Question About Wedding Registries [View All]

I was prompted to write this after reading another thread in the lounge:
Family having a baby...why do **I** have to buy crap for the kid?

So here's the deal. I'm getting married on the 31st of December to a great woman with four children. I have never been married and have no children, but I have lived on my own since I was 18. She has lived on her own since about then too. So between us, we already have double of everything that's necessary and double of a lot of stuff that isn't, and frankly, the house where we're going to live (where she lives now) is not big enough for all of the things we both jointly possess. We're going to have to sell or donate a lot of household items as it is.

So when it comes to making a registry, we are somewhat concerned. We don't need another toaster, we have one too many already. Same with lamps, blenders, rugs, coffee makers, etc. Sheets, towels, etc are okay because you can never really have too many of those, but we don't NEED them because we already have all that stuff.

We have so far decided not to create a registry because we honestly can't think of anything to put on one that we "need". However, we are sure that many people will want to buy us things and we're concerned we are going to end up with a lot of things we won't be able to use. As I said before, we've already got a monumental task on our hands of consolidating all of the things we already own. We have been told by various "experts" on wedding etiquette that it is not allowed for you to request "no gifts please" because it is "tacky" and presumes that people were going to give you gifts in the first place. Instead, you're supposed to circulate word of what you want (or don't) through intermediaries such as family and friends. I don't believe that will work... people in our circles will still choose to get us stuff because that's just how they are. With no registry to guide them, there is a significant chance we will end up with a lot of things we don't need.

One thing we have thought about is a honeymoon registry. This allows guests to go to a website and cover a portion of your honeymoon expenses by say, paying $100 toward airline tickets, or maybe a $40 dinner or maybe $50 toward your hotel room or whatever they want (from a list of expenses that you have established like any other registry). The website then sends you the cash prior to your honeymoon to be used to pay for the honeymoon expenses. To us, this is the best idea because we'd really like to have a nice honeymoon, it allows people to give if they want to, and we won't end up with even more things that we just don't have room for. However, my mother says it is tacky in the extreme and is very much against the idea.

Any suggestions/advice?