SOMETIMES I JUST CAN'T HELP MYSELF ... [View All]

It was just TOO irresistable ... my response to John Gibson's latest My Word September 29, 2006

Hey, John:

Firstly, let me thank you for reminding all of us that it is indeed election season. As you probably know, we listeners/viewers of FOX tend to be a little slow on the uptake, so a friendly reminder is always appreciated.

I was truly riled to see those quotes from President Carter and Senator Clinton about Bush having made us into an international disgrace, and being responsible for all of the damage done to this country. Why can’t these people just keep their mouths shut? The whole world KNOWS about the disgrace and the damage, so why do those Democrats insist on airing our dirty laundry in public? A patriotic American distracts people away from such truths, instead of waving them around like a flag.

Didn’t they read that report on how our being in Iraq has made terrorism even WORSE than it was before? Don’t they realize that the whole world hates us already, so there’s no need to remind everybody why? It just makes my blood boil!

As for that Woodward fella, I think you hit the nail on the head when you brought up the suspect timing of his new book! When he put out that other book – I can’t recall the name (not much of a reader here, as you probably know), but the one where he was soft-soaping the whole lead-up to the invasion of Iraq – I figured he was a good mouthpiece for this administration. Now I look at this new book and I gotta wonder whose side is he REALLY shilling for, ours or theirs? This boy deserves a closer look, and that’s for sure.

As you said yourself, “What are the themes? Bush is lying to the American people. Have we heard that before?” Well, of course we have. Yes, Bush lied – big deal. Do we have to hear it over, and over, and over? Can’t people just forget about the deceit, the trillions of dollars being spent in Iraq and Afghanistan, the thousands of casualties, and the total lack of progress?

Why can’t we all just concentrate on the good that’s come out of all of this, like being able to own up to having secret prisons, and finally being able to torture people just like that Saddam Hussein did? Sometimes I just don’t know what gets into good Christian people, honest to God.

Well, as you pointed out, “It’s just electioneering. Soon the Bushies will be at it, too.” Well, that’s what we’re all waiting for, John. And we all know from past experience that when it comes to going at it, nobody does it like the GOP!

It just makes me giddy when I think about the smut and lies OUR side will be fabricating about those Democrats before this election thing plays itself out. Hell, if we can smear genuine war heroes like Kerry, Murtha and Clelland, we can do ANYTHING! And the fact that we actually get away with that crap while we have our own draft-dodging idiot in the White House must REALLY stick in their craw!

“And not just vilifying an individual, George Bush, but a whole set of ideas. The war in Iraq is bad, the War on Terror is bad, battling terrorists has made us bad, tax cuts are bad and the economy is bad. We're a disgrace, an embarrassment, and we ought to be ashamed.”

Well, you said a mouthful there, John! Yeah, yeah, the War on Terror, the war in Iraq, and the economy are all going bad. So tell me something we didn’t already know already! Do the Democrats really think we are SO STUPID we don’t know these things without their having to point them out over and over again?

I’ll tell you the truth, John, just between you and me: If it wasn’t for the mister being out of work for almost three years now, and my youngest bankrupting us with his medical bills since we ain’t got no health coverage, and the fact that my little ‘tax cut’ didn’t come close to covering the increased cost of everything so that I can’t afford to fill up the tank, I’d get in the ol’ pick-up in six weeks and actually vote! That would show these Democrats what I’m made of and, under more favorable financial circumstances, you could have counted on it!

Anyways, I just wanted to drop you a line and tell you that I am behind everything you say, one hundred percent, even though I rarely understand what it is you’re talking about.

But if I could be so bold as to make a suggestion: I hope you fellas over at FOX will be leaving real political debate to the other guys – what with their facts, and statistics, and what’nall – and concentrate on the important issues that we SHOULD all be focused on at this time of year.

In other words, like millions of other FOX fans, I hope I can still count on you and yours to keep your attention on things like the War on Christmas. What could be more important than keeping our American malls safe for democracy, one shiny plastic-baby-Jesus-in-a-manger key ring at a time?

So thanks again for your WORD, John! I only hope you appreciate MY WORD on the topic as well!

Yours Truly,
A Typically Crazed & Devoted Fan