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...if there was an asshole in a bar, I would invariably sit next
to him/her.
.
Once, the only seat available in a crowded bar was next to
a guy who turned out to be hammered and he spent the next
two hours explaining to me that his ex-girlfriend had him
arrested for slashing her tires and that he was completely
innocent.
.
Told me over and over and over and over and fucking over.
.
I was very thirsty. And tired, And there was no other seat.
.
That's why (before anyone asks).
.
Closing time, I get up to leave and he grabs me and shouts,
"OK, I DID IT!!!!! BUT ONLY 'CAUSE I LOVE HER!!!"
.
It's a gift... this talent o' mine.
.
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