A Public Service Message For Women [View All]

Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a wire hanger long after hypothermia has set in. I will win.

Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If
another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and
everything, I wouldn't know where to start." We will then drink beer as a form of Holy Communion.

Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me
soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman. You never get as sick as I do, so for you this isn't a problem.

Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries
at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like "cumin" or "tofu." For all I know, these are the same thing. And never, under any circumstances, expect me to pick up anything for which "feminine hygiene product" is a euphemism.

Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will
insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much, once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.

Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my
hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it.

Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking
about. The answer is always either sex, computers, or football. (But mostly just sex). I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't ask.

Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie.
Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't....and if you are feeling amorous afterwards...then I will certainly remember the name and recommend it to others.

Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought
what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it, looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?

This has been a public service message for Women to better understand the Male