Reply #5: I delivered pizza for five years [View All]

And let me tell you, let me tell you, let me pull out my soapbox and hop on and preach, by God!!

GUARANTEED stiff = any house where the bumper sticker is freeperish. ANY Focus on the Family, GOP Candidate, anti-evolution, or other conservative bumper sticker is a guaranteed stiff. These people are also the sort of brainless assholes who insist that you let their child count the money out to you so they'll learn (homeschoolers are fond of this) how to handle money. Never mind that the kid is 2, they don't know how to count in quarters, and you have four pizzas in the car getting older and colder by the second. They are also the sort of assholes who will leave a check (with no work number or driver's license) with a 5-year-old and then go take a fucking shower.

REPUBLICANS ARE THE WORST CUSTOMERS ON THE PLANET.

I delivered during the 1996 election season, and EVERY house with a Clinton/Gore yard sign, bumper sticker, etc., was a great tip. Friendly, nice people who didn't give you shit when you said, "My boss is going to jump my ass if I don't bring the coupon in." People who understood that you were doing them a service, not being the personal babysitter/dogsitter/chauffeur while they yap on the phone and try to FIND their person, like those goddamned Republican soccer moms.

*steps down*

Thank you, thank you very much.