense of moral outrage can only inspire the law, it can't substitute for it.

Fix the law to stop it happening again, but don't be disappointed when it doesn't make a real whit of difference. It appears a good deal of the outrage is at the marriage, and banning such is probably the easiest way of "fixing" the problem and also the most pointless.

In a good many jurisdictions, (including presumably this one) at sixteen, there is no legal way of stopping her from simply leaving home and moving in with whoever she likes. Resolving teacher - student conflicts is a separate and obviously not insurmountable issue. Marriage, with parental consent, at least maximises the chances that there will be some degree of oversight and picking up abuse if it occurs.

You people should take a closer look at your colonial and even quite recent history and keep quiet until you have digested it. You might not be appreciative of the customs of certain sects in Utah, but the polygamy aside it's a fairly good window on your not so distant past (and still enshrined in your laws about the place). Arranged marriage, large age differences, teen brides, it's YOUR history, (and in pockets here and there, your present) and strangely enough it worked reasonably well.

Today, outside of certain very artificial communities, what once worked, now fails, and often catastrophically. It strikes me that the most significant change is our sense of outrage towards such relationships. Over the same time women and children have been afforded enormously increased freedoms and protections under the law, and yet the atrocities increase and get worse. Seemingly in lockstep with our feelings towards intergenerational relationships.

Two observations: If there is a potential to create a supply and a demand, then the more illegal the activity the more ruthless will be the players.

And if it's just some idiot straying beyond acceptable bounds, well harsh penalties and panic are not a good mixture.


I'm not saying that the solution is a return to the good old days, or even some hybrid of then and now. Just that, the "solution" we are trying isn't working and may well be making the problem worse, even as we pat each other on the back and declaim what a difference we are making.