Ivins: Ashcroft was always more Bozo the Clown than Darth Vader [View All]

AUSTIN, Texas - Awwww, Ashcroft! My man. The one I liked best of the whole Cabinet, the most consistently entertaining, the most deliciously inept, the most amazingly wrong-headed. Ashcroft, my personal Bush administration icon. And besides, he's so sexy.

How can we forget the golden moments? The day he covered up the nekkid tit on a statue of the Spirit of Justice in the Justice Department headquarters because we can't have that kind of thing. His fabulous pre-9-11 record, especially the day he finally told his top terror guy he just didn't ''want to hear about it.''

And then there's his even more fabulous post-9-11 record. Indicting Zacarias Moussaoui as the ''20th hijacker'' when it turned out, oops, that was somebody else. What a showcase for American justice that trial has been. And the famous case of Jose Padilla, the alleged ''dirty bomber'' who not only didn't have any dirty bombs, he didn't even have a plan to get one.

Notwithstanding all this, Padilla, an American citizen, has been declared an enemy combatant and held incommunicado for three years. He does not have a right to a speedy trial or indeed any trial at all. He is not allowed to talk to a lawyer, not allowed to know the charges against him, not allowed to confront his accusers. I repeat, this is an American citizen, and the same thing can happen to any of us. Courtesy of John Ashcroft's contribution to American law, the PATRIOT Act.

http://www.sltrib.com/opinion/ci_2450169