Laid off twice in 2 years... running out of options.. trying to not lose all hope [View All]

Honestly, I am not sure what to do anymore. My savings have been depleted and I don't know what to do. I don't feel like anyone in a position to actually help people like me cares anymore. I don't feel like I am even on their radar. I feel invisible. Does anyone in government care? Do they? I mean, really? Because it sure as hell doesn't feel like it from where I am sitting.

Some quick background on me: I am an IT professional with a variety of certifications and certificates. I have a college degree. My fiancee also has a college degree and also works in IT. I was laid off the first time in August 2009. She was laid off in September 2010. I managed to find another job in March 2011, only to be laid off again after three months. Neither of us currently has any real prospects, and only a couple of minor part-time jobs and unemployment insurance as income. I cashed out my 401(k) last year, and that helped us stay afloat a while, but now that money is gone. Our savings has gone from five figures to (barely) three. We don't own a home, we rent. We have no children, only dogs and cats (whom we consider our kids, honestly). We do not live extravagantly.

Both of us are concerned about what is going to happen in the next few months. We are now paying COBRA for both of us, which is almost the same as paying two rents, honestly. It might as well be. The cost of health care would be hard even if both of us were still working, but it is truly ironic that being unemployed is actually increasing our expenses in such a dramatic way. We are now in the process of figuring out what possessions we can sell to try to raise some more money.

We have both been applying to all sorts of jobs. We each typically apply to between 5 and 10 jobs a week, including custom cover letters and resumes that we try to tailor to the job. She at least has gotten some interviews. I have not had any since the ones last fall that led to my last job. They took 5 months to hire me for a job that lasted 3 months. My boss decided after my 90 day probationary period to let me go, and I am not sure why, only that he never seemed to warm to me. The general consensus seems to be that it was some sort of personality clash. Whatever the reason, I was quickly disposed of, with less than two hours passing from the time I was notified that I was being let go to the point where I had all of my stuff in boxes in my car and was driving home, stunned. I had no idea. That was a month ago.

I am exhausted. It is hard enough keeping my chin up, when my future wife has literally cried herself to sleep on several occasions. Our wedding is this fall, in November. At this point we have already wiped out all the money we had set aside for a honeymoon, and so we have put off any plans for anything at all after the wedding. Now we are wondering if the wedding itself will be affected, since we may have to borrow money from our parents that would have been used for the wedding. The upcoming wedding seems to be one of the few things that has sustained us, especially her. If we end up scaling that back too, I know she will probably be affected more than me, probably heartbroken to put it mildly.

And it is made worse by the attitudes of so many people, even some people who know us, who seem to think that all of this is some sort of reflection on our character. They think we are unemployed because we have no ambition and "just haven't tried hard enough" or something. It's one thing to hear this from Republicans and the like on TV or talk radio. It's quite another to hear it from actual people all around you, in grocery stores, meetings, career centers (!?!) and even in our church (thankfully not from our Pastor at least). This is after I borrowed even more money in student loans to get "retrained" and make myself more employable. We have applied for literally hundreds of jobs - each. We have tried all sorts of websites, career centers, and employment agencies. We have tried personal networking, professional networking, and cold calls to places with large IT departments. All to no avail. There are times I applied for a job and got a rejection e-mail the same day. I am 40 years old, and she is in her early 30's. We are supposed to have some of the best years of our lives ahead of us, especially together after the wedding. We are not supposed to feel like we are plummeting off a cliff and things are only going to continue to get worse.

Please tell me we are not alone. Please tell me that things will get better, and that someone out there with power and influence actually cares about helping people like us. I desperately want to believe it. But honestly, I have not seen a whole hell of a lot being done for people like us lately. The government seems intent on giving the wealthy whatever they want to their little hearts' desire, and the rest of us are just out of luck. Even the President, whom we both voted for, seems to have bought into the idea that there isn't really that much the government can do for those of us who are scraping the bottom of the barrel. At least that is what it feels like.

So convince me I am wrong. Please. Or better yet, convince the President and Congress that there are a lot of people like us out there, we are getting desperate, and we need help. The President has certainly shown the ability to be eloquent and persuasive on occasion. Is he on our side? I want to believe that he is. But I need deeds, not words, to convince me. Words are not going to pay my COBRA costs, or put gas in my car to take me to the next interview or job fair.

Anyway, I have no idea how many of you will read this, or whether or not any of it will make a difference in the end. But for those of you who do, thanks for listening, and thanks for caring even a little bit.

Sincerely,

9thkvius