Reply #99: Then you should spend some time [View All]

with women and men who are just starting to talk about their experiences.

>>Really I think this is a non issue. I can think of no
one, (and I am personally aware of a couple of cases)
who did not consider their experience of incest as anything
other than non consensual.<<

Many women (and the majority are women so I'll just talk about women to avoid juggling pronouns), particularly when they first start speaking about their experiences are very confused. Many question whether they did something to trigger it. Were they dressing provocatively (I have spoken with children who later questioned how they dressed at that young age - as well as with mothers who blamed their pre-teen daughters for seducing their husbands/boyfriends)? Why did they have an orgasm (it is not uncommon in family rape - particularly when the victim is male, or when oral sex is performed on a female victim) - did that mean they really wanted it? Many confuse sex with love, because the act of rape - or more often the relatively long indoctrination period leading up to intercourse - was the only time that parent was physically gentle with them - rather than angry and physically abusive. Some do "consent" because they believe that it will protect a younger sibling - and struggle with coming to grips how to think about that "consent."

Family rape is often extremely confusing for the survivors. Naming it rape is often one of the first steps toward recovery.

That doesn't even begin to address the core misunderstanding you seem to have that incest is never consensual.

The taboo likely developed because of the tendency of two individuals with a shared genetic background to have the same recessive genes and produce the associated trait in their offspring - not the power differential between the participants. Siblings may well be attracted to each other and choose to act on it - particularly step-siblings or adopted children who are less, or not, genetically related. In many states, sexual relationships between first cousins is incest (because the law prohibits marriage between first cousins), and those relationships are more likely than not consensual.

Just because something is taboo doesn't necessarily imply that it was forced.