"Hey! You shouldn't have given the little n****r kids that money!" [View All]

I was in downtown Cleveland this morning for a job interview at a law firm, and was in desperate need of gas. So I stopped at the busy BP station near E. 9th and the highway to put a few bucks in the beast. I didn't want to fill it up because I was in my best dress and didn't want to take the chance of getting it dirty. I gave some money to the cashier in the store, and headed back to the car to pump the gas.

There were two black children by the pump, a boy and a girl, who looked to be between 10-12 years old. The boy came up and asked if he could pump the gas. I only had a couple of bucks on me after paying for the gas, so I told him he could have that if he wanted to pump the gas. He starts to pump it and is doing a good job.

Well, hoo boy, Katie bar the door, who should come barreling out the door of the station but the old buck-toothed cashier, who immediately started screaming "you goddamned little nigger kids, get the hell out of here, I'm tired of having to tell you, goddamnit! You're too young to pump the gas, you know and it and I'm tired of having to tell you nigger kids that!" Then, while I stood there momentarily speechless at such a blatant, open display of racism, she turned her wrath on me. "You should know better, goddamnit!" I took over the pump from the boy and told the kids under my breath to just hang around for a couple of minutes and they could still have the money when I was done.

Well, the old bat just wouldn't let it go, she stood there and screamed at me, "Hey! What are you giving those nigger kids that money for, you shouldn't give them that money!" At this point, I'd had enough, and I hollered back (we were a distance apart so I almost had to yell) that it was my own damned money and I'd do with it as I damn well pleased and there wasn't a goddamn thing she could do about it. She just huffed and puffed that it was a waste, they were no-good little nigger bastards anyway. I said that at least they were trying to earn money legitimately, they weren't out causing or getting into trouble (they were on spring break from school). Yeah, give 'em time, she said, that'll happen soon enough. I just stared at her. She muttered something about "stupid nigger kids", then turned and went back inside.

The kids, meanwhile, had slunk off and were walking back toward the residential area behind the station. What was really discouraging was such a blatant, open display of racism in a crowd (that included several blacks of various ages) in broad daylight.

Since I was robbed at gunpoint last August by a young black male, far too many whites have come out of the closet with their racism, fully expecting me to hate and fear ALL blacks and to have learned my lesson as to what "those people" are "really like." Yeah, I learned my lesson all right, only not the one they wanted me to learn. I learned that racism is still very much alive and kicking and is often hidden by people who've learned to be very good at disguising their true feelings. And sometimes it's not hidden at all and people don't feel any shame or have any problem at all with blatant, open displays of racial contempt.

And what's really disheartening is the thought of what repeated episodes of shit like that will do to those kids. I really have to wonder.