so, which George W. Bush is going to show up in Halifax? [View All]

A field guide ...


"Statesmanlike (sorta) Bush" -- suit and tie, carefully-coiffed hair, and thinly-disguised disdain. Recites professionally-written speech, which he then proceeds to ruin by blurting out snide comments at francophone reporters.

"The Connecticut Cowpoke" -- quasi-casual clothes, e.g. black dress pants and blue gingham shirt. Starts off speech by directing aggressively-jovial comments at host city's mayor ("fill those potholes"). Goes downhill from there. Assumes that the people he sees are uneducated yokels, and prefaces what he thinks are "difficult" words with oversimplified (and usually incorrect) explanations which the audience already knows are wrong, since they've all completed 8th grade, thank you very much. Grins idiotically and inserts what he thinks are folksy expressions, ranging from recent TV catchphrases to garbled phrases which he's basically made up himself. Hee-yuck.

"Mr. Pitiful" -- messed-up hair, bags under eyes, rumpled suit jacket, no tie. In hopes of pre-empting any criticism, launches immediately into how sad he's been since 9/11, since he hasn't been able to jog as much as he'd like. Adds that the presidency is hard work. He misses Laura and the dogs. Did he mention the hard work?