Why does everything I do spiritually backfire on me personally? [View All]

In the past I did start off with doubting whether or not something would work and after seeing things happen more and more I started changing that. I also go in having a positive outlook on things. Last night I had this feeling something negative was coming my way and had bad energy around me. I had this very strange dream where in it I was an Arabic man in what felt like Iraq. I was with about five/six other prisoners and going to be tortured and had chains around my wrist and we were all tied together. There was another Arabic man who had this sharp knife like object making it sharper like they do. Than, the weirdest thing, was the man doing the sharpening looked at me and said it wasn't my time because they knew I wasn't the real person in the body and that everything was out of sync. Than this morning I had a little headache and than I came home for a bit after my second class and I forgot I left something I needed in my backpack (I usually don't put it there) and my brother and I got into a fight and he hurt my fingers and in the past after I did energy to myself (positive) and I had a cd player stolen and a cd. :( So I don't do much for myself and this is why I'm afraid to do something positive for myself. I don't know if I have bad karma or what. :\ Whenever I help anyone else it always works really fast and well so I know I have the abilities. Thanks for reading. :blush: