Reply #41: Digit, do stay vigilant [View All]

I'm a lawyer, and in law school I interned at a legal services agency and represented plaintiffs in protection from abuse actions. These gentlemen (and it is mostly guys, although there are some female perps) want control over their women at all costs and will do anything to maintain it. I know it's painful to leave one's home, but if it comes to that, value your safety and that of your daughter first and foremost. I had a client murdered by her ex-husband because he just couldn't face the fact that she had rejected him. Although the court order took his guns away, he killed her with a butcher knife (and then himself) after waiting for her in her backyard.

I don't mean to scare you - just know that if this guy's as agitated as he sounds he could do anything. Don't worry that getting him arrested or restrained will make him angry - he needs to be punished for his behavior. But you need to stay on top of things as well. It sucks that that's the way it is.

Has she changed her cell phone number?

If he damages property, take lots of pictures. Document the times of every call you guys receive. If he emails or IMs her, tell her to save those, as well. If you ever have to go to court, you'll likely need that evidence against him to get enforceable orders.

Best of luck to you - I'll keep you in my thoughts, and please keep us apprised.