Reply #1: You can love someone DESPITE their addiction, whether or not you're enabling them... [View All]

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... or doing your best to support them in changing their behavior.
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I had a GF for whom I cared very much... who was not only an alcoholic,
but a resigned ("it's inevitable because I'm Irish"), self-destructive
and UGLY alcoholic. She became this person I didn't know when she had
had enough alcohol (not that there was ever "enough").
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To this day, I feel guilt about not having been "strong enough", but
personally, I couldn't watch her keep doing the things to herself that
she was doing.
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So, I think it may be wrong of you to presume that the person doesn't
love her. And THEY may be "co-enablers", both addicts who don't truly
recognize that either one of them has a problem. Without any specific
data or research to cite -- I feel that's more often the case.
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No matter, it's not necessarily an "exploitation" of a weakness -- it
may even be a love DESPITE that weakness.
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While your perspective of wanting her to stop harming herself and
others is commendable... your perspective of the relationship may be
WAY out-of-bounds.
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