Reply #38: There is a difference between self-ghettofication... [View All]

And occasionally wanting a place where, for a brief period, I can interact act as I always do with my spouse, without the constant nagging fear that someone will want to, or will, do harm to me because of it.

I am completely out, in my neighborhood (in a very conservative community), in my child's school (in a very conservative community), at work (in a very straight setting) , and at church (in a mainstream church), and to my extended family. We were the first couple in our religious community to have our same gender marriage celebrated after several years of struggle about it, and the first case in our state to test the adoption law at the appellate level. I hardly think I any brief seclusion I indulge myself in makes me guilty of separating myself from society.

Regardless of how out I am, and how integrated I am into 'mainstream society' I still always have to come out to each new acquaintance at some point. When I do - to a stranger who sees me holding hands with my spouse, or to a new acquaintance when I refer to her by name or gender - it takes energy and is done with some apprehension as to the response. Every once in a while, for brief periods, I would prefer not to have to experience that apprehension. I do not believe that is either wrong, or "self-ghettofication."