Great News! Conservatives are disavowing 'Duh'bya' [View All]

here is an email exchange I'm in the midst of with some Freepers here at work. Synopsis: email about how conservative are tough and drink beer and liberals are wimps and drink white wine.

then guy who started it seems to imply the * isn't considered a conservative. If you want to read it in order read from the bottom up.


-----Original Message-----
From:
Sent: Monday, September 19, 2005 10:34 AM
To:
Subject: Re: Fwd: FW: History of Beer

Now who said "W" was actually a conservative?

-----Original Message-----
From:
Sent: Monday, September 19, 2005 10:34 AM
To:
Subject: Re: Fwd: FW: History of Beer


It's called a "measured response"

I wouldn't want to make you cry or anything. You might take me off your
email list.

(heheh, as if)

>>> 09/19/05 10:25AM >>>
Is this all you can come back with???

>>> 09/19/05 10:19AM >>>
"Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
-- Benjamin Franklin (one of the original American liberals, and he
believes in God???)

So the Conservatives are the tough guys and Liberals are the wimps?

Then maybe you can tell me why the toughest tough Conservative has to
ask permission of Condi (see attached) to make a "conservative
movement".

>>> 09/19/05 09:46AM >>>
On the $!!!

>>> 09/14/05 01:53PM >>>


Good history lesson. Makes sense to me...


History began some 12,000 years ago. Humans existed as
members of small bands of nomadic hunter/gatherers.
They lived on deer in the mountains during the winter
and would go to the coast to live on fish and lobster
in the summer.

The two most important events in all of history were
the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel.
The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These
were the foundations of modern civilization, and
together were the catalyst for the splitting of
humanity into two distinct subgroups: Liberals &
Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered, it required grain, and that
was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass
bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while
our early human ancestors were sitting around waiting
for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the
brewery. That's how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals
to B-B-Q at night while they were drinking beer. This
was the beginning of what is known as "the
Conservative movement."

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting,
learned to live off the conservatives by showing up
for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing the sewing, fetching
and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the
liberal movement. Some of these liberal men eventually
evolved into women. The rest became known as
"girlymen."

Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the
domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy
and group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting
to decide how to divide the meat and beer that
conservatives provided.

Over the years, conservatives came to be symbolized by
the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the
elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added),
but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water.
They eat raw fish but like their beef well done.
Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal
fare.

Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of
their women have higher testosterone levels than their
men.

Most social workers, personal injury attorneys,
journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group
therapists, are liberals. Liberals invented the
designated hitter rule because it wasn't "fair" to
make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat
and still provide for their women. Conservatives are
big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks,
construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police
officers, corporate executives, soldiers, athletes,
and generally, anyone who works productively outside
government.

Conservatives who own companies hire other
conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to
"govern" the producers and decide what to do with the
production! Liberals believe Europeans are more
enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the
liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were
coming to America. They crept in after the Wild West
was tame and created a business of trying to get more
for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history. Now you
know everything that's really important...........