My niece - your input in the situation? [View All]

(please read history & story of this as well)

My niece this weekend asked me to borrow 550 for an abortion, she is 4 months pregnant. Initiallt my wife and I said yes, but after some thought we changed our minds.

History:
Me: I live next door to dad (and mom until she passed on 12/31/04). My niece has lived with them since she was 12, she is 26 now and still lives there.

Niece: 26, liberal, agnostic/new ager. Her BF of several years plays a lot of video games and works part times at a toy store, she is not working now. She spent a lot of time yelling at my mom (and now regrets that) over things from how can goods were stored in the cupboard to other minor things.

Mom and dad have given a home these many years no matter what.

Dad is RW christian, but liberal on other things.

Story:

After she asked me I decided, after much thought, to call dad. My fear was she would get the money from him and not tell him what it was for - and with his cancer and mom dying that would pain him to no end.

Dad had a talk with her. Said he would not give her the money either. But he would move out of his bedroom, clean up the family room, and sleep on a bed in small bedroom and pay her medical bills if she would keep it. My sister and I both agreed to adopt the baby. None of us would front the money for the abortion though (she is my brother's daughter and he won't pay for it either).

Over the 14 years she has lived there mom and dad have done everything they could to help her, including letting her BF live there as needed. Dad knows she has her own faith, but he does not judge her on that - she is family and he loves her as such. Even if she has the abortion he says she is welcome there, that is her choice. He just won't pay for it - neither will I.

She now says we are forcing to have a 'parasite' she does not want. She has hardly work since she was 18, dad has gotten her a car which she said she would paid for and has not.

Despite these things I mention above she is generally a nice and honest person, she just lives in a dream world where she thinks she should be given land and wants to be a photographer but makes no effort to learn about it.

I feel bad (well, not too much) that I told dad, and that I told her I would lend her the money and then changed my mind. My wife and I desperately want another child and would glady take it in, as would my sister.

Now they are mad at us all and she left with her BF today to spend some time at a friend's house.

I hope she comes too and cuts us all some slack. We all love her. Dad is going in for cancer treatment soon (he should be ok) and her dilemma is weighing heavy on his mind. He will watch the baby, retire so he can help out, and do all he can to help - and now she is mad we won't give the money (nor will he) and hold us responsible if she has to have it (and she told dad if she has the baby she will take it and leave).

I am just pissed right now and hurting for her, so many want to help her and she is mad at the people who are reaching out. Even if she has the abortion, that is her decision, and we will love her. We just won't pay for it.

Sorry for the rant, just needed to get some thoughts out.